Most likely homeless forever [Canon is The Lorax]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[If the Once-ler had a face, it would have the look of extreme annoyance on it.]

Now listen here, mundane, if what I'm hearing is true, then what you're saying is that you're taking me from my company for fun, even though you're well aware that can't be wasting time like a fumblerfumb! Now that's something that I cannot stand, and I'm sure that you as well have no idea what you really planned. In fact, as soon as I find the door, I promise that there will be a war!

Comments

[thatallpeopleneed]

Uh-huh. And... nobody's ever pointed out how weird it is to you before?

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Not one thing, person, or animal. Pointing it out, I think, would be irrational.

[thatallpeopleneed]

Riiiiight.

Sooooooo. Any reason why my mun made that loud, screechy noise when she saw you?

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

They're probably just excited to see such a celebrity. Why, for her meeting me might be their greatest destiny!

[Once-ler, not everyone thinks you're the greatest man in the universe.]

[thatallpeopleneed]

Let me guess, radio celebrity? You've got the face for it.

[OHHHH BURN.]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Hey, man, don't insult yourself. That can be considered self-harm.]

Of course not! I'm the inventor of the Thneed, which everyone has bought!

[Does he have to remind him of this every time he talks to himself?]

[thatallpeopleneed]

...

[Just... this face. Forever.]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Aaand another metaphorical annoyed look.]

As I've said before, I am the one who invented the thneed, so no yelling over my great suceeds.

1/2

[thatallpeopleneed]

No you didn't! I did that!

2/2

[thatallpeopleneed]

... I did that.

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Yeeeeaaaah, well if you're so horrified by it, he'll just continue the credit that was totally always his]

Of course you did that. Just like a whozitt can be used by a gnat.

[thatallpeopleneed]

... You're one of those 'alternate' things I've heard about, aren't you.

I am so sorry for the late reply

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Alternates? I don't know what you're talking about! I am the original Once-ler without a doubt!

No problem! We are all busy people. :D

[thatallpeopleneed]

Well, whatever you are, it's weird.

And I take it you're still selling Thneeds?

Alright!

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Of course I'm still selling Thneeds! Why would I stop selling something that everyone needs?

[And makes him money.]

[thatallpeopleneed]

[Oncie throws a quick glare at his mun. HE DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS MMKAY?]

Uhh, I don't know, maybe because you run out of trees?

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Now you're sounding just like Nature Boy, you see! There are still plenty of trees