Most likely homeless forever [Canon is The Lorax]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[If the Once-ler had a face, it would have the look of extreme annoyance on it.]

Now listen here, mundane, if what I'm hearing is true, then what you're saying is that you're taking me from my company for fun, even though you're well aware that can't be wasting time like a fumblerfumb! Now that's something that I cannot stand, and I'm sure that you as well have no idea what you really planned. In fact, as soon as I find the door, I promise that there will be a war!

Comments

[fruity_puppeteer]

But what joy is there in work and toil? All you get is blood to boil! I like wasting my time than a life sour as lime~

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

But work brings in profits, and without profits you can't enjoy your benefits!

[truffulacide]

[now, his mother has always told him that it's rude to stare, but he hasn't followed that rule for a very long time and doesn't plan on making an exception now.

especially for a pair of arms.]

Riiiight. Good luck getting anything with that attitude, buddy.

A part of me was hoping this would happen

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Well obviously he's staring because he's looking at the one and only Once-ler!]

There's no reason to suspect it wouldn't work. After all, she knows that I can let my work be shirked.

it was destined.

[truffulacide]

[pish posh, sir. he is the Once-ler. it is him.]

So does mine, but good luck trying to get her to admit that.

It wouldn't even be so bad if I had material to make my Thneeds or, heck, even a pair of knitting needles, but nooooo. Can't have that because we might run the risk of making me happy.

They were meant for each other in the most horrible way.

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Your Thneeds? Now wait a moment, kid, claiming that my invention's yours is something I forbid!

[truffulacide]

Your invention? That's stupid. The Thneed is my brainchild. [even if it quite hasn't caught on yet. darn, he KNEW he should have applied for a patent.]

Just who do you think you are?

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

I'm the Once-ler, surely you know of my name if these are the same Thneeds that you proclaim!

1/2

[truffulacide]

[that very tiny little crack you may have heard just now is his brain breaking.]

2/2

[truffulacide]

[- and as we all know, there's no better way to cover up absolute befuddlement by forcing a laugh.]

- Oh man, this is golden. Did my brothers put you up to this? They had to have. [and now he's peering at the other to see if this is some sort of elaborate costume. or piece of puppetry.]

I mean, it's not like it was enough to be teased. That didn't hurt at all!

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[There's that metaphorical look of annoyance again as he drums his fingers on his chair.]

[truffulacide]

[likewise, he waves it off with the back of his hand.]

As far as this world is concerned, there's only one Once-ler and you're not him. You should just quit while you're ahead before you give me a bad name.

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[It's almost like you're trying to push all of his buttons.]

Quit while I'm ahead?! After all the Thneeds I sold? If it's anyone it should be you who should listen to what I have told!

[truffulacide]

[now what ever gave you that idea?]

What? You actually sold one?! [you better believe he's jelly. he couldn't even sell the one measly Thneed he brought to town and this guy's making an enterprise out of them!] I didn't bust my rump trying to get those Truffula tufts just for someone to come along and steal my creation!

This is totally illegal and - and unfair!

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[You could seriously learn a thing or two from this Once-ler, other Once-ler; it didn't even take him a minute to sell his first Thneed!]

This is anything but unlawful! And for thinking otherwise you are just awful! For all I know you could be undercover for the Nature Boy! Or perhaps ruining my business out of sick joy!

Suddenly...

[plank_o_wood]

[Plank isn't sure why, but he doesn't like you. Just look at his unapproveing stare.]

[truffulacide]

Yeah, like I'm that petty. [snorts.]

...Nature Boy? You mean the Lorax?

Oh my god yes

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Well he doesn't like you either, Plank. Though he does picks Plank up and examines him. Really, who would draw a face on a piece of wood?]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Yeah, that's right, the Lorax! The one who does nothing but yaks and yaks.

[truffulacide]

He is pretty annoying, isn't he. Pretty anal about those trees, too.

[plank_o_wood]

[Plank continues to stare with intense judgement. His face says it all Once-ler, for shame.]

[fruity_puppeteer]

I get enough benefits from spreading chaos and disharmony~

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Well that actually gets a slight chuckle out of him. Congrats!]

He's been pestering you about those trees as well, I see. He just can't leave any of use running a business be.

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Oh no, smiling, he's so scared. Seriously, Nature Boy was more threatening than you.]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Well how will I get costumers if I drive them away with topsy-turvyness? I'd like to see you try and run a business!

[Well he is causing chaos and disharmony, he's just not very aware of that.]