I'm not vain I'm just... O.K., I'm vain

[grimbiker]

Dear Mun,

Congratulations on finally settling on a— what do you call them? PBs? Whatever the guy in the tiny Muggle pictures is called. But I’m afraid you need to find another one. There are several problems with this one but I will address the most important: He’s simply not sexy enough. I know the Muggle interwebs is not ready for what I really look like. The sight of a man even half as sexy as I would break it. But you can still find a more accurate PB. So take these picture things down and go back to looking for a suitable PB.

Sincerely,
Sirius Black

Comments

[grimbiker]

And I thought my family had issues.

[morewidows]

It was probably at her request, not out of anything spiteful.

[grimbiker]

And I thought Aunt Elladora was mad for starting the grand tradition of decapitating our house elves.

[morewidows]

House elves? That sounds like quite the drawing point, very handy.

It seems odd, however, that whatever kind of elves these are didn't get to choose for their own decapitation as a tradition.

[grimbiker]

[Not going to admit it took him ages to learn he had to pick up after himself without his house elves around.]

They're slaves, really. No one actually cares what they want. But they- or at least Kreacher- loved the idea of having his head hung up on the wall next to all his ancestors. It was disgusting.

[morewidows]

[Morticia is her own breed of housewife, though Lurch and Thing are quite helpful, of course.]

Disgusting is relative, as are many things. Perhaps it was simply a case of nature versus nurture, wherein whatever had nurtured him into such a state seemed to be quite easy to understand to him.

[A pause.]

"Kreacher." Doesn't seem a common name.

[grimbiker]

Maybe. I'm not interested in what made him that way. I'm away from him and the rest of the damn house now. I never have to deal with it again.

It's not unusual for a house elf. At least, not for a house elf owned by illustrious family.

[morewidows]

[She tilts her head slightly, dark hair falling about her pale face.]

One so young should not be so bitter. I am sorry for that.

[grimbiker]

[Sirius blinks. He hadn't realized how bitter he sounded. He shrugs.]

Not your fault. And like I said, I'm away from all of that now.

[morewidows]

I do hope you manage to find happiness, dear, away from the place that plagued you so.

[grimbiker]

Thanks. I know I will.