I'm not vain I'm just... O.K., I'm vain

[grimbiker]

Dear Mun,

Congratulations on finally settling on a— what do you call them? PBs? Whatever the guy in the tiny Muggle pictures is called. But I’m afraid you need to find another one. There are several problems with this one but I will address the most important: He’s simply not sexy enough. I know the Muggle interwebs is not ready for what I really look like. The sight of a man even half as sexy as I would break it. But you can still find a more accurate PB. So take these picture things down and go back to looking for a suitable PB.

Sincerely,
Sirius Black

Comments

[grimbiker]

Can't meet you on the comic book part but I can on the war. And I looked damn good for every minute of it.

Your move.

[exloserspromise]

I was essentially dead for nearly seventy years and kids are still dressing up as me every Halloween.

[And the History Channel airs all their Captain America specials on Independence Day, but Steve doesn't think that's relevant.]

[grimbiker]

I was framed for selling out my friends to a dark wizard, spent 12 years in Azkaban, broke free through sheer determination to stop my former friend who did betray them from hurting their son, spent years on the run until I finally died fighting to save my Godson.

...Kids dress up as you for Halloween?

[exloserspromise]

Well, apparently fighting Nazis and stopping a madman from destroying a significant portion of the United States made me something of a national hero. I don't see it because, like I said earlier, I was just doing my part in the war, but if what I did inspires people even a little bit to stand up for what's right I can't complain.

I'm sorry about what happened to you, though. No one should have to go through that.

[grimbiker]

But why would they dress up as you for Halloween?

No use whining about it when I haven't lived through half of it yet. I hopefully never will but. [He shrugs.] Who knows how this multiverse time travel works.

And I deserved it.

[exloserspromise]

Because dressing up as someone or something else is as much a part of Halloween as getting candy and playing pranks! For one night you get to be whoever you want to be, and some kids still want to be me.

Sounds like you still have time to fight it. I don't know much about time travel myself, but if you do everything in your power to fix things, maybe you'll succeed. I'd take that chance every time.

[grimbiker]

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for pranks but I still don't see what costumes and candy have to do with Samhain.

Even if I do I can't fix everything... But even if I don't, my Godson grows up to be an incredible man. All the same, I want to be there for him.

[Yeah, he's not going to say anything about having to go back to prison for 12 more years if everything is fixed. That pretty much screws over any plans except the "beware of curtains" one.]

[exloserspromise]

According to my mun, the costumes are to keep evil spirits friendly and the candy is from poor people getting food in exchange for prayers. All I know is the dressing up part is a lot of fun, even for a poor kid who has to get creative.

Focus on that, doing the right thing for your godson. No one can fault you for taking care of someone you love.

[Somebody just isn't thinking creatively enough to fully harness the power of AUs. You can do it, Sirius!]

[grimbiker]

I'm going to pretend that made sense.

No one can fault you if you succeed in taking care of them. Everyone would be right to fault you if you can't even do that. [Why is there a hint of self loathing in his voice?]

[He's still trying to wrangle his mind around AUs. So many new things to process all at once!]

[exloserspromise]

No, they wouldn't be right, because even if you fail at least you tried in the first place. If they do try to fault you, they're the ones with the problem.

[grimbiker]

Even if you get someone killed?

[exloserspromise]

...Yeah. Even then.

[Maybe looks a little gutted during the obligatory Bucky flashback.]

[grimbiker]

[Sirius knows enough to recognize the look on Cap's face as close to the one on his own.]

You too?

[exloserspromise]

Hn, yeah. Idiot might as well've been my actual brother, and he died on our second to last mission. I've seen him in... whatever here is, but it doesn't change the fact that I wasn't quite good enough to save him and he isn't going to be there if I ever make it back home.

[He smiles, and it's tired but surprisingly not bitter.] Shit happens. You lose everything. Doesn't mean you give up.

[grimbiker]

[His mouth twitches at those first words, as if keeping himself from wincing. It's all too familiar.]

Yeah, but you didn't... [He falters and looks away.]

I never said anything about giving up. [Maybe if Harry and Remus weren't alive and Pettigrew were dead things would be different. But he still had people to live for and someone to kill.]

[exloserspromise]

I didn't...?

[grimbiker]

Nothing.

[He said nothing. That never happened. Ever.]

[exloserspromise]

[Riiiiight.]

If you say so. [Steve sighs.] Keep your chin up, Princess. Sometimes it hurts to do the right thing, but it all works out eventually.

[grimbiker]

Princess?

[Steve! He thought you were having a moment there! He was almost starting to like you, what with your chiseled abs, square chin and those pecs... Not that he was, you know, thinking about it.]

[exloserspromise]

[Steve ruins moments by breathing.]

Sorry, but you've been "Princess" from the moment you complained about your pictures not being pretty enough. If it helps, I think you're a very noble princess.

[grimbiker]

No one calls me 'princess' you miserable little-

[Well, no one but James and Remus. But he would still give them grief for it.]

[exloserspromise]

[laughs and makes sure he's out of swatting range]