oh so tentative voicetest

[autocratical]

You would serve Doom?

Very well. Should your service be satisfactory, you shall be rewarded. Know, however, that if should you fail, there will be no second chance.

Comments

[autocratical]

[Why is she always touching him? Inexplicable kisses on the cheek, such as it is. Taking his hand like he isn't the destroyer of worlds - Oppenheimer eat your heart out - he likes to melodramatically proclaim himself to be. It's baffling.

But he takes her hand like a proper uncle should - Doom is a gentleman! - and starts off toward the library. It's hard to get an appropriately majestic cape flapping stride going when adjusting his gait to make it easy for a small child to keep up with, but by Doom, he tries.]

What spell would you like to try first?

[smarterthandad]

[Objection! Present Valeria can't be held responsible for her stupid future self's actions.

...Speaking of circumstances in which very smart, questionably moral people refuse to acknowledge they've been outmaneuvered.]

Shielding.

[Val purses her lips. Explosions would be way cooler, not to mention how seethingly jealous Bentley would be, but underneath it all, she's a practical creature.]

I kind of need it. People anticipate technological solutions where I'm concerned, and Mom can't be there constantly.

[Though there have been way, way fewer attempts on her than there were on Franklin. It's as if Doom had been behind most of them. And as if Franklin has been nine years old since the mid-70s.]

[autocratical]

[Doom is behind everythi--Er, well, technically, he's--WHO WANTS A PONY? Or perhaps a portable anti-matter accelerator that also doubles as a transdimensional doorway?]

You wish to duplicate your mother's abilities.

[And people say his obsession with the Fantastic Four is a fruitless waste of time.]

I know a suitable spell. We need only use the blood of two innocents to construct the appropriate talisman. [Wait for it. Waaaait for it. Maybe if he wasn't wearing a mask like a drama school reject, one might catch a glimpse of a smile.] A jest, of course.

[smarterthandad]

[She's gonna give transdimensional doorways a miss for a while, thanks.]

Oh, good. Mom would ground me for life.

[Val's poker face, practiced on Sue, is almost as good as wearing a mask. It is in fact possible that she'd be willing to sacrifice innocents...just not for her own life. She sent Doom to--well, the man's basically unkillable, so let's say "excruciating pain" rather than "his death" for her father's sake.]

Seriously, though, it's a long time between now and whatever inherited powers might start showing up at puberty.

[Do we talk about the Valeria von Doom elephant in the room?

No, we do not.]

[autocratical]

[One man's villain is another man's hero, dear Valeria. All it takes is a certain, possibly insane, perspective. Or to live on Earth 9809, since apparently there's actually one place in the multiverse where Doom isn't a psychotic asshole.

Though it could be worse. Under the mask, he could really be that guy who played Belthazor on the WB's Charmed. Nobody wants that.]

Do you wish for other abilities that emulate those of your family or would you prefer a few that are unique to you?

[smarterthandad]

[The one from Nazi Reed's universe seemed pretty decent, in the five minutes between his introduction and Reed murdering him and cutting out a piece of his brain.

Plus, in alternate universes where he does successfully take over, his monomanical micromanaging tends to turn the planet into a really nice place to live...assuming you don't mind the giant statues of him everywhere and the complete lack of legislative, executive, and judicial oversight.

Regardless, Val thinks Uncle Doom is just great, possibly because he did some magical shit to her head when she was born, because she's usually less dumb than that.]

I want something hard to counter. The specifics and the aesthetics are less important.

[autocratical]

[Doom cuts a very striking figure! Perfect for adorning parks, bridges, roadsides, town squares, every home's front lawn. Imagine the disappointment of all the birds who would find themselves bereft of a place to land and crap.

Were it not unseemly for a dictator to snort, he would be doing so now.]

All magic you would learn at Doom's side is difficult to counter.

[And there are leprechauns at the end of every rainbow just itching to give away pots of gold.]

[smarterthandad]

[Val looks up at him with a long-suffering expression, the one she uses on Franklin and Johnny. His arrogance is interfering with his reasoning again.]

Magic's not a publish-or-perish deal. There's no Proceedings of the International Society of Sorcerers I can subscribe to and teach myself from.

[Being denied data is the actual worst.]

Uncle Doom, I don't usually admit to this kind of thing, but I don't even know where to start.

[Which is not strictly true, but Val's relationship to honesty is an ambiguous one at best, and if this is going to be the Victor von Doom Ego Revue (which it always is), she might as well use it to her advantage.]