Canon is Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves.

[withaspoon]

YOU. YOU THERE.

So you want to be my scribe, do you?

[. . .]

WELL???

Why are you just sitting there? Get this show on the road or I'll have you flogged!

Where are my concubines? Where are my soldiers? Where. Is. My. Bloody CASTLE, WENCH?

Right. I'll need minions and lackeys, so hop to it and line them up for inspection!



And another thing! I want a puppy. And Locksley's head on a platter wouldn't go amiss either.

Comments

[cassie_of_troy]

Well.

Wouldn't you be fun?

[withaspoon]

[Ah, this is more like it.]

Applying for a concubine position? You're hired.

[cassie_of_troy]

You so much as touch me and I'll scratch your eyes out.

[withaspoon]

Feistiness is overrated, you know.

[bunchasavages]

Oh my god.

It's Hans Fucking Gruber.

Well, yippee-kay-ay, motherfucker.

I've got a minion you can borrow, but I'm gonna need him back by Friday. Not a single fucking thing going on and I don't wanna be there when it's not happening.

1/2

[withaspoon]

2/2 already, I need more icons :c

[withaspoon]

Who in the buggering hell are you?

I need an edit button.

[bunchasavages]

Shouldn't you be asking me about the minion? He's the one you're talking about 'inspecting' here.

[AIR QUOTES AIR QUOTES AIR QUOTES]

[withaspoon]

If he's anything like you? I'LL PASS. This isn't a bloody gathering of imbeciles.

[herr_niemand]

Wonderful plan, but I'll one-up you my bearded baron! Now imagine Locksley's head on a plate...for the easy price of $1.99! That's right! Lend me your middle class, your obese, and your hungry cause we got the deals down at Robin Burgers! At these prices, you're robbing the rich to feed yourself!

[withaspoon]

You're a Celt, aren't you? Filthy cannibal.

[herr_niemand]

No I'm not a big fan of football, you?

[withaspoon]

I'm more into torture, personally.

I APOLOGIZE.

[gilderoy]

Sweet Merlin.

What is that on your face?

DOOOON'T <3

[withaspoon]

[He lifts a hand to his cheek, touching the scar self-consciously before a sneer hardens his expression.]

It's a battle wound, you cretin. What does it look like?

♥

[gilderoy]

No, no, not that! Though that is equally unattractive, I must say, and I dare not wonder how you acquired such a mark—

[ohai, invading ur personal space. Gilderoy gingerly grabs George's chin and wrinkles his nose in distaste.]

This poor animal living on your face. You have let yourself go, Severus.

[astounding]

[...]

Concubines, a man's head, and a puppy?

[withaspoon]

Do you have a PROBLEM with THAT?

[astounding]

[Indoor voices! Indoor!]

Oh, no, not in the least. I just thought it a veritably wondrous list of things on the agenda, that is all. Never heard one quite like it before, really.

[goldcrowned]

[She sees that with Cassandra up there. Side-eying you internally, George.]

And what is your rank, sir, that you would be of enough importance to warrant a harem?

[withaspoon]

Shut up and get in the queue.

[goldcrowned]

[Sounds like a few Greeks...]

My, my. Without official orders to back that one up, monsieur, I can't really comply.

[lungissues]

[She doesn't get why she's here. She doesn't understand what her mundane expects of her.

This is ridiculous, but here she is.]

[withaspoon]

[Looks her up and down.] Not bad.

Who are you?

[lungissues]

[...oh dear. Ohhhhh dear. Yes, Satine will need a very thorough word with her mundane after this. She doesn't see the amusement in it in the least.]

Ought not the gentleman introduce himself first, don't you think?