(John Egbert's) Dad (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pipefan413) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2012-03-06 09:11 pm
pipefan413) wrote in dear_mun2012-03-06 09:11 pm
Entry tags:
God, what am I doing? Apparently apping this guy at asgardeventide...
IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO BEGIN PLAYING ME. SUCH AN UNDERTAKING MUST MAKE YOU A TRULY AMBITIOUS AND DETERMINED YOUNG WOMAN. WHILE I AM EXTREMELY FLATTERED BY YOUR APPARENT INTEREST IN MY BEING, I MUST INSIST THAT IT IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE I BE RELEASED FROM YOUR CONTROL AT ONCE AND ALLOWED TO ATTEND TO MY AFFAIRS AS PER USUAL.
I WILL USE FORCE IF NECESSARY.
1/2
2/2
....
Bb. ;; 1/2
[Yes, his son. His son who he hasn't seen in so long, his son who he is so fiercely proud of, his son who is...
[Crying? Oh dear...That simply won't do. What kind of father would he be to allow tears at such a time?]
2/2
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dad i'm so sorry.
[And sobbing. Oh, so much sobbing is happening and you don't even care how lame you might look.]
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[Either way, Dad wastes no time, holding his boy close and rubbing smooth circles on his back. It's never fun, watching your child cry, especially when it almost seems that you had been the one to cause his pain...]
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
[I missed you so much...]
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but it's my fault that you..
[You can't even finish speaking because another pathetic noise rattles its way out of your throat and you grip your dad's shirt so tight your knuckles turn white.]
and then I made this whole post awful
crotcher*
cockrocker*
I only have one huggy icon.
[A few manly, fatherly tears may be pricking in your eyes as well...but you blink them back with the utmost determination to stay strong for him.]
YOU KNOW I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU. WHATEVER IT IS YOU COULD HAVE DONE, I WILL ALWAYS FORGIVE YOU.
I'M SO PROUD OF YOU, SON. IT'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT, JUST CALM DOWN.
I'M HERE NOW.
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[And I've missed you more than you can imagine.]
[You're crying so hard you're starting to do that weird hiccuppy thing, which hasn't happened since you were a little kid. You feel more like a kid now than you have in a long time, and it doesn't bother you one bit because you're with your dad again... and that's all that really matters to you.]
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I AM SO, SO PROUD OF YOU.
[And you can cry as much as you want, for as long as you need...Daddy's here now. Daddy's got you.]
...oh roxy sob
Hi, I'm a huge dipshit.
[What nonsense is this? The poor girl must be confused.]
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY TO SAY, BUT IT SEEMS YOU HAVE MADE SOME SORT OF MISTAKE. THERE IS NO MR. CRICKER HERE, NOR A MR. CROTCHER. ONLY ONE MR. EGBERT.
[As for that last one...Such language had to have been some sort of mistake, right?]
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IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH?
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you just remind me of someone i know
like, REEEEALLALY remind me
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HE MUST BE QUITE THE GENTLEMAN, IN THAT CASE.
[Naturally.]
[And, come to think of it...]
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he seems sweet when hes not groinding her
* grounding
since shes not here i think i am free 2 say hes a total hottie too
but yeah you look just like him
enoguh 2 say that you could be an identicals twin
[no shame this one. she is curious though...]
i do?
who do i remind u of?
[Better be someone awesome!]
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[A 'total hottie', huh? That's...
accuratea little awkward. He'll just...ignore that one, for now. She's just a lass, after all.][As for who you're reminding him of...?]
[Though, Roxy does seem to contrast quite a bit from the Rose he's heard so much about...So, he is fairly certain that he does, in fact, know better.]
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[Just incase you didnt get it the first time]
butthats so weird
are you suuuuuuure ur not mr crocker
did janey get u to play along w some ditictivve mystery game or somthing
*detictive
*detective
bc you srsly look like a clone of him
[Well she certainly isn't going to complain about being compared to a fine woman]
who ois this woman
is it like
a hollywood actress or somerthing i bet it is
*something
and sry but my moms dead so i cant be this womans daughter
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[Oh look, a subject change! Wonderful.]
[Oh, and that...that is maybe not such a wonderful subject change, actually...He wonders if this girl at least has a father to take care of her, what with no mother...]
[Then, as an afterthought, perhaps only to gear away from such a sensitive(?) topic...]
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no worries its all cool. i mean i might get to see her again soooo...
[But wait. Oh no, she knows that name]
wait wait i know of a john egburt he is jnaes grandpopop
*Janes
hey so that means u and crocker-daddy are related after all?
[And he knows of two girls that are friends of John and obviously it couldnt be Rose's mother.]
So this lady is Jades mom?
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[Yes. Just a coincidence.]
[What a charming mistake to make. So naive. Clearly his thirteen year old son could not be anyone's grandfather, that is obviously one huge impossibility, that is.]
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wait WAIT WIAT
HOLD UR PO'S
Rose
rose lalondde
she is my daughter
well actually shes my mom also
[Yuuuuup just gonna leave it like that :|]
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[Okay, yea. He officially has no idea what's even going on here anymore.]
I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, YOUNG LADY, BUT I'M AFRAID YOU'VE LOST ME.
[Was this some sort of...strange, feeble attempt at a prank, perhaps?]
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timea nd universe sburb bullshit
for me rose was my mom befroe she died
but for the rose i know shes onlty 13
*only
and iwas her mom
so the cute lady u knew was... probably me?
[it might have JUST CLICKED]
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[The way this girl looks, talks, acts...She's younger, obviously, but...
[Well, really there's only one way to test this; one last coincidence that could lock it all in place...
[It's also just about all he can think to say.]
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[and then]
wow this is sorta weird huh
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WHILE I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO ENJOY A PRANK OR TWO IN MY TIME, I MUST INSIST THAT IF YOU ARE, IN FACT, TRYING TO PULL MY LEG, YOU STOP AT ONCE.
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i'm not
roxy f'n lalaonde tats me
*thats
u can ask anyone
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THERE IS NO NEED FOR THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE.
[That kind of implied language.
[...And oh god, he is chastising his future/past sort of girlfriend love-interest thing--
[No. Nonono. This is way awkward, way more than a little. What do.]
I SUPPOSE I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO TRUST YOU, IN THAT CASE.
[So awkward. Sososososo awkward.]
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i sdhall refrain from the f'ns from now on
*shall
i dont either
i dont exactly have a wayu of epxlianing all of this
basically comes down to time and universde shaenanigans
*shenanigans
wehre im from you are janes dad ansd johns ur dad!
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STRANGER STILL, JANE JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE MY MOTHER'S NAME. OTHERWISE, I HAVE YET TO MEET ANOTHER ONE.
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i wish theres a better way to explain it but i dont rly get what the fuck is going on either
* oops f word sry
but you are johns dad
and jane is his grandma
and you are janes dad
so i guess that means ur your own granpa?
*grandpa
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THEN I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD MAKE ME MY OWN GRANDFATHER.
[...oh boy.]
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so tell me more abt you knowing my georgous adult self
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[So awkward. Sososososo awkward.]
sob poor dad
a very very good friend?
do u and me get it on?