santaclaws (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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dear_mun2013-12-02 03:20 am
santaclaws) wrote in dear_mun2013-12-02 03:20 am
Entry tags:
IDEK. Canon is Dangan Ronpa [Possible spoilers for both games in comments]
Hello and welcome to the Monokuma Theater Winter Special! Take a seat but make sure to bring it back and hold the applause, you bastards!
[No need to applaud even if you wanted to; some terribly low quality sound effects are providing all the claps this Santa Claws needs.]
Ahem...! My second favourite holiday tradition is sitting on Santa's lap and asking for presents. I never had much chance to do it in my youth because the mall security seemed against the idea of letting a ferociously handsome bear such as myself approach a man with a beard but, you know, they didn't have to protect me that way. Why? Upupu... it's because I'm a bear. It's health and safety gone mad, I tells you.
But in order to live up to my childhood dreams - and because I want to laugh at your greed - come and tell Monokuma what you want him to give you for Christmas. Start an orderly queue, fight tooth and nail to the front or wait around like a shy wallflower!
Our story of my crushed hopes and your chance to sate your lust for possessions concludes today's Monokuma Pantomime!
[No need to applaud even if you wanted to; some terribly low quality sound effects are providing all the claps this Santa Claws needs.]
Ahem...! My second favourite holiday tradition is sitting on Santa's lap and asking for presents. I never had much chance to do it in my youth because the mall security seemed against the idea of letting a ferociously handsome bear such as myself approach a man with a beard but, you know, they didn't have to protect me that way. Why? Upupu... it's because I'm a bear. It's health and safety gone mad, I tells you.
But in order to live up to my childhood dreams - and because I want to laugh at your greed - come and tell Monokuma what you want him to give you for Christmas. Start an orderly queue, fight tooth and nail to the front or wait around like a shy wallflower!
Our story of my crushed hopes and your chance to sate your lust for possessions concludes today's Monokuma Pantomime!
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Santa is a man of his beard and bear d'his word!
[That is a terrible and not even sensical attempt at a French pun, for the record.]
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[give her the goat!!!]
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[But which one??]
It can't be the Soviet Union, though, because someone has their goat constantly.
[Up to date (circa 198x) social commentary with your favourite headmaster.]
It was donated just like you wanted.
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Are you messin' with me?!
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As long as possible, anyway.
Maybe a minute tops?! Or until he senses Akane about to make a move.]
Yes, upupupu!
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[CAN SHE PUNCH MONOKUMA she's gonna punch him.]
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What a naughty brat! Santa should give you what he gives to all the naughty children!
[As soon as she withdraws her fist!]
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Food? It better be food or else I'll tear ya to bits.
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[Monokuma might be expanding slowly. Is he really going to explode?]
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Quit saying weird things and just gimme what I want!
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When Akane can see again she'll notice that she's wearing idk an elf costume??? It's not even fanservicey you are welcome, Akane. Monokuma will be sitting on his seat again which is, suddenly, on the opposite side of the room. Did the whole grotto just get flipped???
Despair magic.]
Upupupup that servile get up suits you!
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... Huh?!
[an eloquent response to an eloquent trick.
no none of it is eloquent at all what the fuck Monkuma.]
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Huuuuh? What's the hold up; get to work, elf!
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What the hell... I ain't working for ya!