Brand spanking new muse, voicetesting so hard

[loveandlanguish]

I must say, dear lady, you've had some messed up character ideas in your day, but this might take the cake. Seriously, I'm considering calling your therapist right now on your behalf, because this is just not healthy.

What, you don't have a therapist? Ah, that'd be your problem there.



Not that I'm trying to change your mind for you or anything, because so far all the ideas you've had about where to send me are brilliant. Lots of people things to do. Mortals to muck about with. A wife to avoid. All my favourite pastimes, really.


All I'm saying is, I'm pretty weird. As far as character ideas go. Not complaining, just putting it out there. Admitting you have a problem is the first step blah blah everything and all that.

Now tell me more about these 'sex games'...



Sincerely,

O. Baron

Comments

[loveandlanguish]

What can I say, I had some time off so I thought... why not grow a beard?

Your mustache would be an excellent starting point if you do choose to make the next phase of commitment.

[just_displaced]

See, that's the thing. I've considered going to the next level with my facial hair, but I've got this friend -- I mean, he's a coworker, but he's kind of a friend too, except we don't really hang out outside of work -- and he's the one with the beard. That's his role. He's the beard guy. So I don't want to infringe on his beard.

[loveandlanguish]

This may be slightly mad, but just going out on a limb here.

There might be... room for more than one beard amongst your immediate group of friends.

[just_displaced]

You wouldn't say that if you'd seen Stan's beard. I mean, maybe it's not as impressive as yours, but he's very... proprietary about it. At least, I'd think he was. I've never asked. I just assumed.

Are you okay with your friends having beards?

[loveandlanguish]

I can't say I've ever thought too long and hard about what my friends do with their facial hair.

[Probably because 'friends' is a bit of a muddy concept to a man with henchmen.]

Again, just putting it out there. You could ask him.

[just_displaced]

Okay. Maybe. I'll consider it. A beard's a big step. Didn't you have to consider it long and hard before you grew one? That's not the kind of thing you just jump into.

[loveandlanguish]

I'm not really of a 'considering' temperament.

[just_displaced]

It does kind of seem like guys with beards are more spontaneous, overall. That's something.

[loveandlanguish]

Does the mustache then convey that you're about 50/50?

[just_displaced]

That's right. The mustache is saying, you know, I'm capable of letting loose and having fun, but I'm also kind of cautious and paranoid. Which seems like a contradiction in terms, I guess.

[loveandlanguish]

You may be presenting to complex a front to the world. People don't like other people who seem like they might take too long to work out, you know.

[Fabulous life advice, as always.]

[just_displaced]

But everyone takes a long time to work out. People who present a simple front to the world're just falsely advertising, aren't they? Those people who seem like they're really easy to get to know? They never really are.

[Or he's doing it wrong. There's that possibility, too.]

[loveandlanguish]

I think we spend time with different sorts of people.


[Oh mortals and your 'complexities' and 'personalities'. So silly.]

[just_displaced]

Who do you spend time with? Not that I'd probably know any of them. I don't really know anyone.

[loveandlanguish]

Oh, you know. Followers. Devotees. People I meet in bars. That sort of thing.

[just_displaced]

Are the followers and devotees usually people you met in bars, too? Are these overlapping categories? Because if so, I can kind of understand it. If not, what're they following about you? Your beard? Do you have beard worshippers?

[loveandlanguish]

[He doesn't even have to think about that one.]

Yes I have beard worshipers and I meet them all in bars.

Sounds a bit dirty, actually, now that I say it aloud.

[just_displaced]

Do you... is there... I mean...

[He doesn't understand. But he thinks he approves.]

It's not dirty, right? It just sounds that way?

[loveandlanguish]

Are you blushing? That really is adorable.

Relax, I'm only screwing you around. The worshipers are unrelated to the magnificence of my facial hair.

[just_displaced]

I'm not blushing. That's an optical illusion. It's just warm in here. I'm naturally kind of pink-hued. Which of those excuses works the best? Go with whichever one does.

So what're the worshippers related to?

[loveandlanguish]

[He just wants to wrap you up and put you in his pocket.]

There's not as much of the worshiping as there used to be. People just don't have the same blind fanatical devotion to their monarchs that they used to.

[just_displaced]

So... whose monarch are you? Is that a rude question?

[loveandlanguish]

I could tell you but from experience I'd except that you won't believe me.

Unless... you're not an elf are you? I'd rule out hobgoblin.

[just_displaced]

I'm not an elf or a hobgoblin, no. I mean, not that I know of. I guess it's possible. I couldn't entirely rule it out. I've been convinced off and on that I'm an alien. Are you the monarch of elves? Or aliens?

[loveandlanguish]

The fairies, and all those whom they rule over.

So mostly all the other guys who're smaller than us. They didn't take much conquering, let me tell you.