dear_mun | Homeless & looking, enable me? // Thewake

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Homeless & looking, enable me? // Thewake

Mun, with all due respect, you're being rash again. And if I have to be the one to say it, that's a bad sign and you know it.

Just because you like to have enough contrast to compare things to isn't a good reason to app me somewhere else. Don't you have other things to do? You don't even know where to go, and every time you think about horror comms you get scared and chicken out.

Yeah, I miss Lu, and I get that you're stuck inside, but maybe you should try another hobby. Have you considered burning things? Just a thought.

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With a guy like you I'm surprised she's not more reckless. But tell her if it's shitty horror comms she's afraid of, just find one with me in it and it will be my honor to protect her.

Yeah? [Arches an eyebrow.] That might be difficult. You'd probably have to protect her through me. [Eyebrow waggle.]

Edited 2013-11-25 06:35 (UTC)

Iyaan~! I'd protect her through any-- [no wait a minute]

I can protect her without a shitty guy in the way. [damnit he'd almost fallen for that, too. Not that Ace is a bad guy--and not nearly as irritating as that Marimo but--]

Unless I can trust you to look after her.

[He laughs gently in spite of himself.]

You really can't trust me to do that. [Both hands up before Sanji kicks him.] Not for lack of trying, she just won't listen to me.

[Puts both hands in his pockets.] Maybe she should just skip horror comms all together. It's not like I want to be tortured or mutilated anymore than necessary to begin with.

Ahh yeah that's troublesome. [he knows how muns can be. He's got no desire to go through that himself. He sighs and lights a cigarette]

She wants to go for Luffy, right? Shitty captain. But it's up to her in the end. You'll just have to trust she can pull you through.

I trust her about as much as can be expected, but I'm not sure how much good I'd do him there.

I've already left him again, so I suppose it's on your heads now.

Anyone can do good to Luffy if they want. [that was the great thing about him in a way. Such an easy going goofball was easy to help out, even if it was by telling shitty amazing stories]

It's not how often you leave but the memories you make when you come back. [kind of fortune cookie wisdom but it was something he believed. On the sea or off, anyone could die at any time. Even they weren't invincible though it seemed so at times. That was why you had to live so hard in between]

[Wry grin and a light affectionate punch to the shoulder.] Okay okay, point taken. When did you get so smart?

It's not that. [shit. Asshole don't complement him] Just shitty advice I picked up somewhere.

I just hope wherever you go is prepared for two of you.

[it's enough just to get food for Luffy]

[Grin~! Okay he'll be good. For now.]

We'll see. That's if she even goes someplace with Luffy. She's feeling unpredictable so she might just do something crazy instead.

What about you, got plans on how to feed Lu or even more Ds?

Not really. It's hard to make plans without knowing the situation first and even then shit changes. You never know when you're going to need a giant rat trap.

[and when he does get somewhere, if he does, that's the first thing he's going to have to consider]

Where are you going to go if not somewhere with Luffy? I hope she isn't planning somewhere alone.

[well he knows Ace seems to travel alone a lot. But there's alone and alone. And it would be a lot harder to deal with in a horror game]

Tell me about it. At least you're a cook, that's always going to be in high demand. [Grinning some more!]

Mah, that's what she's thinking. Usually when she gets like this she just wants to run off and do something ridiculous. I suppose I should count myself lucky that she doesn't think she could stick to my childhood for any serious length of time or I'd find myself ten years old and stuck somewhere like that.

'Course it is. I can afford to be picky. [though he usually isn't. He's also not going to think about 'bitty, Ace, because it'd probably be adorable and he's not sure if he could look the man in the face after that]

That Pokemon place, yeah? Don't worry, though. Wherever you go I'm pretty sure my mun is going to follow one shitty way or another.

There's nothing like a woman's sweet dedication to her friend~~!

[and how else would they be 'dedicated'? Oh to wonder!]

[Sticks his tongue out.] So you'd actually stand up to your mun and be choosey about refusing to go someplace?

[Okay back to grinning. Of course.] How do you feel about dragons? [This is not entirely out of the blue, but it definitely is a little.]

If I had to. [a man had to put his foot down once in a while even if it was gently and with profuse apologies]

Haven't had one but I've heard of several recipes. [mostly mythical of course but who knew? Maybe they'd actually run into a dragon one of the days]

You're so strong.

Eh?? Really? Do they come from Wano Island? [He is so distracted now you don't even know. Also. Dragon meat, yum.]

No idea. Mostly heard them from some shitty pirates who stopped at the Baratie. Who knows if they even knew what they were talking about but the recipes themselves seem legit if I can just get the dragon to go with 'em.

I'll keep my eyes out then.

Unless I find one to tame and make a pet. And then I'm going to keep it.

Sure. We'll just have to find out what it eats.

[though it can probably catch shit by itself but there might be a day when it can't]

As long as you don't collect pets like that idiot collects nakama...

People.

[He just says it so casually. Because what else would a badass pet dragon one should tame in order to fly around on and take over the world eat, right?]

Nah, I'm a love 'em and leave 'em kind of the guy most of the time.

Then it'll have to get through me first.

[after all, it's only fair]

Hoh is that so? You must leave a trail of broken hearts behind you. [if only he were there to pick up the pieces] Maybe I shouldn't forgive you for it, shithead.

You'd beat up my pet? Monster.

[Amused grin, totally challenging.] Oh? And what are you going to do about it?

Damn straight. It's my job to feed people not the other way around.

[as for his other question. Sanji shifts his stance and raises a knee]

I'd kick your ass or go down fighting. [it was a man's pride to risk it all for the heart of a woman]

You'd be feeding him!

Yeah? Arm wrestle, right now. If you defeat me, I'll do whatever you ask. [Pause.] Barring the obvious insults or betrayal to my Pops and crew.

I wouldn't feed him people. [though maybe he could find some shitty substitute]

No can do. Need to keep my arms how they are. Anyway I don't need a shitty chore boy, I have about three of them already and just by themselves they're a pain in the ass.

[Pouting.] And you call yourself a cook.

Hey, I can do things those other idiots can't! [Annnnnnnd Ace just called himself an idiot. Very smooth.]

A cook makes what he wants from what he can and still makes it nutritious. I'll wean your shitty dragon onto things better for him to eat.

[in the sense that people'd be less likely to kill him for it]

Yeah? What are you offering?

[not that he'd give up his idiots for any idiots in the world]

You'll make a vegetarian dragon?! [Ace has to admit, that is super impressive. If weird.]

[And Sanji damn it. Don't look so innocent when asking that, how is Ace supposed to say something terrible and horribly corrupt now?]

[Okay, thumbs in the belt loops.] Let's just say I have far more experience in matters of the world than those three. [Yes good, this applies to everything, because let's be real here, he does, and they are all rookies. Cute rookies, but still, rookies.]

Starting with, how long has it been since you had a night out on the town without having to worry about them or cooking?

Not vegetarian per se. Though that'd be a hell of a challenge. [he wondered if it was even possible]

Tch no doubt. But they're best at washing shitty dishes. [even if Chopper left behind hairs if he didn't dry them thoroughly. The question takes him by surprise]

Too damn long. [had it ever really happened? There was always something to be made] Why? Volunteering a night as shit cook?

You'd have to cook lots of tofu. [Sage nod.]

You can say that, but I watched as Luffy and Usopp broke some and tried to use a mop bucket. [NOD. But hey, maybe Zoro just does three at a time or something.]

Ah? More than just that. I'll cook a giant barbeque, something easy, and then drag you out for a night on the town. What do you say?

Ah maybe, but certain nuts also have a lot of protein. [would it be enough, though? Ultimately it seemed like something he should consult with Chopper about.

He sighs and tries not to think too hard about Ace's words. Don't even remind him of his dishware. They'd gotten a little better at it but that didn't mean they wer ehell on plates and glasses.]

Accepted. [hell it sounded fun and as much as he'd rather go out on his own to patrol for gorgeous princesses needing a handsome golden prince as an escort, he couldn't deny the founder of the feast if he wanted his company]

Yeah? Which ones?

[Offs up his hand for an arm wrestle.] If you win. If I win, we'll still do all that, but it won't be fancy places and I'm not wearing a shirt. [See the sacrifices he'll make for his friends? Shirts.]

A lot of them. I'll make you a list if you're interested.

[he grins at the challenge]

I told you, need my arms where they are, but if you want to wrestle, test your strength against this.

[and he rests his leg against a barrel. It looks weird, maybe. But if he's going to fight with his full strength he's going to fight from where his strength is]

Always. Such things come in handy when you travel as much as I do. The only problem will be not eating them instantly.

[.....]

[Sanji.]

[Sanji.]

[Sanji plz.]

[Okay. Ace is able to keep a mostly straight face, but jfc. That is not easy.]

I think we're going to need to kick something then. How are you at creating craters?

No wait, I have a better idea.

You must be a pro at peeling apples right? First one to peel a dozen flawlessly and slice them perfectly too wins.

[Yup, sure did just steal that idea from Masterchef. Fight me.]

Besides, this way we're putting it all to good use instead of just wasting a perfectly good barrel.

That's a shitty unfair advantage, don't you think? [he can do that in his sleep]

How about a race?

Sure. From where to where?

[he looks around for a suitable ending spot, shielding his eyes from the glare]

Here to that tree. [it looks suitably far away and up an incline besides. Should give them a good shitty workout. He loosens his tie]

Sure you're up for it?

Yup. [Stretches, braces on the ground, and tilts his hat.] I hope you can think of a good recipe for making dust nutritious, because you're going to be eating mine.

[Pause.] That sounded better in my head.

Say when!

Better leave the dust nutrition to me, shithead.

[stretches a bit before getting in his paces]

Go! [and you better be ready because he's off]

[That's okay, Ace has been racing Luffy since the kid started perfecting that slingshot move, he's also off, running like a bat out of hell.]

[Don't think those long legs can save you now!]

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Homeless & looking, enable me? // Thewake

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