He's always, always grumpy.

[photonic]

Please state the nature of the medical-- Oh, it's you.

I suppose you think this is a perfectly acceptable use of my time, don't you? I'll have you know I was in the middle of writing a thesis on Borg assimilation that is going to revolutionize the way Starfleet doctors treat their patients. But no, here I am, expected to put everything aside for the sake of entertaining you.

And while we're on the subject, I don't particularly like being turned on and off at the whims of others. I'm a doctor, not a light switch. Had I known that becoming your muse would involve hours of confinement akin to my days in sickbay before the mobile emitter, I would have refused the invitation. I will not be contained, only to be thrust upon others at your mercy like some hologramatic jack-in-the-box.

Now kindly switch me off, so that I can get back to work.

Comments

[hischair]

You're Kathryn's holographic CMO. [ Holy shit. Look at this tech, it's way beyond anything in the 23rd Century. ] I've heard all about you, you're some kind of genius. Sentient too, right? Damn.

[photonic]

[ Okay so compliments are really the best way to go with the Doctor. He preens. ]

I see my reputation precedes me. [ Hold on a second. A little of the shine comes off, only to be replaced with uncertainty. ] Really? Captain Janeway told you about me? What did she say?

[hischair]

Well, uh. We were discussing our crews and she said you'd be invaluable where we're stuck in a 21st Century nexus right now. I said Doctor McCoy is more than qualified, but obviously we're both kind of ... behind the times.

[ Evidently. Had to see this guy to believe it. ]

[photonic]

Invaluable? Why yes, I would be, come to think of it.

Here's an interesting fact for you: a great number of the subroutines in my program that deal with frontier medicine originate from McCoy's long service. However, I must note that I'm pleased we've moved on from some of the more barbaric practices employed during his time on board the Enterprise.

[ A pause, and the Doctor looks Kirk over deliberately. There's a great deal of unnecessary information in his matrix, but it's hard to study your own history without blundering over Captain Kirk somewhere along the way. ]

Captain Kirk, I presume?

[hischair]

You probably shouldn't tell him your opinion, especially since you're kind of his son if what you say is true.

Yeah, that's me. Do I just call you Doctor, or —?

[curiousasadog]

[Starfleet likes meeting new forms of life, right? Well, here's a hive mind pack of wolves. Five adults and one puppy.]

I can see and hear you, but not smell you. What are you?

[And if the curious looks from all the wolves aren't enough, the puppy is inching forward, aiming to prod the Doctor with its nose.]

[photonic]

[ Between being a piece of the furniture and the first hologram that someone has ever seen, the Doctor will pick the novelty every time. ]

I-- [ He says, proudly. ] --am a hologram. A sophisticated, sentient being made of photons, holomatter and forcefields, with life breathed into him by a complex system of parameters and subroutines.

[ And quite proddable, it turns out, forcefields reacting as though touching fabric, with flesh beneath. ]

And you are?

[curiousasadog]

Oh! You are AI? Amazing! Are you an avatar of a Dataset or a ship?

[Puppy is fascinated at the scentless clothing and keeps poking until a very high-pitched noise from the rest stops it and it rejoins the others.]

Ah, I apologize. That one is- not fully integrated yet. Very curious- [Said with pride.] -but often acts on its own.

I am Scrupilo, Science Advisor to Queen Woodcarver. My species is known as Tines, and until a few years ago, we did not know of any intelligent life beyond our world. We did not even know it was possible to leave our planet!

[directives]

I'm afraid it's not quite that easy with these... muns, Doctor.

[photonic]

Captain. [ Immediately he feels like he should apologize for...that other conversation. ] I can't apologize enough.

[striker_five]

More sentient AI.

[Striker looked at the doctor critically before asking--] Why didn't they build you with hair?

[photonic]

[ Not his sore spot, hdu. ]

Because baldness is a sign of virility, among other things. Why didn't they build you with manners?

[striker_five]

I was built for war. Not for niceties.

[Simple enough.]

And you're a doctor. Interesting use for the technology.

[photonic]

Yes, well I was build to heal people, not perform in a beauty pageant.

[ That's settled, then. ]

I'm sure you meant to say the best use for the technology.

[striker_five]

That would depend upon the environment. You would be useless in the kaiju war.

[Well, that wasn't exactly true. Doctors were always useful - but not in the same way Striker was.]

[captainpike]

[confused and wary look]

...you're...a doctor?

[Maybe a better question was, you're a crew member??]

[photonic]

I am.

[ He might need to be asked the better question, because right now he's considering reading that confusion as a symptom of something and giving Pike a once over with his medical tricorder. ]

[captainpike]

[Other than being sleep deprived and some bruises from the last away mission, he's well enough.]

Doctor, I'm Captain Pike. [Must be a new doctor on board, right? He offers his hand for a handshake.]

[photonic]

[ He does begin the scan after that, though with the caution necessary of treating someone with rank. There's an art to it, scanning without actually getting in the way, which is less necessary a dance to perform when you have the authority to command your patients to sit still. ]

Captain Pike? [ He knows that name, and he takes the hand as the scan is completed. ] I'm the Emergency Medical Hologram. Do you mind if I ask you when you last slept?

[captainpike]

[That wary look is becoming more of a frown.]

Yes, actually, I mind very much. What do you mean, you're a medical hologram? [He knew what holograms were, of course, but didn't have a clue how advanced they had become since his time.]

[joined]

[ wow. this one's certainly chatty and oddly sentient in a very vic-like manner for a mark i. they were retired and replaced with the mark ii, and then the mark iii, before she got out of the academy, though she has memories of interacting with one as jadzia. ]

You're writing a thesis on the Borg?

[photonic]

Was writing, before I was so rudely interrupted. They're an incredibly fascinating subject; one part defined by their programming, one part a marvel of medical science.

You're a Trill.

[ He's genuinely interested. There are no Trill on Voyager, which makes her the first he's ever seen. ]

[joined]

With their heads full of too many voices. [ lineface. she knows how that goes, even if those other voices are all, technically, her own. ] I wouldn't exactly call them a marvel, though. [ dax is indifferent for the most part. horrified by what happened at wolf 359 and almost happened at the battle of sector 001, but she's never had to face the borg. benjamin, on the other hand... ]

That's right. And you're an EMH Mark I.

[photonic]

I am. And as your uniform isn't one I recognize, I can only assume that by your time, the Mark I is good for little more than slave labor.

I assure you, though, that I'm quite qualified to talk about the Borg. Voyager spent some considerable time crossing their territory. Why--one of my closest friends is a Borg.

[ Apart from, you know, the heartache. ]

[joined]

Hold on-- Voyager; isn't that the ship that was lost in the Delta Quadrant?

[ she's a station's counselor, not someone working under admiral paris on the pathfinder project. jadzia had read something on it once, which is the only reason ezri's even aware of the attempt at making contact. otherwise, it's occasional subspace buzz that's drowned out by the importance of war at home. ]

I'd say having a Borg for a friend is the strangest thing I've heard, but I've come across stranger in my lifetimes.