Canon is The Mummy (1999)

[oneofthosefaces]

My dearest mun,

I'll be brief-- but may I just say that this is the best idea that you've had in ages. While I'm more than happy to play my part, I just have one teeny-tiny request before we go about finding some good company or familiar faces.

Let's try to focus on the more attractive company and less of the...mummified variety.

Just a small suggestion. Carry on!

--Jonathan Carnahan

Comments

omg ;;

[onsilksheets]

You hang around with mummies?

:D

[oneofthosefaces]

I wouldn't call it "hanging around", so much as vanquishing.

Mostly single-highhandedly at that.

[onsilksheets]

Single-handedly, yeah? [She takes a moment to look over him.] You don't look like the mummy hunter type.

[oneofthosefaces]

[ He's totally not fazed by this. In fact, he's been given every kind of doubt in the book. Just means he has to give the story a little more spice. ]

Precisely-- they never see it coming.

[onsilksheets]

Ah, so it's a case of misleading them then? [She decides to humour him for a bit and ask more about his dealings with mummies.]

Very clever. How do you vanquish a mummy exactly?

[oneofthosefaces]

Oh, it's a very intricate ritual involving ancient incantations, a couple of books--

[ His sentence trails off...something isn't quite right about this conversation. Ah, yes. He hasn't even offered the lady a proper beverage or gotten a name. ]

Quite a long story actually. Goes very well with drinks, I'm told.

[onsilksheets]

Okay. Where do you propose we get drinks then? I don't see any bars around here.

[She'd like to know about the mummies and the story behind them because this lady here likes curses and history. And drinks too.]

I'm Bela by the way. Bela Talbot. And who are you?

[oneofthosefaces]

You're looking at it the wrong way. The world is practically the oyster for bars!

[ The "prolific" statement is accompanied by a vague, but large gesture of two arms spreading in an arc over his head. He's proud of it at any rate. The recovery is much more reserved, offering up his arm as any gentleman of his era might. ]

Jonathan Carnahan. It's a pleasure Ms. Talbot-- it is Ms., isn't it?"

apologies for the slowness of this (i live in GMT) but this thread is so much fun so thank you

[onsilksheets]

Lovely to meet you, Jonathan. And yes, it is Miss. I'm not married.

[He's probably right about the bar thing, believing that if they turned a corner, they'd surely find one.]

Then I suppose we have a bar hunt on our hands, yeah?

Oh no worries-- I'm hardly speedy myself. But the feeling is def. mutual. :)

[oneofthosefaces]

So it would seem.

[ If there is one thing he has been commended for in his life, sniffing out the nearest watering hole is near the top of that short list. ]

Unmarried then-- how do you spend your time then, Ms. Talbot?

:)

[onsilksheets]

I'm a bit of a treasure hunter, Mr. Carnahan. Haven't gone against mummies but my life is still interesting.

I've always been a free spirit.

[cleo_de_nile]

I resent the implication that mummies are not attractive.

[oneofthosefaces]

Implying that you find them attractive?

[cleo_de_nile]

I _AM_ a mummy, you cretin, as was my father before me. Honestly, normies have no sense of taste whatsoever.

[oneofthosefaces]

Normies?

[ No no. He doesn't care for this mummy business one bit. ]

Ah. You wouldn't happen to be related to an Imhotep by chance, would you?

[cleo_de_nile]

Not even close, and thank goodness. He did so much harm to we monsters and our reputation. All we want to do is live peaceful lives. I live with my father, my sister Nefera, and my seven cats. I go to Monster High and am on the Fearleading squad. I hang out with my friends (who adore me, as they should) and go on dates with my boyfriend, Deuce Gorgon. I want nothing to do with rogue monsters who end up having angry mobs with pitchforks after us.

You didn't see that typo. 8D;

[evy]

Oh, don't be ridiculous, Jonathan. The likelihood of discovering another catastrophically powerful cursed mummy is... is... [She pauses, trying to think of some statistics as she adjusts the glasses on her nose.] Well, it's very, very unlikely. Don't worry so much.

Of course not! Librarians don't make typos. <3

[oneofthosefaces]

Considering my vast experience with certain games of chance and our absolutely wonderful track record...a suggestion isn't going to hurt.

[libraritology]

Very amusing, Jonathan, as always.

[She's terribly bad at hiding her smile, though, despite the slightest hint of sarcasm.]

Your ability to concentrate on details like attractivity...attract- attractiveness? Yes, that. I'm not especially surprised that that's your main focus. Do you think that, perhaps just once, you might branch out a bit beyond the physical pleasures?

Two Evy's! Ah ah ah

[oneofthosefaces]

Absolutely not! At least not until a proper replacement can be found.

[ He's confident that he can get out of this without yet another lecture-- at least he'll give it the old college try. ]

Very unlikely scenario, I might add.

Yes ahhhh Jonathan I have crossed oceans of d_m to thread with you

[libraritology]

Unlikely referring to quitting your bad habits, I presume?

[A pause. She knows very, very well that he's going to try and change the subject, anyway...]

[libraritology]

[...Evelyn might as well indulge him. She's only got one older brother.]

I suppose as long as you're well and not gambling with your life...

[oneofthosefaces]

Evy, have you ever known me to be anything but the embodiment of alive and well?

[libraritology]

...You're practically the embodiment of mischief and incorrigibility, and those tend to coincide with living unreasonably long.

[She'll drop the subject. She's never won this battle before, and she doubts she will this time.]

Speaking of livings, though, is your mun considering sending you someplace?

[oneofthosefaces]

She's a bit up in the air about things at the moment, mostly writing with a good friend for leisure and trinket.

Have you found someplace comfy, then?

[libraritology]

At least you've got your health, haven't you?

[Thank Heaven for that.]

Decently comfortable, I should think. It's a nice house, I suppose, not unlike our estate in Oxfordshire, but it's certainly not Egypt-

[There's the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice at that, because let's face it, very little compares to Cairo.]

-and it would be nice to see you on occasion unrelated to these odd events that happen every so often, here.

In which I am suddenly terribly slow...

[oneofthosefaces]

[ He hears you loud and clear, Evy...more or less. What he actually heard was that he's wanted and there's a place for him to stay! ]

Well, I'm sure there's a few sorry blokes who could use a mentor or--

[ Wait. What was that last part? ]

Sorry, did you say odd events?

I know that feel, bro. I know that feel.

[libraritology]

[Jonathan. Mentoring. Ha. It isn't like he doesn't know archaeology well enough, and he's certainly very skilled at wooing women, but-

But right, we're talking about other things, not her brother's lack of morals.]

Ah- Yes. There are these "events" that happen every couple of weeks, changing the atmosphere or environment of the place. Most seem perfectly benign in some way, shape, or form, but there are a few dangerous ones.

[Life-threatening things, you know the deal. Yet she should mention, being the proud person that she is:]

Not that I can't take care of myself, you know, things just happen.

[oneofthosefaces]

[ Of her welfare he has no doubt. She is in one piece, after all and always seems to make it out as such. He takes full credit for nurturing that talent, by the way. ]

Really, what's a few near-death experiences among new friends.

[ He contemplates this offer carefully, the knuckles of a free hand turned in close to his lips. ]

Alright, give me an example of one of these nasty little incidents.

[libraritology]

[Hey now, just because Jonathan frequently gambles with his life doesn't mean that Evelyn likes to do the same.]

Ah...well, let me see. Not too long ago there was an event where everyone sort of walked about in everyone else's dreams, which was interesting, mind you, but if people stayed too long then it effectively put their lives on the line. I think the point was to escape that one. There have been earthquakes, events where some of the residents of this place suddenly became intent on murdering everyone else...these I've manage to come out of unscathed, fortunately.

[To a physical extent, at least.]

There are tamer incidents where people fall in love with other people, or lose one of the five senses and gain a strengthened one, or forget who they are and are placed in an...alternative world, or something, but they're not all that bad. Some can be rather amusing.

[oneofthosefaces]

Uh huh.

[He's mostly quiet following the detailed report, ultimately considering the benefits, the complications and all the possible entertainment to be reaped. He knows that he can always trust Evy's knack for detail and honesty-- but there is one small thing still on his mind...]

I don't suppose this place would be, ah, historically rich in any sense of the word?

[libraritology]

...what you mean to ask is, is there treasure?

[She knows you a little too well, Jonathan.]

There is, after a fashion. Money is useless, as there's nothing to buy, but you can decorate your room however you please - gilded canopy bed and all. Oh!

[Evelyn just remembered.]

The closets are sorcerous. As in, you can ask them for just about anything and they give it to you.

[oneofthosefaces]

I say.

[ The boyish smile on his face says it all: he's pleased to ask and receive. Especially from something that can't strike him. ]

It has been quite lonesome without you, old mum. I'm sure I can convince my girl to take a peek.

[ ... ]

...There's no shortage of closets, is there?

[libraritology]

[Perhaps Jonathan should stop having such sticky fingers, then, if being punched in the face is becoming a growing problem.]

Please do look into it.

[She laughs.]

And no, there's no shortage. Everyone gets their very own closet. Even reprobates like you.