oh-so-easily enabled

[protomateria]

[ he just stares for a few long seconds, arms folded and expression (what one can see of it) unreadable.

at last, though: ] It's been years. You need to canon-review.

[ another pause, gold-clawed fingertips tapping at his arm, and he sighs. ] .. I'm not father material. But.. he's Lucrecia's son.

[ so.. okay. he couldn't do anything for him the first time around, but.. maybe this time. ]

Comments

[pinnaculum]

I am not a child...

[He glances down at himself, because he can see the lie in his own words.]

I can protect myself. I have been.

[He doesn't need anyone. People only betray you.]

We are? How?

[While he's aware of his older self, his voice and his earnest curiosity are still those of his child self, and he asks this bluntly and gravely.]

[protomateria]

You can. You shouldn't have to.

[ he taps his chest. ] We're both products of Hojo's sadism. We are both-- very different.

[ they've both sinned in the past, though he doesn't need to say that. sephiroth's have been cleared away by the lifestream. ]

[pinnaculum]

I want to.

[It's hard for him to accept assistance, easier to be alone.]

The professor.

[His expression darkens. To him, his time in the lab with Hojo wasn't so long ago. The other memories that returned are jarring additions, not exactly incorporated into his consciousness.]

You were an experiment?

[At home, Vincent hadn't spoken of any of these things, though it was obvious that he had been different. Sephiroth wonders if the others had made that decision together, his former enemies, to keep him in the dark. To keep him complacent.]

[protomateria]

Because that's what you've been taught. .. Your mother may come with me. She wants to meet you.

[ at the question, he offers a small nod. ] I was taken apart. Put back together in the shape of a monster. But the demons are good for something, anyway.

[pinnaculum]

I should be able to operate independently.

[It's a practiced phrase, and there's some slight uncertainty in it.]

I do have a comrade.

[He won't say "friend".]

My mother?

[He stares again. He hadn't known anything about his parents, except that his mother's name was Jenova, which Vincent now tells him isn't true. The idea of meeting his actual mother is difficult to fathom. He knows that the dead can come to the Tower, but he hadn't thought that he would see his mother. Does he want to? Is he eager? He can't say.]

Does she know?

[When Vincent nods, Sephiroth grows even more sober, if that's possible.]

You were at the lab, too.

[So, he understands what it was like.]

It is useful, to be like this.

[He's strong, he knows that. The things that happened made him this strong.]

[protomateria]

No. No one your age should be expected to. If there is anything that you should trust, it is that Hojo is a liar and an evil man. .. He did this to you for his own benefit.

[ a small tilt of his head. ] Do you? What is this comrade's name? [ and then a brief pause. ] .. These are things you'll have to ask her. I don't wish to answer for her.

[ his fingers curl against his knees, head dipping slightly. ]

Useful, and I deserved no better, but that does not mean that what was done to us was right or justified.

[pinnaculum]

I am not the actual child Sephiroth. I am an anomaly. I should not exist.

[He says this calmly, as if the fact that he should not exist is a simple truth.]

I was meant to die.

I know. I do not trust him.

[In fact, he loathes and resents the professor. This mild statement is a testament to his blunted affect, which is still in effect even after his recent revelation.]

His name is Shinji. He is a computer expert.

[He nods.]

I will speak to her, if she comes.

[He has no idea what this "mother" will think of him.]

You did not deserve to be an experiment.

[Knowing what he does about the lab and the tests, he doesn't think anyone deserves that, especially not Mr. Valentine.]

[protomateria]

Whether you 'should' or you 'should not', you do. You exist, so make your existence matter.

[ a small nod at both the mention of hojo and this.. shinji. it's probably a good thing that sephiroth is beginning to form connections with people. it's hard for vincent to judge that sort of thing, given his own.. issues.. but considering his own companions and their interactions with one another, it seems to be a good sign. ]

I see. Having comrades one can call upon when necessary is wise. [ and perhaps eventually sephiroth will be able to call them friends.

at the last, he stills, claws clicking together as he glances down at them. ]

What I deserved was.. complicated. But Hojo's madness filled a role.