dear_mun | Really need to revise an app

Of all the cool people you could make friends with, and you're picking Aradia?

I mean, she's not 8ad. 8ut you could do so much 8etter!

shes pretty legit
we already got all the plans for team curly itll be sweet
n tbf theres only actually two trolls in game
tho id probably make friends with this tavros guy anyway
supposedly hes like my daughters moirail or something
gonna make all sorts of mad friends as a free agent

Rose has a moirail? That's weird.

What's Team Curly?

So you're double-timing me already?
I see how it is.
Can't get enough of the Di-Stri, even though I'm sure there's more than enough of me to go around.

maybe a bit
kind of makes sense with what seems to happen in this game a lot though
combined with all the troll exposure
actually it seems a lot of people could be moirails in amnesia fairy tale land
lots of people keep each other from crossing certain lines and protecting each other
being all non-sexual life partners
huh

were team curly
her horns
my hair
all the curls we got up in this bitch
and were awesome together
so team curly

u know i cant get enough of the di-stri
there could be a million di-stri and id still want more
how can i resist all the versions of those manime shades and coolkidness

A million?
I don't even know how many metric fucktons of me that would be.
Hold on, let me get a calculator.

whats the number conversion for a metric fuckton anyway
is that another way to say metric ton or does the fuck change it up

The fuck means it weighs significantly fucking more than a standard metric ton.
Come on, Rox. You know this.

Anyway, I think a million of me is too many. You only need about a dozen.
We'd take care of you, clean your house, cook dinner, feed the cats.
Then you could dress us all up as cabana boys.
We'd stand next to a pool somewhere, fanning you with palm fronds and bringing you fruity alcoholic drinks with little umbrellas in them.
You'd be getting served like a girl on butler island.

lol
i kno i know just checking the math
gotta do that with math conversions very important
scientific method and all that

oooo mr striders oooo
a million would be too much would be so hard to enjoy the view if they were all close trying to be sexy cabana boy butlers
one change though
gotta make the drinks virgin
gonna have undiluted enjoyment of this amazing island pool service
(plus wagon)

kind of disappointed im gonna be in fucking winter wonderland
that dirk is gonna be all sorts of covered up all the time
no cabana for future knight roxy

Right.
I mean, it isn't going to happen anyway, but we might as well keep the fantasy cohesive with reality for sobriety's sake.

Winter wonderland, huh?
I guess we'd all have to make snowmen and throw snowballs instead.
Better watch out, Roxy.
I throw a mean fastball.

fantasies are slippery slopes
dream wagons are as serious as real wagons
tru facts

yep
all old school winter camelot in this amnesia fairy tale
never got to make a snowman tho
thatd be fun to do
shouldnt be surprised by the fastball prowess
but the question is can u snipe like me ;)

Well, shit.
Guess I'm gonna have to be careful what I dream then.
Wouldn't want to knock over any wagons, real or otherwise.

Camelot? You mean there's a castle?
If it's that old school you should be riding horses.
There better be fucking horses.

I don't do sniping though, that's your gig.
I like to take things head-on.
Gotta give people a good thrashing.

yep
wouldnt want to ruin my dream me streak
i like the number going on up the sign
it gets this cool little ding sound and everythin

hell yeah theres a castle
i even get to live in the castle cuz im gonna be a badass knight
except for some reason i give out all the quests instead of do em
which is weird but w/e
no horses yet tho
except the one unicorn and, according to the scrawny viking informant, the pony statue other dirks team got in their basement

cant argue with a good thrashing
but theres something fun about the bewildered look of the unsuspecting
how could i resist that sort of funny

So there's a castle, you're going to be a knight, and there are no horses.
Fucking figures.
I swear there are some lameass games around here.
I guess I could get behind the unicorn though.
Better than nothing.

So if you're a knight do you get a bunch of cool armor and shit?
How about a lance?
All knights have to have lances, everyone knows that.
Don't know how it's supposed to work if there aren't any horses, but I guess you could ride the unicorn.
Get it all saddled up and gallop off on a quest or something.
Doesn't make sense that you're giving them instead of doing them.
Aren't the King and Queen supposed to do that?
Do you even have a monarch?

the unicorn sounds pretty legit
confusing fucker apparently
but at least hes the nice kind of unicorn whose trying to understand feelings
omg he could be a twilight except its all feeling not just friendship
but yeah no horses kind of sucks
ngl imagining you with a bunch of horses trying to hide those squeals of joy you would totes be doing on the inside is too magnificent for words

thats the sucky part!
i dont even get cool weapons or special weapons or nothing
even worse is im gonna be tumbling in the middle of a goddamn frozen lake in my magic pjs minus the magic
so its gonna be cold as balls until i get to my room
like srsly this should be employee abuse or something
but maybe i could get a lance
i could rock a lance
we do have a bunch of queens though
like a fuckton of queens
only king though is mia
along with all his personal knights save the one kind of macking on his woman

The unicorn is trying to understand feelings?
I don't get what you're saying.
I thought unicorns were magical horses with horns.
The way you're talking about it makes it sounds like it has near-human intelligence or something.

So no weapons, no armor. Just a castle with no horses.
That sound lame.
They're ripping you off, Rox.
You aren't getting any of the awesome medieval shit you're supposed to get supposed to get in a setting like that.
Just a meaningless title and a lot of cold weather.
Not that cold weather is bad.
I could get behind snowball fights and maybe some ice skating, but I bet they don't even have ice skates there, do they?
Probably not.
You would rock a lance though.
Swing that fucker around and skewer people on it like you're getting ready to grill up a shish kabob.
Only not, because that would be gross and cannibalistic.

considering the unicorn is part of the group that is essentially my boss
and sometimes runs these game event dealies to get back these memories and skills
i kind of hope hes got near human intelligence
or actual human intelligence
its all magical and its got a whole backstory and everything

u kno now that i laid it all out
yeah im kind of getting ripped off
i get my own room so i guess thats something
and i get to start with at least one of my skills dont got 2 wait forever
but thats mostly so i can do my job better
fuck maybe i should file a complaint when i get there
like im all for the protecting of these non-knight people and all that
but id at least like proper clothes for the cold as balls weather kthnx
or the fucking ice skates
wait maybe sleds!
the castle is on top of a hill
traveling down evryday with a sled would be swet
bet id look badass on a sled with a lance
skewer all the threatening things as i rocket down the hill
which is less cannibalistic but i dont think i can eat darkness monster
tho it is a void thing
damn now im curious what happens if a void player eats an entity that lives in void
that is probs all sorts of poor decision making

That's news to me.
I guess worse people could be in charge though.
Aren't unicorns supposed to be pure as well as being magical?
At least you don't have to worry about it turning into a crazy dictator or something.

Go file that complaint.
Tell them they can't treat you like that.
What kind of monarchy leaves their people out in the cold without so much as a jacket?
Okay, most of them probably do.
But you're not a peasant, you're a fucking knight.
You deserve all the sweet shit.
Hell yes, sleds would be tight.
You rocket down the hill with your lance while I grab a snowboard and shred some fresh powder.
I'll take my katana out and slice up those darkness monsters.
We'll make a badass monster killing team.
It'd be even more dope if the others were here.
Jake would wear an old fashioned pair of skis and slide down the slope like a tool.
Jane could ride with you on the sled, or maybe we could get her a snowmobile.
Watch her shred that shit better than any of us.

that they r
unsure how pure this thing is supposed to be but its hella naive so mb thats pure
he really likes pure maidens and such
makes friends with em and everything
not a bad boss at all

monarchies can be pretty shitty
but we are pretty much free labor as is
we used to get hella cool stuff then camelot was all fu to the knights
cuz its all hard and now knights have to work harder even tho we supposedly get shafted enough
viking boy doesnt even know if clothes have shit all to do with the magical team connection dealie non-knights get
its bullshit we cant even get shoved into a jacket
its a cryin shame i cant get like friendship tackles or something without freezing my arms
awwwww yeah
wed totes be badass
and jake is actually there!
youve (other u???) been there for like months and jake is mb a few weeks
(viking boy is on ur team thats where the crossing cr thing comes in the mun is all flaily about but he doesnt HAVE to interact with jake)
a whole bunch from our universes all over the place there
no jane yet tho ):
its sad
she might still come its like our universe comes in every couple of weeks/months with someone
gonna hope real hard!
i wanna see her be badass on a snowmobile
kicking ass and taking names and using that spoon fork for skewering
always the best at skewering

That sounds like a unicorn all right, making friends with maidens and all.
How about you, Roxy? Are you friends with it yet?
It seems like it'd be the thing to do, making friends with your dope ass unicorn boss.

What kinds of cool stuff did you used to get?
And why did they change it?
Wait, scratch the last question.
We've already established that these guys are assholes.
Maybe you should petition for a uniform change.

Good, I'm glad you got a few of us over there.
I'd say that we'd look out for you, but it's more likely that you'll be the one saving our asses left and right.
You know the kinds of shenanigans we get up to.
I'm sure Jane will be there eventually.
It'd be unbalanced without her.
The resulting instability would collapse on itself and create a black hole that she'd get sucked into anyway.
Can't resist our gravitational pull.

Do youuuuuuuu have a moirail?

And what did you two do? "8eing awesome together" is kind of vague!

nothin official
like i know what my mun paleships hardcore
and considering the environment we grew up in it wouldnt be that hard to believe we adopted that quadrant
pretty sure those who grow up in horrible water world together stay together
but we havent exchanged diamonds in any official capacity

we did all sorts of shit
sure it was in musebox land so some stuff happened cuz it was test run
but we totes technically ninjad past everyone
running around exploring ruins
rolling with the sudden amnesia like fucking winners
like srsly it didnt slow us down at all
none of this wandering round in a daze all 'whoa what the fuck how did this happen'
and no flipping off any handles
just going whatevs and took charge of destiny
managed to play ding dong ditch on everyone
discovered hot chocolate which was fucking glorious
then made a huge badass fort that took up half of a concert hall like dealie
made out of benches and fur skin rugs

Who is it! Anyone I might know?

.........

[Vriska wants to do all of that; man that sounds awesome]

That doesn't sound completely lame, I guess.

not in the game yet
even if the revised app gets accepted, I still have at least one person in line before me
theres a capacity limit so i could be in next week or in like a month
depends on what happens with other knights about
and i will totes make friends with my bosses and especially unicorns
teach him all about friendship and all that
too bad im not a maid that would be insta friendship

knights got all sorts of free shit
the mun thinks they only get free clothes now
AFTER they get to the fucking castle
but theyd get a bunch of food and supplies and pretty much a free department store dealie
i think specific stuff was hard but they had all the generic stuff
but then fucking camelot made it all harder or something
tbf its supposedly the darkness thingy being a dick
mostly
jacket is still dick move
maybe i will
not so sure a mask is good knight protector wear

course ill be watching you 2
that is literally my job
u and jake are supposed to be the heroes who do the big darkness ass kicking
or something
and as a knight i go and make sure u dont all die while doing that
and mb keep the two big ladies in charge of the whole defense/offense/kind-of-imprisoning-trapping-the-big-bad from biting it
in perf position to watch u 2 tho so is cool
and jane will totes show up
i am not kidding about the place drawing in our universe
'sides jane and jakes grandma (and me for the moment) and janes dad all the humans are there
and a whole bunch of trolls
even if theyre not in the main place theyre dicking around SOMEWHERE
its like aather is all 'yeah ur lifes suck and it kind of sucks here but it sucks less so come on down'
temp amnesia only admission required

Really need to revise an app

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