homeless & looking (canon is attack on titan)

[shortcutter]

Oh, a fucking comedian. And you sat there wracking your brain for so damn long before you thought of a name. It just goes to show, because any brainless maggot could come up with something for you. worthlessfilth probably isn't taken, but irredeemablypathetic or utter_swine might be better.

One last thing: maybe it suits a pig like you to live in squalor, but your room has been disgusting for months. Clean it, and at least then you'll have one tiny shred of dignity to cling to.

Comments

[painpaingoaway]

E-excuse me for interrupting, b-but I'm sure it's not your muns fault!

I-if you want I can clean the room, i-if that is okay? I promise I will clean it well!

[shortcutter]

No. This shitstain doesn't need to be spoiled more than he already is.

[painpaingoaway]

O-oh, then do you want me to do something else? I can do anything as long as it doesn't mean I die! I- I'll even strip or you can draw on me! L-look, I'm sure there's a pen here somewhere--

[shortcutter]

Oi. You need to shut up and calm down. I'm not going to hurt you.

[painpaingoaway]

Y--yes! S-shutting up now, i-if you want I can even sew my mouth closed so that this nonsense I spew will never leave my disgusting mouth again!

[shortcutter]

[Eesh. Dealing with titans is so much easier than this. He switches over to a more authoritative voice, even though he doubts it will help much.]

Shutting up was just the first part. I told you to calm down. Just stop for a second and take a damn breath.

[painpaingoaway]

A-ah I messed up again, I'm soooorry! Are you going to punish me now?

[Deep breath, deep breath and then--]

Y-yes, calm you want me to to be calm, okay I- I can do that! Just please don't hate me!

[notmonsters]

Don't know who you are, but my mun just snorted and started choking at your username.

[Hulk's not a titan, please don't slice him.]

[shortcutter]

[No worries, big guy. Levi pauses to raise an eyebrow, but the blades stay sheathed. He's all injured and stuff in canon anyway.]

What the hell are you supposed to be? A green three meter class? [He snorts.] How rare. Back home you could be a damn collector's item.

[Yeah. There's rude and then there's Levi.]

[notmonsters]

[Three meters is actually pretty close to his height...but thankfully, Hulk doesn't eat people. ...well, THIS Hulk doesn't eat people.]

Well aren't you just peachy?

I ain't nobodies' "collector's item", pal.

I'm the Hulk.

[He says that like it's actually supposed to mean something to Levi.]

[shortcutter]

Is that the name your parents gave you? Were you a big, green lummox even when they pulled you from the womb? Or maybe you ripped your way out.

[Oh. He's kind of asking for it now.]

[notmonsters]

[Oh no you didn't. Hulk has gotten a really good control over his rage, but there are some buttons you don't just push.

...unless you're Levi, apparently. Hulk snarls and gets up in Levi's face, hands clenched and trembling.]

You wanna try saying that again, runt?

[shortcutter]

["Unless you're Levi." That could be like a thing.

The Corporal stands his ground and keeps a straight face as Hulk makes his advance.]

It was a question. Did you turn big, green and ugly, or were you born that way? If it's too hard on your delicate feelings, then don't answer.

[He isn't actually trying to provoke him, but if push does come to shove, then Levi is ready to scoot out of the way of those fists. He can still move pretty fast, despite being hobbled.]

LEVVIIIIIIII

[greatrage]

Ahhh... Corporal, it's not really... a great idea to insult your mun like that.

ERENNNNNNNNN yay

[shortcutter]

Relax. He knows I'm only telling it like it is.

You can't tell me that you've submitted to yours.

you should come to Ruby City we are in need of a Levi heichou

[greatrage]

[he sputters. He hates to admit when he's given up, but even Eren Jaeger has his limits.] She... she made me wear a dress! A frilly maid dress! I'm not dumb enough to mess with that!

i think i might, that cast looks ballin'

[shortcutter]

[Hm. Does Levi look disappointed? Hard to say.]

A dress?

[He pauses.]

If I ordered it, would you put on a frilly maid's dress?

[This is totally a test, Eren. Don't fail.]

it is pretty friggin awesome >3<

[greatrage]

[He ALWAYS looks disappointed. Eren has given up trying to read that perfect poker face]

[Eren stands up VERY STRAIGHT and blushes hard when Levi asks. Then he sort of shrinks back into himself and taps the ends of his fingers together]

Ah... well... you ARE my commanding officer, so... I would? Th-though I'd hope you wouldn't do that to me! I mean, it's hard to actually get any work done in a dress and heels.

that face sells it A++

[shortcutter]

[Levi gives a slight tilt of the head.]

Not the worst answer. But if I ever gave you a creepy, pointless order like that, I hope you'd question it. Eren… I don't want your blind devotion. Leaders who aren't challenged get complacent. They start to think their judgements are infallible.

Every soldier is his own man, and following an order is making a choice. Commanders who forget simple things like that are the ones who end up with a knife in their backs.

[petora]

Um...

[ she isn't sure what to say. you could say she's quite petrafied. except she isn't. this is normal for him after all. ]

[shortcutter]

Petra.

[There's some visible surprise on his face, but only for a flash. The image in his head disappears less quickly. To his dying day, he'll probably never forget how her body looked when he'd discovered it at the base of that giant tree. Levi isn't haunted by it, as another man might be, but it seems to be a permanent fixture all the same.]

Do I have something on my face?

[petora]

[ you should be grateful, levi, that her mun didn't pick any usernames that had to do with her death. treehugger would have been a nice one. it looks like he's noticed that she's been staring at him. raising her hands and waving them, petra shook her head. ]

Nope! I was just a little surprised, that's all.

[shortcutter]

[His mun would have totally gone for a name like that, because what an asshole.]

So was I. But you're not a shitty sight for sore eyes.

[Nice compliment??]

[petora]

[ there's a small, weak laugh there because she isn't sure how to take that. but it's probably best not to think about it. ]

Thanks, I guess.

[shortcutter]

[Aw. But he really is pleased to see her -- alive, even.]

You guess. [There's a twitch of a smile on his lips.]

How are you?