canon is welcome to night vale u3u

[accede]

You're getting really obsessive for someone who's not even sure if my canon is viable to apply from. Not to mention, you have two other scientists you could have played, and you pick me? I guess there's no talking you out of it, but I'm warning you that you shouldn't get your hopes up.

Comments

[claudiometer]

[Maybe you should, Carlos! Unless you'd be embarrassed by how much Cecil talks about you.]

Eh, not a place as such. We collect weird stuff, but it doesn't generally act up once we have it. Usually. At the very least, we have containment measures on hand.

...Yeah, my mun thinks 'jamjar' is non-Milliways-player-ese for 'you're stuck here, buster.' I guess if you don't think of the place as home it might work, but - I can't, so much. My job is my home, and sooner or later people would come looking for me.

[accede]

[He totally would, and immediately regret even knowing that he's a topic of conversation.]

You mean like paranormal artifacts, right? If I was sure they'd still operate outside of Night Vale, I'd have some things to donate, but I have a feeling that if they left the circumference of Night Vale, they'd stop being so ... strange.

I sort of understand. Although I haven't found that sort of thing, I can see why you wouldn't be able to give it up.

[claudiometer]

Exactly like. [Claudia grins.] Only the best job ever, and no doubt Joshua will babble at you about 'em when his mun's no longer asleep. He's the scientist, I let him do the rigorous testing. Why do you think they'd stop being weird outside the city limits, though?

That and my brother spent over a decade stuck in an interdimensional space. It's... a bit of a thing. [Shruuuug.] The couple of times I've been stuck in my game I didn't like it much at all, but then again, one of those I thought someone was screwing with my brain, one of them I had an in-game sentient music plague, and the other one was the 'screw you, LJ, we're moving' apocalypse...

Not exactly things that leave you inclined to sit back and enjoy the experience.

[accede]

The things that happen in Night Vale... just seem very specific to it's location. Things just work differently there. A clock is a clock everywhere else in the world, but not in Night Vale. It can't be that it's just a big collection of supernatural stuff that happens to be all in one place.

...Over a decade of that? How... is that how long these sort of things last?

[claudiometer]

No, that was special circumstances. He teleported himself into the space but didn't have the instructions to get back out again. If I hadn't been ten when he went in it might've been less time before I busted him out, but as it was.

[And uuup goes an eyebrow.] Huh. That's interesting. And definitely not Artifacty. They do shit wherever someone manages to set 'em off.

[Note to self, never tell Artie. He'd insist on finding a way to put the entire town in the Warehouse.]

[accede]

No, not "artifacty" really. It just seems so inherent. It's... really beautiful, in a way. And completely terrifying in another.

[claudiometer]

I bet. At least our stuff has some rules.

[accede]

Like what?

[claudiometer]

Most of it you at least have to pick up before it whammies you. And there re ways to make it stop.

[accede]

That's a lot more convenient than trying to cover your mouth to prevent yourself from screaming until you're hoarse as you hide underneath your desk and wait for it to pass.

[Is his personal experience showing.]

[claudiometer]

...Yeah, that doesn't sound like much fun. My sympathies.

Actually it sounds about on order with Sylvia Plath's soul-sucking typewriter, but there's a reason we have that on high-security lockdown...

[accede]

It's alright, that only happens about once a month. Twice if there's a Holiday.

Soul-sucking typewriter? Is that a literal name, or just a very creative one?

[claudiometer]

It's... pretty much what it does. You stop giving a fuck about anything. Pete was going gray around the edges by the time Myka knocked him out of its sphere of influence. [There was a reason she recommended against the shortcut through the Dark Vault, but it all worked out in the end.]

What, scheduled anxiety attacks? Jeez. That sounds inconvenient.

[accede]

I can't say I wouldn't like seeing that sort of thing in use...

[Because it sounds neat.]

But it also sounds dangerous, so.

And no, the anxiety attacks aren't scheduled, they kind of just happen. Frequently. I think some of them are actually from the Feeling Service, so I'm not actually supposed to be experiencing them, but there's no real way of stopping their deliveries of emotions. I've definitely had "This deadline is way too soon, and I'm nowhere near done" and "I'm miles away from my house, but I'm certain I've left the stove on."

[claudiometer]

Trust me, it wasn't that interesting to watch. We have stuff with flashier effects.

[Claudia's just... going to try to process that idea for a minute.] Okay, I know there's having feels, but that's... I don't even know what that is.

[accede]

Flashier isn't always more interesting.

I'm not entirely sure either, really.

[claudiometer]

Well, if you've lived through it and you don't know, I don't feel so bad.

[Claudia shrugs.] True, but it's at least safer to demonstrate, sometimes. Such as!

[She pulls a snowglobe out of her tool belt and shakes it over her free hand, which fills up with snow.]

That's one of the safer things we have. Unless you try to use it to cool off and then you might get frostbite, but it's great for re-chilling drinks in a pinch.

[accede]

... It makes snow? Just out of thin air?

[claudiometer]

Possibly out of the snowglobe. Joshua hasn't really poked at this one yet, but I'm sure he'll get to it eventually.

[accede]

Can I try?

[claudiometer]

Sure. [She passes it over.] Just give it a good shake like you were stirring up the snow inside.

[accede]

[And he does so, snow falling into the palm of his hand like it did with Claudia.]

Wow. It even feels like it should. I haven't seen snow in over a year...

[claudiometer]

Desert, huh? My sympathies. Then again, snow can get really annoying if you get too much in one glop.

[accede]

At least if it gets in your clothes, it melts. The same can't be said for sand.

[claudiometer]

Thiiiiis is true. Sand just gets uncomfortable.