dear_mun | (games, huffhuff. jake's straining the leash.)

Now im not about to upchuck at the mere mention of certain sockdollagers youve dumped in my lap as of late but we must have words!
Firstly i feel its necessary to remind you im not some riffraff palooka who cant hold his weight in a scrum. As much of a boondoggle as the situation was with the blasted wrestlebot its a relief to see youre on the level about enjoying my company for what it is.
I was something of a solicitous sheila about the subject with you and gosh darned it wrung out my proverbial kerchief several times imagining you and i were at odds!
We are quite the partners in crime my dear girl. Let us never entertain the notion of bum rushing each other again.
You are frightfully accommodating after all so thank you indubitably.

Onward to fresher topics though...!
The thing with jane is...
Complicated. Shes such an upstanding gal and really knows her onions about what she wants in life that i should think id be a waffle brained moonshiner not to appreciate her as she is.
A bully friend and sweet as the dickens dame!

*Punches the air in a triumphant nod to this sweetheart.*

Knowing she will always be the stepping stone to my happiness really does enthuse me to encourage my placement in a game where i can enjoy some quality time with both her and the ever vivacious miss lalonde.
If my best bro could also be there then i think all would not only be the cats whiskers but also the saucy beasts meow!
Now if everyone could direct their attention away from my humdinger of a chassis we can all get on with having top notch adventures.
I should be chuffed to tote my guns along for the ride too.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I have to wonder what future you must think of current you. I like to think he partially cringes and partially laughs at your naivety.

What in the seven danged hells are you blabbering about???
Come on now you know it would be thrilling to get to stretch our legs!
Its so fucking boring rolling out in the buff of existence i want to don some shenanigans!
Also to kick your deserving arse in person and show you what doesnt qualify as a novice category.

Nothing too important.
Thrilling as kicking your ass will undoubtedly be, don't you think we have more pressing matters to take care of firts? Winning, for example?
I'll be happy to hand your backside to you on a silver platter when victory's plush rump is within our firm, unrelenting grip.

But if we manage to wangle going somewhere else then wouldnt that replace the game giving everyone such botherations?
Roxy does seem tremendously put out by it and i should hate for anything to upset her beyond the pale.
Jane is all fired up to go and in the best buds zone so i know shes preparing up to the nines for whatever lurks on the horizon.
But if we could just...
Whisk away somewhere altogether. Id like that.

Roxy's coming around, however slowly.
The fact of the matter is that we don't have much choice but to play this game, as far as I can see.

When we win, we can chill like we've always wanted too. Just the four us, for a little while.
Time and Space can wait five minutes for four best friends to have a deeply unironic group hug.

If we take the tangent my mundane suggests then we could venture somewhere else.
Im thrumming to start the game dont get me wrong!
I dont think its a bad idea to go to another world with the opportunity of innumerable adventures for the taking.
Imagine what we could do!

I can see where that one track mind of yours is going, English.
I would advise against it, but I know the persistence of both our mundanes and yourself is something akin to a boulder in a fucking school yard with tiny children trying to shift it.
You could be dropped off in a barren wasteland and I'm sure you'd find adventure out of it.
Is there a particular destination in mind for this hapless venture of yours?

Im completely out of the fucking loop but willing to keep an open mind!
As with most things...
To be perfectly frank im not particularly choosy as long as everything turns up copacetic.
*Thumps his bro companionably on the arm!*

Like I said.
For the record, in my mind I am likening you, in my mind, to a piglet in a excrement.

It's not as though your choices are limited, at the very least.

You have the most ignoble way of putting shit sometimes strider.
If you really dont approve then you neednt bloody well follow me anywhere. I do understand if youd rather hole up with your robots instead of run about in less than savory terrains with me.
Its not to everyones taste all that muck and getting scraped up.
Why should they only be my choices??

What I'm seeing is "please Strider, come with me and hold my hand in yours and make sure everything is okay abloo bloo bloo."
If I'm honest, I am the perfect picture of difference on this matter, really. You're just so easy to fuck with, sometimes.
I am making the conscious, noble choice to tenderly hold your hand through this new adventure. If you play nice I'll even carry you over the threshold.

Do you know i didnt get all those silly references and for a while they made me absolutely the most awkward bean ever to hop out of the bag on hot coals.
I suppose i had better make the similarly conscious decision to allow all that dapper tender hand holding to take place...
*Loosens collar and wafts heated cheeks.*
If you ever happen to mean it that way in the future of course.
That is something that could possibly happen!

I haven't the faintest idea why you would think I'd change my mind in the future.
Finally you get it. I was beginning to think you were a lost cause to the Strider ironies.

I had my suspicions for a while! Nothing concrete...
You arent exactly the most subtle of people when it boils down to come ons.

Hahaha.

Wait, excuse me?

Roughhousing is the way to my heart and you can be so aggressive that it piques my interest which i took to be intentional.
There are a lot of other ways to win me over such as a slapup meal cooked by someone even half as talented in the kitchen as our janey but you never asked me out to dinner because of the distance thing. Maybe also because youre a fucking terrible chef!
Rotten as it is i may have said no for a while...
Do you remember when we chewed each other out for hours years ago and i said i would likely date you if you were a lass???

Of course.
Are you non-subtly implying that you want me to woo you with a home cooked meal of some sort?
Is this a thing that is actually happening?

No!!!
Good heavens to betsy no im not.
What i am getting at is that...
I like you just as you are.

Thanks.
I think.

You only think???
Have i fudged this up...

You lost me between dinner dates and "I'm glad you don't have tits".
Not an easy feat, credit where it's due.

Oh for fucks sake.
This is absolute shitknickers in terms of going where i hoped it would go so kindly bear with me.
I dont much mind youre not a girl is what im saying.
Ive had to give some thought to dating all of my friends which makes me feel like my attention to detail is a terrible flivver on such topics.
I do adore roxy but i dont think im quite her type?? And dearest jane left me sort of relieved when she embanked me firmly in the friendship zone.
The only factor that bothers me is that i could lose my best bro...
That proves a whopping big gatecrasher to the speakeasy in my head prompting me to be the one to ask you out on a date after all this is done and dusted.
I dont think i can lose you dirk.

Oh.
This feels a bit backwards.
I.
Really?

What do you mean backwards?

Shit. Is this...
Ive just royally fucked up havent i. You werent wooing me at all.

No, that's not it, you insufferable, hedonistic idiot.
I was.
Kind of?
You've just thrown all my careful maybe-planning out of the loop completely.
It was going to be Hollywoodesque bravado as a homage to my big bro as a final gesture.

I wasn't entirely expecting a yes.

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(games, huffhuff. jake's straining the leash.)

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