muse is not happy with mun's thoughts

[dimeliora]

...Why would being useful in Nautilus mean taking up my old other job again, exactly?

I think everyone who saw it got it the first time around that I'm pretty much the worst goddamn warden who ever wardened there, Wilde.

I get that I'm asking a tall order of Tolkien-esque proportions here, because my god I can only imagine what a thought endures trekking that much empty territory. Especially when its bitter, dying lament only echoes in futility along the confines of the planet's thickest skull. But nevertheless, I have to entrust this task to you here, Pippin, so listen carefully:

Fucking think before you type, would you?

Apparently I was late to throw your "You Are an Ass Party", but I guess you don't mind that it won't be a surprise. I'll get right to it.

Hope you like vanilla store-bought cake and shitty otamatone bands. Because that's what you're getting, kid. That's all you're getting.

Congratulations on that whole being an ass thing, by the way.

Comments

[dj_mort]

Isn't that always the case for muns?

By the way, sorry mine joined in. Can't say I'm surprised, though.

[dimeliora]

Hm? Oh, sorry, I guess I couldn't hear you for a sec, what with the... reeling in absolute shock, and all.

[I'm wounded, Irene. :'( really.]

It's not a problem, I guess. I just... wouldn't wanna take that job up again in case someone got the wrong idea.

[dj_mort]

If it counts for anything I hope you don't either, all things considered...

[dimeliora]

If it makes you feel any better, if I do somehow in some freak bizarre twist end up taking the job, I'd just fill the cells with these things.

Before you ask, no, they never stop.

Ever.

And I think I like that whole Month Inside, Hour Outside mechanic the jail seems to have going on.

[dj_mort]

You are one sick puppy, Irene. [He chuckles.]

[dimeliora]

Hey, what's sitting in a cell gonna teach them, besides absolutely nothing? And considering that the only real universal laws in Nautilus are "don't kill" and "don't try to take over the city for nefarious purposes"? I think ending up in jail says a lot about your character.

Mainly, how you deserve however many of those things I manage to Bend inside your cell.

[dj_mort]

I can't really argue with that, honestly. But I don't think you'll be seeing me there anytime soon!

[dimeliora]

See? I've already got one of you scared straight!

Checkmate, ethicists.

[dj_mort]

Aw man, I kinda like swinging both ways. [Quit while you're ahead, Lucas.]

[dimeliora]

Do you like imagining otamatones at roughly a hundred decibels, by any chance?

[dj_mort]

Ireneeee, you're so cruel to me. Whyyy? [Trying to pout but NOPE can't hide that obnoxious smirk.]

[dimeliora]

You just make it too enjoyable for your own good.

Plus I'm still pissed at the fire in the station wagon.

[But she's smiling as she says it, so she can't be THAT mad.]

[dj_mort]

[He just busts out laughing.]

That wasn't my fault I swear!

[dimeliora]

Uh huh, I'm totally sure.

You're going to jail, kid. Say good bye to the wife and kids, because they're sure as hell not gonna visit with otamatones playing their personal cover of Journey in your cell.

[dj_mort]

[Sob. IRENE YOU SO MEAN.]

I was framed I tell ya! FRAMED! I'm being repressed!

[dimeliora]

Uh huh, tell it to the judge, that's what they all say.

Now turn around so I can plant some coke in your pocket - er, I mean cuff ya.