new muse | canon is DRAMAtical murder | possible re:connect spoilers

[unscrappable]

While I'm not the type to complain normally, I feel like I should protest for being dragged away from work. And Aoba-san, of course. It wouldn't do to leave him with Trip the entire time. Who knows what that guy would do to him.

...... Although. I guess if I found somewhere interesting to go, it might be forgivable.

Comments

[hairnerves]

Ah. Virus?

...What are you talking about, leaving me with Trip...? *He has a weird feeling about this....*

{But oh my god, Trip and Virus make me squee so much. <3. Edited again, just got that ending. Oh my~~!}}

[unscrappable]

It's nothing to worry too much about, if you don't know what I'm talking about. [He smiles.]

((ooc| Hehe they're really little devils, aren't they?))

[hairnerves]

Huh...

*It somehow seems oddly important, and strange, but his gut tells him not to ask.*

So, why has your mun separated you from Trip? *While they aren't twins, it's really weird seeing only Virus. As far as he can recall, he's really only ever seen them together.*

{Yes! I love it! :D I had a liiittle idea because before I got the game, I checked the cgs first to make sure I'd like what I was getting into (And I was still surprised by some things!) XD Anyway, forgive me if Aoba doesn't sound quite right. I'm still trying to wriggle properly into his head.}}

[unscrappable]

She said he just couldn't be bothered to be around. It seems that for her one of us is enough to handle at a time.

((ooc| Yeah I had seen some art and CGs before I started playing, too. And it's fine, I'm still working on the same thing with Virus.))

[hairnerves]

...I see.

*It's like his mun and, well, Aoba doesn't have Ren here. Similar reasons.

*In any case, his expression finally softens.* So, any plans while you're without your twin~? *Just teasing~*

{<3~ Then we can practice together if you'd like~. Well, beyond here, if how I write doesn't bother you. :3}}

[unscrappable]

... We're not twins. [It's a reflexive response for him by now, since almost everyone makes the comment at some point in time.]

But as long as I find something fun I don't mind what happens.

((ooc| sure, once I get a better handle on things and reread some more parts haha!))

[hairnerves]

...I'm teasing you. *Shut up he thinks it's cute hilarious.*

But that's a pretty lax way of doing things.... *Because meanwhile she has a thread in his journal as if "what if Ryuuhou tattooed him in Koujaku's route" and that's pretty messed up and causing bleeding feels everywhere annnnd... let's not think about that.*

You know, I don't think I ever did get your definition of "fun", come to think of it.

{Yay! I also, er, saw those icons of yours. Hee. :///3 }}

[unscrappable]

Lax? Maybe. But there's necessarily anything wrong with it when there's nothing better to do, don't you think?

My definition? [His smile broadens ever so slightly, although as usual it's impossible to tell what he's thinking.] You know what my definition is, even if you don't remember it completely... You used to like the same kind of fun.

[ooc| There are sooo many pictures of Virus and Trip that it's hard to narrow down just a few for icons xD))

[hairnerves]

*Aoba just... stares at him. He 'liked the same kind of fun'? Did he mean...?

*...the "other self"?*

...

*Nah, couldn't be. He sighs and shakes his head.* Fine, then don't tell me. *Did someone order a touch of tsun with that usual dere?*

{I'll bet! I have the CG pack, and the face/sprite sets, if you'd like me to make a few for you? (Like the ones I have of Aoba with a transparent background.) I also have the Re:Connect cg pack as well (or at least... most of it.)}}

[unscrappable]

It's not healthy to always reject the past, Aoba-san. We've told you before that if you ever felt like letting go again that you can come to us.

((ooc| Actually I have both of those packs! xD))

[hairnerves]

*As awkward as it is, there is a point to that. And sometimes it's been tempting. But.. no, he wants to leave that part of him behind. If he could never use Scrap again, and just be normal, he'd be happy.

*...But that'll never happen. He was dealt a hand different than any other human.

*Aoba just averts his gaze, contemplating the topic at hand.*

...Even though I don't remember... *He trails off, glancing at Virus, and then away again.* ...Never mind.

{Oh! Well then. c: }}

[unscrappable]

[He tilts his head a little, eyebrows raised slightly.] No, please go on. What were you thinking?

[hairnerves]

*Aoba remains hesitant to speak on the matter, only glancing back at Virus long enough to register the man's expression.*

...And if I don't want to "let go" for "that"? Never again?

*A beat.*

Is it okay to continue to forget? *Is it okay? to continue to reject that side of him out of the fear he feels? But he doesn't feel comfortable saying this aloud. Not yet. Maybe he never will be.*

[unscrappable]

[Virus's expression doesn't change in any visible way, that calm smile still there. How like Aoba. Of course he and Trip have been working on "helping" him let go, but unsurprisingly Aoba has a strong will and isn't broken quite as easily. But he has no doubts that it can be done.]

Why wouldn't you want to? You wouldn't have to be concerned with consequences or restraints.

[hairnerves]

I don't want to be numb to those kinds of things. I... want to be able to feel in ways that simply letting go and giving in would stop.

Why phrase it that way? Is that... the 'Aoba' you prefer?

*He feels nervous, but... he trusts Virus.*

[unscrappable]

Being constrained by those sorts of things is silly if you don't need them.

[He takes just one step forward, but no more. There would be no sense in doing anything too forward. Even though he is impervious to Scrap, he isn't quite as physically strong as Trip so if things got out of hand it would be troublesome. Ah well. His specialty is in mindgames, anyway.]

We like you however you are, Aoba-san. But some sides of you are more interesting. We're just thinking of you.

[hairnerves]

*Aoba frowns.*

Need... and want.. can be entirely different things, but just as valid. *His tone comes out more strongly, defensive, but he has no intention of using Scrap on his friend.*

Even if I did give in, how long until that loses its interest, huh? Hypothetically speaking. *Yes, Virus, your opinion matters to Aoba.*

[unscrappable]

You should just worry about focusing on what you want.

[Virus makes what could be considered a short laugh at Aoba's tone.]

Hypothetically speaking? It all depends. But there are a lot of fascinating things- and people- in the world to kill time with.

[hairnerves]

What I want....

*That's not easy for him to put to words. It's like a fog in his head: shapeless. He lets out a soft sigh and rubs his forehead. This is probably what Virus was talking about. Or if not Virus, someone. If he doesn't even know what he himself wants, then how to go about making that time pleasant with another person? N-not that he's considering Virus!*

[unscrappable]

Does not knowing trouble you, Aoba-san? There's no problem with not knowing though, so you shouldn't look so distressed.

[Not that he doesn't like that expression on Aoba. But as someone with no goals beyond moving from one source of entertainment to another, Virus naturally doesn't understand the idea of balancing "needs" over "wants".]

[hairnerves]

Says the guy who already knows what he wants.

Do you understand at all where I'm coming from?

*Reason rules over Desire, and even if he's not always happy, he likes things this way. For him to be able to decide when he wants to press on or give up, and then later press on again.

*If he fully gave into Desire, what sort of messed-up life would that be? He can't imagine giving up Reason.*

[unscrappable]

No, I can't say I do. That guy would say the same thing.

[By which he means Trip. They might not be twins, but in that way they are undeniably almost identical.]

[hairnerves]

Mmn.

*Aoba frowns a bit, trying to figure out how to get his message across.*

..Do you want to understand?

*If Virus doesn't want to understand, then he won't even bother trying to get his thoughts together on the matter. It would be useless anyway.*

[unscrappable]

How about we compromise. [That's not really phrased like a question, either.]

I'll listen to your side if you'll then listen to mine. Does that sounds good, Aoba-san?

[hairnerves]

Fine by me.

*He does, after all, want to understand Virus's way of thinking, even if he later decides that he doesn't agree with it.*

[unscrappable]

Excellent.

[Again his smile widens just a bit.]

[hairnerves]

*No, Virus, why are you so cute? Sigh. Aoba focuses on trying to get his words together. It takes him a minute or two. Especially considering how Virus appears to think, given this conversation.*

"Need" and "Want" are similar. One can want many things, but there are crucial aspects that are needed. Aspects of "need"... can make things of "want" sweeter, or more fulfilling.

If I give in entirely to only "want", then I have no way of enhancing the pleasure of that "want" from using "need".

If I don't have to struggle for what I want, sometimes... it's trivialized. Because there's no driving force beyond "want" and it feels... hollow. Unsatisfying. I like... balance. Having to make decisions between one or the other.

*He pauses, pursing his lips.*

...Does that make any sense?

[unscrappable]

But isn't struggling unpleasant? Especially given who you are... It seems ridiculous that you would need to struggle, Aoba-san.

[And he takes another step closer.]

I believe that the driving force behind "want" should be the "want" itself.

[hairnerves]

*Aoba doesn't budge, although the proximity makes him just a little wary. He listens to Virus. So it's that simple?*

...I see.

*Perhaps it's because Aoba sees some things in a complicated way that this simplicity takes him slightly off-guard.*

I shouldn't be surprised, but I am.

[unscrappable]

Why are you surprised?

[hairnerves]

...I was expecting a complicated answer.

*But somehow, this simplicity is soothing. And somewhere, in the back of his head, maybe "giving in" to want and only want isn't such a bad...

*--no no no, he shouldn't. He really, really shouldn't.*

[unscrappable]

I'm not a very complicated man.

[While that could possibly be argued, in Virus's mind everything is very straightforward. To him the priorities and interests are clear.]

[hairnerves]

Apparently.

*And he'll be trying to ignore how his mun is gushing about potential more-than-platonic threads between himself and Virus. Wonder how Virus would take to a tattooed (from Ryuuhou) Aoba.... Aoba shudders. Icon is directed at mun.*

[unscrappable]

[He just smiles again.

Virus thinks it would depend on how the tattoo looked and was placed. Aoba has such nice skin that one would need to be careful when marking it... But it could be cute.]

[hairnerves]

*There's... not much more to be said. His mun needs to replay Koujaku's route to figure out what Ryuuhou was planning on tattooing. But, since she remembers that Aoba was on his stomach during that scene, it would likely be on his back.*