whoops, had to

[lordofthelargepants]

So giant robots smashing the heck out of giant alien monsters is popular again, huh? What am I sayin', it always was popular! You've seen that new movie, what, three times already? Meeting some of those guys would be pretty cool, like some kinda... giant robot pilot club. And that Mako is a lot like Kiva too.

Chicks love their giant robots, dude.

Comments

[misfier]

Chicks love giant robots, eh?

Well, I might have to agree with you on that. Who doesn't? I dare you to find me a person who would say no to a mug like this.

... What's a chick?

[lordofthelargepants]

Hey, man. A chick's like... a lady. But cool? Wait. You're one of the good ones, right?

[misfier]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. Okay. No, I completely understand, friend.

Good? Define "good". Also define lady.

[lordofthelargepants]

A lady's a woman. Uhhh... female? Do you know what that one means?

And I mean one of the good ones. You have two kinds, right?

[misfier]

W o m a n... No.

No bells going off here.

Oh! Oh yeah, we do. Uh-huh. I am definitely one of the good ones then.

[lordofthelargepants]

Oh man. Buddy, I'm sorry.

Autobots, right?

[misfier]

Sorry for what? You having a go at me?

Uh. EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE me. Time the hell out here, bud-o. The Decepticons are the good guys.

[lordofthelargepants]

For not knowing any ladybots, or whatever.

Wait... what? ...Nah, dude, it's the Autobots. Don't test me on this, I watched the show like three times over.

[misfier]

Haha, what are you talking about? Is this one of those squishy things?

Show? What? No, we're the ones who liberated the planet from oppression and stuff. Good joke though, could use a little something on the delivery.

[lordofthelargepants]

Well if it was a girl robot, she wouldn't be squishy, she'd be metal too.

Look, maybe you should have a talk with someone about this. You just seem more confused than anything.

[misfier]

She... she! Oh! This is one of those gender things right? The things where you throw ooze everywhere?

No- wait this is blowing my mind here. You actually think the Decepticons are- well okay. I mean sure there were some that were kind of bozos. _{Killmaster... god damn wand.} But seriously I'm just a perfectly honest guy tryin' to make his way in the universe and all that junk!

1/2

[lordofthelargepants]

What? Ooze??

[lordofthelargepants]

Okay. I get it, you're an average guy trying to get along, and you don't seem like a bad guy... I think you're just on the wrong side of things. I do that too sometimes! Actually it's more like a lot. ...Like all the time. But it's by accident. ...Most of the time.

[misfier]

Oh yeah I know that feeling. All the time. But seriously I mean, the Decepticons are the ones who fought for the little guy! I mean not- well not always little. We have some big guys but we're really the good ones. Mmmmmmmost of the time. War is kind of. I mean it's a little... things get messed up a bit.

Anyways that's heavy, so tell me about your ooze.

[lordofthelargepants]

I'm going to need you to stop using the word ooze until I know what you mean by it.

[misfier]

Isn't that how you make larva?

[lordofthelargepants]

Larva- no, no no, that's like, bug-people. Or the Glorft. I think maybe they just throw up on some trash and that's how they make babies.

But humans have human babies. Think about if I was a lot tinier and had no hair. That's what babies look like.

[shutyourtrap]

On the contrary, my well-rounded friend! Chicks did robots of all sizes. It's a well known fact, universally recognized.

As true.

Factually.

[lordofthelargepants]

I dunno, man. I'm pretty sure they think small robots are cute, but I've never heard of them digging a small one, you know? I'm not gonna say "bigger is better" or anything, but... Who wants a single burger when they can get a quarter pounder, right?

[shutyourtrap]

Now that right there is a good example of ignorance on a universal scale kind of way, pal.

Take me, for example; there's been many a time I've been the target of the attention of a woman! Held close and handled gently as their voices whisper sweet nothings to me...now, granted, the situations can be taken contextually if you wanna get specific. I mean, where exactly does the line blur between "held close" and "forcefully removed from the premises, but in a careful sort of way"? Where does the line blur between "handled gently" and "no sudden movements because Claptrap may or may not have implied but not directly stated he was part incendiary device triggered by emotional stress"? And it is necessarily the fault of the robot in question if they're forced to whisper in an attempt to placate a manically depressed automaton incapable of properly conveying the tone most relevant to his emotional state at the time?

The way I see it, these are all the traits of someone not desired by anyone ever, but then they keep associating with me anyway.

And you know why that is?

I'm one sweet piece of brass, baby.

...well, ok, I'm not made of brass but...you get the idea.

[lordofthelargepants]

Uh...

[He is pretty sure that that is not how you win chicks over.]





If you say so, buddy.

[shutyourtrap]

You on the other hand, using what I've learned from human society to make accurate snap judgements on others based on first appearances, with your unkempt chin-defining tuft of hair, heavyset build and lack of dress sense are probably kind of unlucky in the chicks department.

But not to worry! I'd be perfectly willing to offer you some help if that's the case. We guys gotta stick together when it comes to that area, if you know what I mean.

[Nudge nudge.]

You know.

1/???

[lordofthelargepants]

[lordofthelargepants]

[lordofthelargepants]

[lordofthelargepants]

Ha! Ha ha ha! Haaaaa...

Oh man. Look, small-robot-dude. I don't need your help with that sort of thing. I'm not into it like that.