this is mun's life. these are mun's choices.

[mostoftoday]

... Well. That was awkward!
What a coincidence though, right?
[Nervous laughter.]

... But I don't really think it's anything to worry about. I bet he'll warm up! I mean, we've got a lot in common... sort of...
In the mean time though, it's, uh, fine if you call me Theo. I guess I don't mind it that much if it'll make things less confusing for you. And for everybody else in here I just met! The triangle guy seems fun!

... Besides! He can't kill me if he can't catch me first.

Oh, and I'm so glad you liked the movie a lot! What'd you say about it again? ... It "broke the adorable meter"? Heheh... guess I'm breaking all kinds of records now, eh?

Comments

[notaglitch]

...Breakin' records, huh? What kind of records would'a snail be breaking? Went so slow you went back in time?

[Wait, can't catch you? ...Ah well, Vanellope didn't hear that anyway.]

[mostoftoday]

[Clever. Real clever. He's just gonna dash a few ridiculously fast, nitrous-blue-glowing circles around you, Vanellope, before zooming up to the top of your head and sitting there.]

I'll let you take a guess, kiddo.

[notaglitch]

[That sudden display startles her, causing her to jump a little and look up, trying to catch a glimpse of Theo on the top of her head.]

Wh-!?

.....G-Good gumdrops, how the heck did you do that!?

[She had so many good jokes lined up, and you spoiled them all in one fell swoop, Theo. Snails aren't fast. What sorcery is this?]

[mostoftoday]

[Not sorcery - nitrous oxide! ... Which may actually have magical properties, apparently.]

Uh, it's kind of a long story. Guess they don't have the Indy 500 where you're from.

Ooh, is this real candy?

[He tries to take a bite of one of the gummi bears in Vanellope's hair.]

[notaglitch]

[Vanellope frowns a little, reaching up to pluck Theo off her head so she can hold him in the palm of her hand and talk to him face-to-face.]

Hey, keep off the merchandise! I've had that gummi bear for 3 years and countin', so don't go breaking THAT record.

[She squints at him, resting her other hand on her hip.]

You must be from some weird new game, to be able to go that fast.

[REALLY weird, but if that's what the kids are into..]

[mostoftoday]

3 years?! ... Uch, at least it's not an overripe tomato.

[He doesn't mind being taken off her head and held in her hand, though he gives her a confused look.]

"Game"? ... What're you talking about?

[notaglitch]

Yep! Not bad if I do say so myself, but I'm really shootin' for five. Though the candy usually starts falling off before then, but I figure gummi bears are so sticky it'll last. This baby's like cement now, so she ain't comin' off any time soon!

[Probably best you didn't try to bite it in the first place, Theo.]

Yaknow, a video game. ..A video game about racin' snails, apparently?

[STILL SO WEIRD.]

[mostoftoday]

[Well, he's certainly now glad that he didn't. Ew.]

I have a video game?!

When did that happen?! Oh my god, oh my god... and I thought just the techno remix was awesome!!

[He seems maybe a little too excited about this.]

[notaglitch]

[She runs her other hand down the side of her face with a sigh.]

Course you would if you were from one. Looks like you either hit yer head at some point or aren't from a game at all, though.

[She lifts her hand a little so she can get a closer look at his shell.]

Say...you're all decked out just like a cart 'er somethin'. You SURE yer not from a game?

[mostoftoday]

Wait, so you're asking me like... am I a video game character?
... Is that what you are?

'Cause, uh, no, I'm not!

[He was under the impression you were just a normal human girl, Vanellope. One with gross 3-year-old candy in her hair, but still. One that he was enjoying getting to talk to since he can actually talk to humans here.]

[notaglitch]

'Course I am, doi! What'd you think I was?

[A human, obviously. Which she technically sort of is, only not really.]

So you mean ta'tell me....you're an actual snail, from the gamers' world....that can go as fast as a race car?

[mostoftoday]

Just a regular little girl, actually. Sorry, guess I'm still getting used to being able to meet video game characters!... And one-eyed triangles, and fallen angels, and ninjas who weirdly sound just like my friend Skidmark, and--

[Focus, Theo.]

A-Anyway...

Yep!

[notaglitch]

Hmmmm...

[She rubs her chin, examining Theo for another moment or two before smirking.]

Betcha you couldn't outrace me though, racin' snail or not.

[mostoftoday]

You race?
... Let me guess, you're a racing game character.

[He's played a few of those with Tito, but they're nothing like the real thing.]

I dunno, ever gone up to 230 miles per hour in your game?

[notaglitch]

What was yer first clue?

[Vanellope, you haven't given him ANY clues as to the fact that you race. You don't even wear a uniform.]

How should I know? Nobody's ever clocked me, but I betcha I have. I've prolly gone way faster. ..You could say if you blink, you'll miss me goin' by.

[Which isn't that far from the truth, as far as her glitch is concerned.]

[mostoftoday]

You seem kind of young, and... sugar-coated, for a racer.
Then again, I'm really the last person who should judge.

[That and a kid racer with a candy theme does seem more like something you'd find in a video game. ... Though he's a real life snail with super speed. He probably wouldn't have much trouble buying it even if she weren't a game character.]

But I'd like to see that! And don't worry, I wouldn't even think of blinking.

[notaglitch]

[She nods in agreement, snickering.]

Yeah. I could say you're kinda small and snail-like to be racin', but you've already proven you can put the money where yer mouth is.

Maybe we could have a race sometime? Then we both would really be able ta'show our stuff.

[mostoftoday]

If snails needed money! ... To, ahem, semi-quote my bro Whiplash.

[He grins, excited about the idea of a race.]

If that's a challenge, then consider it accepted, Miss Gummi Bear Hair!
... Though I think I should know your real name first.

[notaglitch]

Name's Vanellope Von Schweetz! But you can just call me Vanellope.

[She's shake your hand, if you had any.]

What's yours?

[mostoftoday]

[If he did, he'd do likewise.]

Nice to meet ya, Vanellope! The name's Turbo!
But, uh, my mun and everyone else in her headspace calls me by my old name, Theo, so it doesn't get confusing. 'Cause get this? There's actually another guy in there named Turbo! Crazy, right? I mean what're the odds?

[Pretty high, actually, considering I seem to be absolutely insane and seeking my own mental trauma.]

[notaglitch]

[Wait.

Wait.]

...Turbo?

[NO WAY HE HAS.. THAT MUN...

....right?]

..Turbo as in....kinda....short, racin' uniform, yellow eyes.....Turbo?

[mostoftoday]

Thaaat's the guy.
You know him?

Real ray of sunshine, isn't he?
[Said dripping with sarcasm... before suddenly looking and sounding a lot more nervous.]
... Please don't tell him I said that.

[notaglitch]

....Um.

[The spunky little girl's air of confidence has all but evaporated at this point, so much so that Theo might notice the change in her demeanor almost immediately.

She jams her free hand into her pocket and rocks back on her heels before looking back down at the snail in her hand, frowning hard.]

I...know him, yeah. To be honest, I feel bad for you havin' t'be stuck with him forever.

[The fact that this little snail shares the same name with Turbo is also a bit alarming.]

...I bet he tried ta'squish you, didn't he?

[mostoftoday]

[Her confidence disappearing isn't too reassuring, but at least he can attempt to stay optimistic himself. Seems like a better idea to him than the alternative.]

Hey, don't worry, I'll manage! Besides, it's not like I'm the only one who's gotta put up with him.

Well... yeah, but I think he'll give up eventually when he realizes trying's all he can do.

[The spiral of his shell lights up with blue and a small revving sound, as a reminder.]

[notaglitch]

[That gets a smile out of her, as well as another laugh.]

Yeah, bet he can't even come close t'catchin' ya in the first place!

[Now that mental image is amusing for a multitude of reasons.]

Just watch out, anyways. If there's anyone I know who can't stand being anywhere BUT in the center of attention, it's Turbutt.

[hiveless]

[Whoops, have a beedude who's currently much closer to your size than virtually anyone else here, Theo.]

You are the COOLEST lookin' snail I've ever seen! That a spoiler?

[mostoftoday]

You bet it is!

[He dashes a few times around Bartleby, leaving a circle trail of nitrous-blue.]

Hey, nice headphones! Where'd you get them? And do they come in snail-size?