'Appy as is possible, I s'pose, as you an' th' rest weren't there. I wanted ter introduce 'im to th' family.
[ he hesitates a moment or two, then carefully curls his hands around hers, squeezing gently. ] Wot's wiv th' face, ey? [ he reaches up, hooking her chin with a finger and tilting it up with a slight smile. ] Yer missed me?
Everyone would've been happy for you. (Of course she would have disappeared into the shadows and scowled the whole time.) I -
(How does one put "I'm so madly in love with you that I slept with a demon to forget you for one night and ended up spilling a truck load of information"?
Well, I'd 'ope so. It's th' same sorta' fing I want fer alla' you, too. [ he still finds it outrageous, sometimes. impossible. he's trash from off the street, only alive because of the baron's appetites. he's done awful, shameful, humiliating things to survive. why would anyone outside of his family, much less someone like sephiroth, bother to look past that and find something worth caring about?
at her next comment, though, he startles, staring at her in shock for several moments before pulling her in by the nape of her neck, curling his arms around her in a fierce hug. ]
Beast, luv, what the 'ell're you talkin' about? Where'd this come from, eh? 'As someone said somefing?
... (It's not meant for her. She realizes that now. She'll die as a beast tamer and...really...that's okay. It's so much better than the life she had lived with him before. She would do anything for Joker and since he wants to stick with the Baron, well, she's not going anywhere.)
...! (She gasps and finds it downright impossible to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. He doesn't know! Otherwise... Otherwise...)
Black trick'd me! I let him. I...was so sad and... We slept together right before he an' Smile left.
But that's not the worst part...
I told him so much! I dunno what was wrong with me. It's my fault that we're in danger, Joker. You should jus' let me go. I won't bother you anymore.
[ black? (but his name isn't black, is it? joker remembers him, knows that if he has a proper name, it isn't one that joker wants to know.)
he knows what happened to all of them, the same way he remembers his own death. but she doesn't know, and he can't tell her. he can't put that on her any more than he could put it on any of the others. he's their big brother. it's always, always been on him to take care of them as best he can. keep them from the baron's attentions, carry the knowledge of what kind of thing their patron is.
he swallows hard, then presses a kiss to her curls. ]
'S all right, luv. We're gonna' be fine. Jus' take a deep breath, c'mon, do it fer Joker. [ he leans back a little to look her properly in the eye. ] I en't sendin' you away no more'n I'd send any of th' others away. Yer made a mistake, Beast. We all do, roight?
(There's so much she doesn't know yet, but the guilt is eating her alive. She hadn't wanted to react so strongly to Black's temptations, but he had said all the right things and then her mind had gone...numb. It was like taking a drug or having a vivid dream. It didn't occur to her that it might not be safe to talk. At least not until after he left.
Then she had woken up.
Everything has been hellish since then. Beast is a strong woman, so knowing she betrayed her family, well, it's enough to make her consider ending her life.)
Okay. (She inhales shakily and reaches for his hand, quickly entwining their fingers.) You never have. You're the perfect leader. We would be dead without you, Joker.
[ his expression softens sadly, fingers squeezing hers, other arm wrapping around her shoulders. ] Oh, luv. I've made more mistakes than I care ter admit. Wot I shoulda' done ages ago was pack us all up, say ter 'ell wiv th' Baron, an' moved us all as far away as I could.
[ he tilts his temple against her head, closing his eyes. ]
I should be stronger fer alla' you, but I dunno' that I can be.
[ he swallows, then straightens again to offer a smile, well-practiced and utterly convincing. ] Yeah. Soon as we get back, let's all jus'.. go. We'll figure out where we're goin' after we're good an' gone.
[ he tweaks her nose. ] I'm yer big brovver, en't I? Don' yer worry yer pretty 'ead no more 'bout nuffin'. I'm gonna' fix it all. [ it's a terrible lie and he knows it, but-- if she can be happy for just a little while longer.. if she can hope.. ]
[ the colour returns at the mention of sephiroth, leaving him embarrassed in a way no one else has ever managed. (he's got it bad. he knows it.) ]
Well, if th' writer'll jus' do some proper canon-reviewin' loike she says she's gonna' do, maybe I will. Proper-loike, I mean. In th' game 'e's in, though we'd 'aveta' start over from scratch there. [ a brief pause. ] If I do, you oughta' come, too, Beast. It'd be noice ter 'ave family there.
[ the blush darkens as he laughs, passing a hand over his face. ]
Oi, 'e.. 'e don' need ter take care of me, I'll be fine.
[ but he has, hasn't he? on the bad days, when joker had shown up at sephiroth's door wearing bite marks and bruises. he'd curled up in the general's bed and just slept, as sephiroth had watched over or lain with him.
he owes him more than he can ever say. ]
Any'ow, I'm the older brovver, remember? It's me wot ought ter be threatenin' people who court you.
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:D
Oh.)
...does he make you happy?
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[ he hesitates a moment or two, then carefully curls his hands around hers, squeezing gently. ] Wot's wiv th' face, ey? [ he reaches up, hooking her chin with a finger and tilting it up with a slight smile. ] Yer missed me?
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(How does one put "I'm so madly in love with you that I slept with a demon to forget you for one night and ended up spilling a truck load of information"?
There's no manual for this.)
I don't deserve your kindness.
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at her next comment, though, he startles, staring at her in shock for several moments before pulling her in by the nape of her neck, curling his arms around her in a fierce hug. ]
Beast, luv, what the 'ell're you talkin' about? Where'd this come from, eh? 'As someone said somefing?
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...! (She gasps and finds it downright impossible to stop the tears from flowing down her cheeks. He doesn't know! Otherwise... Otherwise...)
Black trick'd me! I let him. I...was so sad and... We slept together right before he an' Smile left.
But that's not the worst part...
I told him so much! I dunno what was wrong with me. It's my fault that we're in danger, Joker. You should jus' let me go. I won't bother you anymore.
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he knows what happened to all of them, the same way he remembers his own death. but she doesn't know, and he can't tell her. he can't put that on her any more than he could put it on any of the others. he's their big brother. it's always, always been on him to take care of them as best he can. keep them from the baron's attentions, carry the knowledge of what kind of thing their patron is.
he swallows hard, then presses a kiss to her curls. ]
'S all right, luv. We're gonna' be fine. Jus' take a deep breath, c'mon, do it fer Joker. [ he leans back a little to look her properly in the eye. ] I en't sendin' you away no more'n I'd send any of th' others away. Yer made a mistake, Beast. We all do, roight?
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Then she had woken up.
Everything has been hellish since then. Beast is a strong woman, so knowing she betrayed her family, well, it's enough to make her consider ending her life.)
Okay. (She inhales shakily and reaches for his hand, quickly entwining their fingers.) You never have. You're the perfect leader. We would be dead without you, Joker.
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[ he tilts his temple against her head, closing his eyes. ]
I should be stronger fer alla' you, but I dunno' that I can be.
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(Not in his current state anyway.)
Joker, we love you. (It's easier to say "we".) We wan' you to be you. That's all.
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[ he tweaks her nose. ] I'm yer big brovver, en't I? Don' yer worry yer pretty 'ead no more 'bout nuffin'. I'm gonna' fix it all. [ it's a terrible lie and he knows it, but-- if she can be happy for just a little while longer.. if she can hope.. ]
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I'd like that. A lot.
(She blinks and smiles a little - it's slow and tentative, but definitely there.)
Joker... (No. She's not going to burden him. Have another well-practiced smile.) I hope you see him again. I like that someone makes you happy.
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Well, if th' writer'll jus' do some proper canon-reviewin' loike she says she's gonna' do, maybe I will. Proper-loike, I mean. In th' game 'e's in, though we'd 'aveta' start over from scratch there. [ a brief pause. ] If I do, you oughta' come, too, Beast. It'd be noice ter 'ave family there.
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I think my writer is already there. (Which makes it easier, no?) I'd like to meet him. I wan' to make sure he takes care of you.
(Or she'll use her whip in all sorts of nasty ways.)
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Oi, 'e.. 'e don' need ter take care of me, I'll be fine.
[ but he has, hasn't he? on the bad days, when joker had shown up at sephiroth's door wearing bite marks and bruises. he'd curled up in the general's bed and just slept, as sephiroth had watched over or lain with him.
he owes him more than he can ever say. ]
Any'ow, I'm the older brovver, remember? It's me wot ought ter be threatenin' people who court you.
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(His next words cause to her to sober. She purses her lips.)
No one is courtin' me except for Dagger an' he's only doin' it because of my chest.