Jealous Muse is Jealous

[bring_the_beatdown]

S-shut up! I ain't jealous of nuthin'. 'Specially some gross Medic. I dunno, maybe you're not thinking straight on account of you got half tha BLU team up heres, but lady, I don't got nothing to be jealous of.

I mean check me out!

That girl Scout will come around, you just wait.

Comments

[quickly]

Yer always jealous. Jealous'a me, jealous'a Doc, jealous'a everyone.

It ain't anything new.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Psh. No way. Of you? Yea, it was always my dream ta be a corpse all dead in tha dirt, totally jealous.

[not_onyourside]

I zhink she ees coming around nicely right now.

[Innuendo: GET]

[bring_the_beatdown]

SCREW YOU.

Why doncha go back to being invisible, do us all a favor.

[not_onyourside]

Now now. I am magnanimous, and I will share wez you.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Dude... that's gross.

[shhhhh_secret]

Perhaps you should zink less along ze lines of "handsome looks", "charming personality", or "witty dialogue" and more "copious amounts of alcohol".

...some pills from ze infirmary's medicine cabinet wouldn't hurt, eizzer.

(Is Spy insinuating that Scout needs viagra or rohypnol? Up to you! It's totally in character for him to suggest either--or even both.)

[not_onyourside]

Zhat seems beneazh even you.

[shhhhh_secret]

What can I say? I suppose all you needed for ze boy's mozzer to fall into bed wiz you was ze promise of your cunning linguistics? Your skillz wiz a revolver could hardly send anyone into flights of fancy.

(Translation: insinuating that BLU Scout Ma is easy and/or that RED Spy can't get it up.

...you know what, just assume that the BLU Spy is insinuated The Worst Innuendo you can imagine.)

[not_onyourside]

[Eyeroll]

I do not have to explain myself to you.

At least I am not drugging anyone.

[shhhhh_secret]

Complain to your good doctor, zen, eef you are so concerned about being sober. I am quite certain zat both he and his BLU counterpart are using all of us as zeir unwitting guinea pigs.

(Somebody's still a little bitter about that whole head in the fridge thing. And there was that other time where everything was babies and rainbows and he wasted precious time sitting in Respawn staring at his hand...)

[not_onyourside]

I fail to see how zhat relates to me een any way. Or zhe boy.

Th-th-th-threadjack

[sentryslinger]

Spy, that ain't good advice and you know it.

[shhhhh_secret]

(Shrugs.) I'm not ze boy's fazzer. I see no need to give him sound counsel.

Eef he does not care for what I have to say he will not listen to me.

[sentryslinger]

And if he does?

[shhhhh_secret]

(Just this look, forever.)

Has ze Scout ever listened to a single word of advice from anyone?

(C'mon, Engie. Scout is, like, the patron saint of Not Listening to People.)

[bring_the_beatdown]

Hey, my handsome looks and charming personality are way better than yours!

[shhhhh_secret]

(Holds the most perfect poker face ever. It's pretty obvious that the Spy is Super Not Impressed, though.)

[bring_the_beatdown]

[Well he should be. Scout's pretty awesome. Or at least that's what he tells himself.]

Oh shut up.

[shhhhh_secret]

(Well, he would be, if he were not the same age as the mun's little brother. Aaaaawkward.)

(Meanwhile, the Spy has somehow managed to hold onto his poker face somehow.)

I am sure zee ladies are lining up for you even as we speak.

[sentryslinger]

Found yourself a lady friend, did you, son?

[bring_the_beatdown]

I.. no. Maybe. Kind of?

Whats it to ya?

[sentryslinger]

Just curious. I know you can handle it, but I thought I'd just ask and see what your plans were.

[Not that you need advice, Scout.]

[bring_the_beatdown]

Things are going great! I don't need no help.

[ Oh god he's so hopeless help him Engie. ]

She uh... changed her mind about not liking me. I knew she would!

[sentryslinger]

[He had a feeling.]

Well, that's a good start.

Did ya give her a compliment? People tend to like those. Makes 'em warm up to you.