dear_mun | Voice.. testing?

Heard you graduated Valedictorian at Mad Scientist University. Not bad.

Except I didn't even have to go school.

[eye-roll]
Oh yes, I'm so impressed. I hear home schooled kids tend to learn more than their peers. The lack of monster attacks probably accounts for something..

Tch, who said anything about home school?

You have monsters that actually attack?

Edited 2013-05-27 02:12 (UTC)

Well, you have to get an education somewhere, don't you?

'Course I do! What good would they be if they didn't?

Not in Miseryville.

Exactly. Eh, at least they're loyal customers.

No school at all? Something doesn't seem right about that.

Hold on, customers? What kinda monsters does this Miserville have?

Well, there are schools, but only for demon kids.

The "easy to sell products that will make them miserable" kind.

...

Demon schools, monster customers? I'm gonna take a guess that you're not a normal little girl. [He's getting a better look at that freaky scar on her forehead, too.]

Nice of you to wake up and smell the poison ivy.

[I wouldn't get too close while looking though, Viceroy. You've probably already guessed why.]

[Oh, of course. He's keeping his distance.]

So, eh, you mentioned my attendance at MSU. Based on the everything about you, it's safe to say you're a mad scientist too. One of the creepy ones..

But how'd you become a scientist without any schooling?
[This stuff doesn't come easy, after all.]

Thanks for noticing. Aww, stop it, you're embarrassing me!

[She shrugs.]

Just natural brilliance, I guess.

[He didn't mean it as a compliment, but he'll roll with it.] Hey, I call 'em like I see 'em.

That's some talent. Mind givin' me a few examples of your work?

[She giggles a cute, spooky little giggle. You flatterer, you!]

Let's see... Sardiner, Body Swap Machine, Frustrate-O-Bot, Snowberator 901, Squid-Based Muscle Enhancer, Evil Soda Pop Dispenser, Dehydrated Giant Monsters, Finger-eating Chickens, Bully-in-a-Can, People Copier that makes indestructible clones, Heinousaurus Rex, and Bio-Genetic Brainwave Transference Devices. To name a few.

[Ok, a good half of those sound really cool. The other half.. not so much.]

At least you've got quantity.. color me surprised! I'd just love to get my hands of a few of those.

Edited 2013-05-27 03:27 (UTC)

[Out of ~~hammerspace~~ seemingly nowhere, she suddenly hands him a thick magazine with a distinctive symbol on the cover.]

The new Misery Inc. Catalogue. If you're interested in the dehydrated monsters, they're buy one, get one half off this season, page 24.

Edited 2013-05-27 03:35 (UTC)

[He thumbs through the catalog, pausing on a couple of really vicious looking inventions.]

Oooh! Not bad..

Sign me up for a few of those monsters. Y'never know when you'll need them..

[Viceroy pulls a notepad out of his pocket and scribbles something down. He hands her a piece of paper, reading: W. Viceroy III. McFist Industries HQ, Norrsiville, CA.]

[She takes the paper, reading it over before raising a brow.]

"Norrisville"? Never heard of it. I'll have to ask Lucius if we ship there...

What's "CA"?

[She seems genuinely confused.]

California. United States?

[He shakes his head.] See, this is why you should be goin' to school. Where's Miseryville? We'll figure this out backwards.

Hey, it's not like there's a lot of places OUTSIDE Miseryville!

[In fact there... doesn't seem to be any. At all. If there are other civilizations, she doesn't know anything about them. Jimmy apparently came from one, but he remembers nothing about it (aside from a few small things, like that it had snow) or how he ended up in Miseryville from there in the first place.]

Edited 2013-05-27 05:14 (UTC)

Well it's--

[Suddenly, she sort of... completely blanks.]

it's...
Yaknow, that's actually a really good question.

[Admittedly, she's never really thought about it before. Where IS Miseryville? From what she's aware, it's always just been... in Miseryville. And that's it. That's what everyone even seems to refer to the entire planet as.]

[A quiet hmph.] I can't buy any dehydrated monsters if we don't know where they're comin' from, missy.

But then again.. [He tallies them off on his fingers.] Demons, monsters? A very large business that runs solely on dangerous, misery-inducing products? [He holds up the catalog to make a point.]

I get the feeling that there's something fishy going on with this town of yours. [He just can't put his finger on what.]

Well I don't know where this--
[She pronounces it in a purposefully mocking tone.]
"Ca-loo-for-nia Yoo-nited States" is either, so if you're looking to buy Misery Inc. products, it's kind of a problem for both of us.

What's fishy about it?

[It doesn't seem suspicious to her.
Then again, it's all she knows.]

Edited 2013-05-27 06:03 (UTC)

[He glares. Don't you sass him, he's trying to help.]

"Fishy" in the sense that it doesn't sound like anything that exists on Earth. At least, nothing I've every heard of.

[Look who's talking, Dr. McSassypants.
In return, she just groans softly and slumps her shoulders.]

You mean earth, like, the dirt and the ground? Of course everything is "on earth." It's on. The ground. ... Unless it's underground, I guess. Whatever.

[She rubs her temples for a short moment.]

Ugh, this is getting frustrating. Look, Miseryville is just a place where almost everyone's a demon or a monster, run by a bossy, prideful little guy named Lucius, who's job it is to make everybody miserable. I work for him inventing stuff at Misery Incorporated where he always takes the credit for all MY hard work, and he's got a lazy, gluttonous good-for-nothing son named Beezy. Alright? That enough information for ya?

Earth as in the planet, miss know-it-all.

[He listens, nodding.] Hoo boy, can I relate. 'Cept for the demons, the misery, the whole "other-planet" thing.

...Wait a minute.

Edited 2013-05-27 06:52 (UTC)

[Ohh. Oh no, something's clicking.]

Lucius? Luci, Luc.. Uh oh.

I think I might've figured out the problem. [He doesn't want to say, though. Partly because it sounds kind of crazy.]

[She rolls her eyes.]
Earth makes up the planet...
Though I think it's pretty obvious by now we aren't from the same one.

... Wait, you too?

[Her gaze narrows after he catches on, however.]

What "problem"?

[Just a normal teenager in a green hoodie, nothing interesting here.]

A vacation much deserved, I hope?

[Yes, please take an extended vacation from terrorizing the town with robots, Viceroy. Nomi rather likes it when you get time off.]

Very. One day of paid vacation just isn't enough.

...I'm sorry, who are you? [Because er. He doesn't recognize you. ~~Definitely a good thing.~~]

Oh, just a passerby; my name is Nomi. The phrase "super villain" caught my ear... sounds like a harrowing job. Especially with a mere one day of vacation.

You must have some kind of hero keeping you busy, right?

[All said smooth as silk. Nomi is playing the anonymity for all it's worth. ~~And still using words like "harrowing" what kind of teenager says that really~~]

[~~What kind of kid says "the cheese"?~~]

Oh, yes. A teenage Ninja, of all things! He's.. a bit more than me and my boss bargained for.

But who knows? I get the feeling it'll pay off one of these days.

[~~The brucest kind, clearly.~~]

A ninja? Interesting! I didn't realize there were still ninjas, much less teenagers like me.

Why are you fighting him? A good villain always has a good story.

[And it's the one question he and Randy have never figured out.]

[He shrugs.] Honestly? It's not very exciting.. No tale of revenge or anything like that.

There just aren't that many outlets for the mad scientist gig. It gives me something to do. And an awful lot of attention for my special brand of genius.

My boss has a little more incentive. Potential super powers if all goes according to plan..

Edited 2013-05-27 08:49 (UTC)

For someone who calls himself a "mad scientist," you certainly don't seem very mad.

[Viceroy might catch the subtle hardening of Nomi's expression at that last comment, though, the slight narrowing of his eyes. The book doesn't know of many who could grant such a boon, and the most likely culprit would be...]

Is that all? Nothing personal on your employer's end, either? That's disappointing.

Oh, that's a common misconception. Not all mad scientists hate the world, are crazy, etcetera.

[He pauses.]

Well.. Since it doesn't really matter what I tell you here. The fellow that me n' my boss are working for definitely has a bone to pick with the Ninja. You spend 800 years in a dungeon, of course revenge is gonna be your top priority!

Soooo...you're some sort of super villain?

Of the mad scientist persuasion, yes. Don't worry too much, I'm not workin' right now.

I guess that's good. I didn't think super villains took vacations. None of the ones I know do.

I don't see how anybody could be in the "must destroy" mindset for that long. It must take a special kind of obsession.

If you've got super villains, then I'm guessin' you're a hero of some kind?

Well, since you're on vacation and I know it doesn't matter here, I'm not just any hero. I'm the hero. Protector of NYC and the entire magical community.

Mm, not bad! Sounds like a real handful. What kinda powers do you have?

Only the greatest powers ever! Kick it. Dragon up!

[Cue flaming transformation sequence. Flames cover the boy's body and suddenly BAM! Dragon.]

How you like me now?

[WOAH, he really wasn't expecting that! In fact the spontaneous combustion makes Viceroy jump back. But the dragon form is interesting enough to bring him right back- maybe a little closer than before.]

Ok, that? That was cool.

[He steps around Jake, getting a good look at those wings and spikes.] I would hate to be your villain!

[Jake flexes an arm and expands his wings while Viceroy is looking. Who wouldn't think he was awesome? No one!]

Oh yeah. I lay the heavy smack down on them. I'm the American Dragon. It's what I do.

So what's your hero like?

[Viceroy's attitude sours a bit at the thought of his arch enemy.]

Annoying. He's a teenage Ninja. Super fast, super stealthy, and armed with I-don't-know-how-many weapons!

It's a long story, but me and my boss have this deal going with an evil Sorcerer to either capture or destroy the Ninja. It's not easy.

Teenage Ninja and you can't catch him huh? Sounds like a real problem you got there.

[Jake shifts back into human form.]

So what kind of deal you got goin' on with the Sorcerer guy? Money? World Domination?

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