[Soubi runs his hands up and down your back, maximizing the touch, pressing himself against you as if he could physically stop being a separate entity. As if, by loving you enough, he wouldn't have to let go.
He knows how much it means to you to feel wanted. You are wanted.
Whoever he's made to belong to, it doesn't mean you're worth any less. Being taken from you is probably a sign that your brother wants to get closer to you. As much as not being yours tears into him, Soubi can't regret that. You deserve to be loved by a real person.
He knows he should be saying goodbye. This is not appropriate ... but he could hold you forever. Following the few orders he was given is taking all the discipline he has. He doesn't have enough left over to pull away. He will, once Seimei breaks him in again, but he feels weak right now. There's an I love you, Ritsuka, in the back of his throat that he doesn't dare voice. You don't need to hear it. This is hard enough with just your own feelings to contend with.
He kneels, rests his cheek against the side of your head, and tries not to think. It's impossible. He isn't safe with you, but what's much worse, he isn't safe for you. He tries to speak, and only manages to make a small, pained noise. He tries again.]
You forgive what you shouldn't. I betrayed you. You shuh-should not tolerate my filth.
[Though he believes it, the expression is too close to what your brother says to him, to tell you without his voice breaking. He never meant to be a bad thing, he hates being treated like one, and the fact that he definitely deserves it ... makes it all the worse.]
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He knows how much it means to you to feel wanted. You are wanted.
Whoever he's made to belong to, it doesn't mean you're worth any less. Being taken from you is probably a sign that your brother wants to get closer to you. As much as not being yours tears into him, Soubi can't regret that. You deserve to be loved by a real person.
He knows he should be saying goodbye. This is not appropriate ... but he could hold you forever. Following the few orders he was given is taking all the discipline he has. He doesn't have enough left over to pull away. He will, once Seimei breaks him in again, but he feels weak right now. There's an I love you, Ritsuka, in the back of his throat that he doesn't dare voice. You don't need to hear it. This is hard enough with just your own feelings to contend with.
He kneels, rests his cheek against the side of your head, and tries not to think. It's impossible. He isn't safe with you, but what's much worse, he isn't safe for you. He tries to speak, and only manages to make a small, pained noise. He tries again.]
You forgive what you shouldn't. I betrayed you. You shuh-should not tolerate my filth.
[Though he believes it, the expression is too close to what your brother says to him, to tell you without his voice breaking. He never meant to be a bad thing, he hates being treated like one, and the fact that he definitely deserves it ... makes it all the worse.]