Regarding competition between different series incarnations of a certain consulting detective...

[womanwhobeatyou]

Come now, dear, you know it would be incredibly amusing to set all of these variations on Mr. Holmes against each other. See them try to prove which one of them was the most clever, the quickest in their deductions. And yes, I do mean all of them, including that young American man with the pineapple and the limping doctor. Though perhaps not the talking cucumber.

No, I don't suppose you have the wherewithal to make it happen, but I would certainly enjoy watching. And perhaps the good Doctors Watson would take a bet on which one of them murders each other with a violin bow first.

Comments

[formersurgeon]

...pineapple?

[womanwhobeatyou]

Yes. I believe there is an American man whose talents are quite like those of Mr. Holmes, but rather prefers masquerading as a false police psychic with his deductive abilities. And there is always a pineapple somewhere in the vicinity of their adventures.

I expect that's no less absurd than the version of yourself that is a talking tomato, Miss Watson.

[formersurgeon]

As I understand it, my mun has young children and is quite familiar with the vegetable adaptation. I think she'd prefer this pineapple person too.

[womanwhobeatyou]

No doubt. I have it on somewhat dubious authority from the dear Miss Mundane that Mr. Shawn Spencer is entertaining, as is his friend Mr. Guster. No doubt you and the latter would have quite the afternoon commiserating.

[solvescases]

[interested hum and smirk]

Boredom?

[Is that what incited this plan?]

[womanwhobeatyou]

[Smirks back.]

Curiosity. The ones I've had the pleasure of meeting have been quite...impressive.

[Is she trying to suggest they might be better than you, Sherlock? Maybe.]

[solvescases]

[He hits a sour note on plucking his violin with a frown. Now that was diabolical.]

Impressive? How do you mean? [NOT JEALOUS]

[womanwhobeatyou]

[SO SMUG.]

Make a deduction, Mr. Holmes.

[thetruthismine]

The ones in waistcoats, too?

[womanwhobeatyou]

How clever is the mind behind the waistcoat?

[thetruthismine]

Obviously not very, if it's behind the waistcoat instead of above it.

[/is something of a troll]

[womanwhobeatyou]

Indeed. And without imagination either, it would seem.

[Come on now, Patrick Jane, trolling Sherlock Holmes in all his forms is what she does]

[i_favour_you]

You know, you only have seven days left.

Then we'll have another face with your name. And a whole new realm of innuendo to put to you.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Oh but we both know you'll still see me when you're desperate and pining inside your own head, Sherlock.

[i_favour_you]

No. No, I imagine I'll see both of you in various horizontal positions.

[pineapples]

Okay, far as deductions go, I'd say we'd all be pretty evenly matched.

But knowing every line to all twenty-six Indiana Jones movies, and yes, that includes the straight to video ones? Pretty sure I've got that corner of the market covered. And let's be honest, which skill's really going to come in handy when you're running away from a giant boulder with nothing but a sweet hat and a bullwhip to keep you alive? Uh-huh. That's right. I thought so.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Do you expect dodging boulders with a bullwhip in hand to be a problem you'll encounter with any regularity, Mr. Spencer?

[pineapples]

Nnnnnnnot really? But I'm pretty sure one day it's going to happen. Which is why I've decided next time I have to explore any old temples, I am de-fiiiiiii-nitely taking my bullwhip with me.

Oh, by the way? They all might be great with their deductions and their cool pipes, which is really unfair because I think I deserve a cool pipe too, I mean, dude! I've solved more cases than Basil Rathbone has in his entire career, [ no Shawn, stop breaking the 4th wall Shawn ] and I still haven't gotten a cool pipe. They can keep the weird floppy frisbee hat though. [ reaching up to gently smooth over his hair. ] Don't wanna ruin the magic.

What was I saying? Oh yeah! Deductions. They've got their fancy deductions and stuff, sure, but I, my lady, am psychic. Pretty hard to compete with that. [ WOW yes good keep up your psychic lie to a woman who can see right through Sherlock Holmes, Best Life Decisions ]

[you_dont_work_alone]

All to entertain you, I'm sure.

Though I think the other Dr. Watson's and I would get along just fine.

[womanwhobeatyou]

I doubt I'd be the only one entertained. I just won't hide it under a thin layer of disapproval.

[you_dont_work_alone]

[He smirks a bit.]

I probably would be entertained. A bit. But I wouldn't throw them all together just for that purpose.

Excuse Sherlock... he's... Sherlock

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

You all would get along because you're all average.

[And it would incredibly dull for a bunch of average people to congregate. Sherlock agrees with The Woman, this time, sorry John.]

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

You forgot the lesbian alien and her human... assistant.

[He doesn't watch Doctor Who but John tells him things.]

[womanwhobeatyou]

[Smirk.] The word you're looking for is wife.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Sherlock rolls his eyes.]

I don't care about anyone's relationship status.

[Which means, "assistant" is a perfectly acceptable term. Besides, he doesn't watch the show, he just hears things, which means he wouldn't know.]