(no subject)

[sneakyshoes]

Ohhh, all right, all right. All riiiight.

I said I would, and here I am. It's a nice enough day, I suppose. Don't really have anything else better to do.

Could be interesting. Meet some people. Get out, get about. Maybe start something. A riot would be nice. Good, clear day for it, and there's soooo little happening right now.

Mmm, a word, though, dear. Nothing too terribly serious, don't you pull that face on me. Don't you think that name's just the littlest bit obtuse? Hmm? Just the littlest tiny bit?

[_nope.]

No?

[<sub>it's just. obtuse. enough.

he shrugs, rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out from his trouser pocket.</sub>]

Whatever. [_singsong:] I don't ca~are. Don't come crying to me when no-one gets it, and never say I didn't warn you.

Comments

[consultantsson]

People get hurt during riots.

[ Yes, thank you Conan. ]

[sneakyshoes]

[ <sub>e y e r o l l

he enunciates incredibly carefully, to make sure this child understands him completely.</sub>]

Yee~ess, I knooo~ooow.

[_{silly, stupid child. he's so unamused, he's going to go back to texting and mostly ignoring you.}]

That is generally the idea behind inciting a riot. Or, you know, any other civil unrest you might want stirred up. Chaos, fires, general disagreement between any two particularly violent parties... whatever.

[consultantsson]

[ He just raises an eyebrow and stuffs his hands in the pockets of his blue blazer. ]

I'm well aware. My point is that I won't let you.

[sneakyshoes]

[_{he stares for a moment, and then he throws back his head and laaaughs.}]

Oh, isn't that just precious. Isn't that just the most adorable little thing I have ever seen. Just look at you, cutie! Just look at the big, silly head on you.

[_{enjoy this condescending smile.}]

There's not a government on this earth that can stop me, honey, but I'll give you top marks for enthusiasm. That's sure to get you somewhere.

1/2

[consultantsson]

[ His condescending smile is met with-well, it isn't met at all as the child breaks eye contact and looks off to the side, an extremely irritated look on his face. He is not a child, damn it! But it's just well that this man think he is. ]

[ Oh yes, he knows exactly who he's talking too, he's seen the man twice now, though that second time his vision had been horribly out of focus due to fever and probably a bit of blood loss, though it hardly matters as he could still hear just fine and voice is definitely a match. ]

[consultantsson]

[ --The irritated expression vanishes quickly and is replaced with a look of pure child-like innocence. ]

Ne Ojisan, have you ever played Soccer before?

[sneakyshoes]

[_{--... well, that was one hell of a switch. Jim's pretty decent at reading others, and while he's not really paying this kid much mind, he sure as hell didn't like that side-glance.}]

..nnnno.

[_{what the hell, kid. gotta give it to you, though - he's willing to bite.}]

Why.

[consultantsson]

Then you don't know, do you?

[ That cute, innocent expression he was wearing just melts into self confident smirk and his tone shifts from that of a kid's to something more cold and calculating as he squats down to click up the dial on his power-assisted-kick shoes. ]

How bad it can hurt to get hit by one?

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

Trying to intimidate your mun? Dull. And a waste of time.

[Sherlock is not impressed. Though, Moriarty isn't very impressive, in the end.]

[sneakyshoes]

Oh, Sherly. [_{sigh. eyeroll. don't you get him at all??}]

I'm not intimidating her. I'm just letting her know this username is silly and no-one is ever going to get the joke.

[_{he leans in for a conspiratorial whisper.}]

Though, it is kinda funny, don't you think? [_{a frown, and he leans back again.}] Unless... you don't get the joke?

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

[Sherlock clenches his teeth slightly. He hates 'Sherly.']

It's not difficult. Especially since the scenario was addressed in the original canon and has been repeated many times since...

[Sherlock is bored.]

[sneakyshoes]

_{[ s i i i i i i g h ]}

Oh, dearest. Do you ever hear yourself? You sound ridiculous.

_[eyeroll.]

If you don't want to play, why did you even bother coming to talk to me.

[highfunctioning_sociopath]

I realise it may be a difficult concept for you to grasp, but I do not exist for your personal entertainment.

[Sherlock is calm.]

[sneakyshoes]

And yet, you keep coming back to entertain me! You said it yourself, you're bored, so you're obviously not entertained.

_{[he holds his arms out.]}

What's the point of coming unless you want to play? Oh, but _{[he drops his hands and drops his voice to a whisper]} that would mean you have some interest here, and we both know that's just not right.

_[smiiile.] Riiiight?

Ah, but now we're talking in circles, and if there's something that bores me it's pointless chitchatter. Do move on from these pedantic little sentences and actually say something of worth, or do stop wasting my time.

[noticing]

Far less obtuse than you are, actually.

[ is that an insult or a compliment or an observation the world may never know ]

Arbitrarily causing chaos? How unlike you.

[ okay that's just blatant sarcasm though ]

[sneakyshoes]

Ohhh, did you roll out of the wrong bed this morning?

_{[oh but he's so happy to see you, Sherlock, and he'll underline this point by wandering forward with a tiny, dreamy little smile. he leans forward and mumbles conspiratorially]}

Is John not letting you sleep in the same room anymore? Relationships can be such a drag.

[noticing]

[ sigh SIGH always with the insinuations and the double-entendres. it's all very playful and Sherlock isn't really here to play. the amble gait elicits no response, not even a glance from the detective. ]

And how would you know what relationships are like? Seems minimal human interaction is tedious enough for you.

[ this is not simply an insult. there's curiosity there, woven into the words and underlying all of his intentions. he doubts Moriarty will answer. doesn't matter. ]

To answer your question, no. Didn't sleep last night. [ or the night before, but semantics, details. useful, but important? if they are, Moriarty can pick them out himself. ] You look well rested for a dead man.

[sneakyshoes]

_{[his smile becomes a tight smirk. don't be cruel.]}

I've seen the movies, dear. That's really all you need, isn't it? Besides, I don't see the point of a relationship with someone ordinary. Professional is good enough for me.

_{[time to run his eyes deliciously over Sherlock. gosh, you look tired!]}

You certainly can't say the same. How many nights was that, Sherls? One? It wears like two or three. You poor thing, you look like someone tore your life down. _{[so sympathetic.]}

[noticing]

The value of first-hand empirical evidence would surprise you. [ ie get a friend jim u g h.

Sherls. Sherls. his nose scrunches up and his lips wrench into a frown, but the expression is quick to fade. it's Sherlock. not Sherly. not Sherls. not sexy, dear, or honey. Sherlock.

he lets the objection slip from his mind. ]

I never specified. On the contrary, my fatigue can be attributed to the very opposite: interesting case, no need to waste time sleeping. [ he'll see your tight smirk and raise you a terse smile. a game of 'who will get to who first?' but isn't this how they always have and always will play? it's exhausting. it's exhilarating.

it's definitely not boring. ]

[sneakyshoes]

_{[screw you, Sherlock, he doesn't need friends. he waves a hand dismissively.]}

Oh, I had a man once, that was good enough. Loyal, and money kept him nice and quiet. S'good enough.

_{[and that's all you need in a friend, right? isn't that what you do with John?]}

Oooh, a new case! How exciting. Is it the case of How John Watson Deigned To Forgive You? Or are you not speaking to him yet..?

you brought this on yourself

[sebastian]

Riot's are all right, far's entertainment goes. You really want to get the blood going, trying getting into a stand-off. Of the Mexican variety. You know, you got your gun, opponent's got theirs, back to back and then you do the whole pacing bit before turning and shooting, that's a real fucking thrill.

Though it's always best to turn and shoot 'em through the head soon as you've taken your first step, which I suppose could ruin the fun of it for some people, but who's to say cheater's never prosper? Sad old sod who coined that probably spent his whole life wishing he could have been bright enough to write the answers to his A-levels on the back of his tie before waltzing in and failing miserably.

[ this rant had a point a while ago ]

...anywho. I get the name, and it's very punny, mate. Would have personally gone for something more... y'know... serpentine, but hey, this does the trick.

SCREECHES HAPPILY

[sneakyshoes]

[ <sub>s s s t a a a r e

he does his creepy reptilian head wiggle thing and fixes Moran with a stare.</sub> ]

I don't care what it is, s'long as I'm not bored anymore.

[ _{he is so annoyed @ u rn, Moran. what are you DOING, laying around?} ]

Don't you have something you should be doing..? Laundry, or cleaning, or shooting something, or something?

[ _{his feathers are ruffled. stupid Sherlock. stupid FUCKING Sherlock. he's so fucking IRRITATED and he's having a hard time focusing on fucking anything. all the voices are angry. his skin is crawling. hell, why can't he focus on anything? he's been scrolling past the same apps on his phone for the last few minutes. he hasn't even noticed he just said "something" three times in a row.} ]

I'm busy.

[sebastian]

[ can you not though ]

I recommend poker. Or bridge. Smart people like bridge.

[ excuse you he is not laying around, he is attempting to make conversation. that is a very useful thing to be doing. ]

Laundry was taken care of, cleaning's being taken care of, and as for shooting, can't very well go off firing my guns if I ain't got anything to shoot at. Give me a target and I'll see to it, yeah? [ a grin, the kind where his eyes light up and even sparkle a little. the prospect of a proper hunt brings a fire to his blood like no other.

as for the irritation, well, that's par for the course with Moriarty. best just not bring too much attention to it, maybe annoy him into a raise or at least something to do. ]

Oh, is this what you call busy now? Mouthing off to your mundane until she decides to give you a good slap for being smart? Going to give you some advice, pal-of-mine: don't. Thought I'd get away with much of the same thing, little playful jab back and forth, nothing to worry about. Know where that's gotten me? Twenty-fucking-thousand leagues until the sea playing three card brag with Ayn Rand's wet dream. It'll happen to you too, you know.

[ actually you know what, while he's at talking at Moriarty without the slightest clue whether or not that other man's listening to him, he might as well continue: ] Seriously, of all the shit she could have found, islands with collars where everyone has to have sex to avoid dying, or a nice, rollicking adventure with some big game to kill or maybe some pretty girlies to impress, she picks the one featuring meth heads with super powers and zombie children. You'd think I took a shit in her cereal or something with the punishment I've received.

[ weh weh listen to my plights boss my life is HARD ]

1//2

[sneakyshoes]

[ _{fjghfkldjghflgjfjdklgjkg mORAN} ]

[sneakyshoes]

[ _{whatever whatever WHATEVER} ]

Does anyone even play Bridge anymore..?

[ _{siiiiigh. ..wait. sex and zombies and wHAT} ]

Sex island, huh. That would be interesting, from a sociological standpoint. Wouldn't it? Oooh, I wonder. I wonder. [ _{good boy- start distracting him. he muses about that for a second. and back to zombie kids and crazy drugs or what the fuck ever.} ] It's too bad I can't come with you. That sounds fun. _{Control the drugs. Push the tides of crazy one way or the other. Maybe rule that silly little city. I know that fat businessman used to live there, didn't he? Hum.}

[ _{...wait, underwater?} ] Humm. Or not. Underwater.. Hm. [ _{hope you don't mind his talking to himself here.} ] Don't think I'd like that all that much. _{No, no, no. Too wet. Much too much wet.}

[ _{fuck water, man. fuck it.} ]