On narrowly escaping a terrible pun for a username.

[awfulsentimetal]

Of course I have an alloy in me, I was built with a titanium alloy spine--what do you mean I'm missing the point? I'm not missing the point. The point is right here next to my pocket square--darn-it. I'm gonna have to have it sewn in one of these days.

I am not tryin' to change the subject.

...You want me to sing the song.

Okay, now I'm changing the subject.

[...]

So, how about those, uh, trees? Pretty leafy this time of year--

[Sigh. A-hem.]

Fine, fine, I'm singing it. I'm an automaton of my word, wouldn't want it said I ever backed out of a deal--but it's under duress. As long as we're clear on that. Never thought I'd be singing somethin' by Dandy Rewman.

[The silver automaton picks up his guitar and strums a chord.]

You've got an al-loy in me
You've got an al-loy in me
thisisridiculous
You just remember what your pappy said
Boy you've got an al-loy in me
Waitaminute

[Deadpan.]

It's a pun.

Comments

[malfunctionbot]

[UH OH SOMEONE HEARD THAT.]

That was a pun.

[awfulsentimetal]

[HE KNOWS RABBIT. Oh, he knows.]

Hi, Rabbit.

[malfunctionbot]

Hi, Th'Spine! [WAVING cause he can] Enjoyin' awkward conversations with yer headspace p-person?

[mybackstory]

They're terrible people.

[Muns in general. Hi.]

[malfunctionbot]

That's pretty rude there, Spine Number, uh, I dunno, what are we up t' by now? Eleven?

[mybackstory]

I'm going by the two we have, and they're pretty terrible people when left alone. [RUDE.] Four, I believe. Including me.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Blank stare. After a moment he blinks and straightens his tie, not quite sure what to make of being face-to-face with himself.]

...I'm gettin' that impression pretty quick.

[lovesbobbydarin]

[O-okay, kinda cracking up at that, and doing a reeeeally bad job of hiding the giggle!]

What, you don't like Dandy Rewman, Spine? That's like not likin' toy cowboys or space rangers!

[malfunctionbot]

Th'Jon, that's almost as bad as gettin' Bobby Darin's n-n-name wrong. [Don't be insulting Randy Newman or Rabbit is gonna be forced to do his impersonation of him all over again and you know that will last hours]

[awfulsentimetal]

[JON. Jon, stop laughing. THIS IS SERIOUS JON. It was a pun.]

Now, Jon, you know I like toy cowboys and space rangers just fine.

[bluematters]

[BECAUSE SOMEONE SAID 'PAPPY.']

Already trying to pull puns over you, The Spine?

[Guess who is very much not dead, and young. THIS GUY.]

[malfunctionbot]

[IT WASNT ME IT WASNT ME holy crap i have summoning pappy abilities]

[awfulsentimetal]

[Oh god, it's the Grand Master. He endeavors to stand up a bit straighter, which does absolutely nothing, since his posture was immaculate to begin with. BUT HEY HE MADE THE EFFORT RIGHT.]

Nossir.

[...]

Well. Yessir, but you gotta admit it was a pretty terrible pun. I don't think even Rabbit's dropped a stinker like that.

[notbinary]

At least you didn't get a horrible, borderline offensive username.

I can't really explain, but don't be too down.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Of course, the first impulse is to ask. He peers down at the little human... not that that's saying much, a lot of humans are little to The Spine.]

What's wrong with yours, sport?

[poweredbypepsi]

[What was that flying brass-colored thing coming straight at The Spin- OH THAT IS A THE JON ON YOUR BACK.]

[awfulsentimetal]

[OH NO NOT A JON ON HIS BACK.

He reaches back to detach this sudden growth and freezes when his fingers encounter a tophat and feathers, which may or may not be knocked off in the process.]

The Jon! What've I told you about sneakin' up on people?

[At least this one isn't laughing at him.]

[hatchy]

[Someone's collecting just aboutt the whole family, aren't they?]

That was ter.rible. The Spine.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Soon he shall have them all!

...And then he will never have another moment of peace. Nevermind, someone else can have'em.]

Well, it wasn't my idea, Hatchy. It was this "mundane" thing I seem to have picked up somewhere. Thinkin' maybe it's time for a virus check.

[eyestothesky]

Well at least my mun's never done that to me.

...And that's saying something.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Have some more deadpan, me. You. Other The Spine.]

Wanna trade?

[steammanmechanic]

[Have your mechanic here, Spine. Just waving at you.] I think you should leave the puns up to Rabbit... Even if they're terrible.

[awfulsentimetal]

It wasn't my idea!

[It really wasn't. Why him. WHY.

He finds himself half-smiling anyway.]

Good to see you, Mister Reed. Everythin' holdin' up okay?

[dropthebase]

[Excuse Delilah while she tries very hard not to giggle at your misfortune, Spine.]

[awfulsentimetal]

[He isn't sure whether he should be exasperated or smiling. Either way, he thinks he recognizes this woman. Maybe from an old photograph?

He tips his hat politely.]

Ma'am.