On narrowly escaping a terrible pun for a username.

[awfulsentimetal]

Of course I have an alloy in me, I was built with a titanium alloy spine--what do you mean I'm missing the point? I'm not missing the point. The point is right here next to my pocket square--darn-it. I'm gonna have to have it sewn in one of these days.

I am not tryin' to change the subject.

...You want me to sing the song.

Okay, now I'm changing the subject.

[...]

So, how about those, uh, trees? Pretty leafy this time of year--

[Sigh. A-hem.]

Fine, fine, I'm singing it. I'm an automaton of my word, wouldn't want it said I ever backed out of a deal--but it's under duress. As long as we're clear on that. Never thought I'd be singing somethin' by Dandy Rewman.

[The silver automaton picks up his guitar and strums a chord.]

You've got an al-loy in me
You've got an al-loy in me
thisisridiculous
You just remember what your pappy said
Boy you've got an al-loy in me
Waitaminute

[Deadpan.]

It's a pun.

Comments

[malfunctionbot]

[UH OH SOMEONE HEARD THAT.]

That was a pun.

[awfulsentimetal]

[HE KNOWS RABBIT. Oh, he knows.]

Hi, Rabbit.

[malfunctionbot]

Hi, Th'Spine! [WAVING cause he can] Enjoyin' awkward conversations with yer headspace p-person?

[awfulsentimetal]

Enjoyin' is a word.

[Rabbit if you wave too hard your arm might fall off, stoppit.]

Not the word I'd choose, but it's, eh, a word for sure. So this is the "headspace" then, is it? Thought maybe I'd wandered into the weird part of the internet for a bit there.

[malfunctionbot]

[SHADUP DON'T BE RUDE TO YOUR BIG BROTHER.] Internet. Headspace. Albuquerque. [A creaking shrug of those crooked shoulders.] All th' s-same basically.

[What. No that doesn't even make sense, Rabbit. No.

Though then he is leaning in a little, conspiratorial like towards the taller automaton.] If ya r-really wanna see weird on th' internet, I know this one t-tag on tumblr where-...

[mybackstory]

They're terrible people.

[Muns in general. Hi.]

[malfunctionbot]

That's pretty rude there, Spine Number, uh, I dunno, what are we up t' by now? Eleven?

[mybackstory]

I'm going by the two we have, and they're pretty terrible people when left alone. [RUDE.] Four, I believe. Including me.

[awfulsentimetal]

[Here, have some more of that deadpan.]

Albuquerque is a city, Rabbit. Y'know, with people. And cars. And burritos.

[He resists the urge to stick his fingers in his audio receptors. NOPE. No, don't want to know.

He leans away slightly.]

I think I'm okay not knowin', really, no need to elaborate--so, uh, is it just the two of us here?

[malfunctionbot]

Oh, well. Guess I c-can't argue with ya there. As fun as it is t' bounce stupid ideas offa her twisted, squishy head with her, mine's a real- [CENSOR, RABBIT. CENSOR.] -...uh, not nice lady.

[Then there may or may not be the very distinct grumble of a FOUR TOO MANY IF YA ASK ME under that not real breath. Yep. Four stick-in-the-mud Spines. Dear Robot Christ, that was a lot for him to handle.]

[mybackstory]

[He is going to be ignoring that grumbling, thank you very much. One Rabbit's too many and how many of THOSE are running around? However many is too many.]

I think we both know how 'not nice' she is, and mine isn't any better. You've seen what happens when that's combined.

[malfunctionbot]

[Mmm burritos...]

Nope! Gotta whole gaggle o' us here! [A clicking tilt of his head at that, considering and too thoughtful for Rabbit.] It's gaggle, ain't it? A gaggle o' robuts? Eeeh, sounds 'bout r-r-right.

Where I'm f-from, we gots a me, duh-[Ticking off names on his fingers], a Hatchy, two Th'Spines, two Th'Jons, a Pappy, a Mistah Reed, an' a M-Miss Moreau. I think that's it. S-so far. Who knows who'll pop up next.

[lovesbobbydarin]

[O-okay, kinda cracking up at that, and doing a reeeeally bad job of hiding the giggle!]

What, you don't like Dandy Rewman, Spine? That's like not likin' toy cowboys or space rangers!

[awfulsentimetal]

[Blank stare. After a moment he blinks and straightens his tie, not quite sure what to make of being face-to-face with himself.]

...I'm gettin' that impression pretty quick.

[malfunctionbot]

[HEY AT LEAST YOU ONLY LIVE WITH ONE. Be grateful for that, ya jerk.]

Ya, our muns go r-real nutso together. All them secret threads- [Is that a robot shudder? That's a robot shudder.]

[malfunctionbot]

Th'Jon, that's almost as bad as gettin' Bobby Darin's n-n-name wrong. [Don't be insulting Randy Newman or Rabbit is gonna be forced to do his impersonation of him all over again and you know that will last hours]

psst, feel free to snag any of my icons you might like

[mybackstory]

[He wishes he was not used to this.]

They don't wait long before showing it.

[mybackstory]

[ONE IS TOO MANY. He is grateful for that, though.]

Yeah, let's not talk about the secret threads. There's also the things they've got planned after this month of 'niceness.'

[malfunctionbot]

...Well, at l-least they are lettin' us go t' Disneyland. [As if that erases all past and future terribleness.]

[mybackstory]

Disneyland in a city that used to look like it was straight from the 1800s, and suddenly looked like current day overnight. [It erases nothing and makes it all the more bizarre.]

[awfulsentimetal]

[JON. Jon, stop laughing. THIS IS SERIOUS JON. It was a pun.]

Now, Jon, you know I like toy cowboys and space rangers just fine.

[lovesbobbydarin]

[OH NO NOT THE IMPRESSIONS AGAIN, THE JON CHOOSES LIFE!]

Wha--? Nothing's as bad as getting Bobby Darin's name wrong! Besides, that's what Spine called 'im! Maybe Randy Newman's like... his brother or something. Yeah!

[malfunctionbot]

[HE DOESN'T GET IT, SPINE. WHERE IS THE PROBLEM IN ANY OF THAT?] I wanna g-go on th' tea cup ride!

[malfunctionbot]

[THAT'S RIGHT YOU DO.]

Oh. [Why the hell is he believing that.] Guess that m-makes sense. What kinda songs does he do then?

[mybackstory]

I'm sure Alice would love to go on that with you. [Yep, just gonna.. not try.]