a little test for my favourite boy

[shinjite]

I feel like you shouldn't put me anywhere, mun. I'm fine with where I am now.

[the wrap of his arms around his legs, curled so tight to him. his breathe is low, and his eyes are down-cast, lips pressed into a firm line.]

I'm fine here. Right here. [his voice cracks.]

[locks of his hair brush against his knees. his eyes are not focusing on anything anymore.]

Comments

[shinjite]

[shinji does not recoil this time. in fact, he simply holds his breath.]

You're too kind for your own good. Too kind ...

[5thchild]

[ he gently strokes Shinji for few seconds. ]

That's because I'm always thinking of you.

[shinjite]

[it feels good, not to be touched harshly. or to be afraid for a few minutes. maybe this can be a good thing, and not a bad thing. maybe shinji can believe his words are sincere.]

[he smiles, just barely, and it is sheepish.]

How do I stop being afraid?

[5thchild]

Being afraid isn't what is bad, Shinji-kun. What is bad is for you to become your own fears. Because you need to overcome your fears, but not fight yourself.

[ he will sit close to Shinji now, hand searching for Shinji's ] Remember the good and the happiness you have felt. With such feelings in your heart, you are surely to find the right path to feel them again.

[shinjite]

[shinji makes no move, or rejection towards kaworu's actions. he is nervous and does jump a little when he gets closer, but it's not a large deal and it is hidden by his blush.]

You know so much about everything. I can't seem to understand it, and yet I feel like I can at the same time. I feel like I'm not going to be where your words are for a long time. [he feels his mouth loosening, talking easier.]

[5thchild]

You see, Shinji-kun - everything is always changing. And though it looks so dark and grim at first, with the change, there will be lights guiding you and making your path brighter. Until the moment you realize, you are the one who is the brightest and you will lighten up everything around you.

[ Kaworu holds Shinji's hand, lacing his fingers with his ]

Have faith in yourself and the world around you. Fear change and the new, but don't reject it. And one day, all of this suffering will fade.

[shinjite]

[He desperately wants to believe every word, every syllable. He wants to believe it so much, too much; he gently squeezes Kaworu's hand in reciprocation, feeling comfort after such nice words.] With those words, my earlier troubles seem a little smaller. That's kind of amazing.

Can we stay like this for a little longer? [He asks quickly, looking away, frightened.]

[5thchild]

I'm glad I was able to help.

[ he nods after ] of course, Shinji-kun. For as long you'd like.