RE: MUN'S CONTEMPLATION OF HUNGER GAME RP

[sleeplessinalternia]

Holy fuck, mun, what the hell do you think you're doing trying to send me to this shithive? Yeah, it's not much more brutal that professional bloodsports, but at least those games have a higher survival rate than just one. Plus, you're being a gargantuan infant cluckbeast about whether or not you can even write OU Me properly.

Do you even have time to finish the fucking app?

Comments

[69problems]

I'm sure that if your mun is uncertain of your voice, a little practice is all they need. From what my mun tells me, the way you speak is very...

[How to put this politely.]

Distinct.

And inventive.

[cherrybombpie]

Mr. Karkat! ♥

[Dangling from the ceiling on a swing made of a gymnastic ribbon. Yes, she's hardcore.]

There you are! I've been looking all over for you!

[sleeplessinalternia]

[Stares. At the weird human girl with the crazy eyes. That he has never seen before in his life. Because he'd never seen any humans before in his life, given the canon point his mun is planning on drawing him from.

It wouldn't help if she drew him from later in canon, really. Nothing could prepare him for this girl.]

What the actual fuck...?

[Okay, sickles out. He's standing guarded against this alien girl who somehow recognizes him because this is weird as fuck and he doesn't have to take this.]

[cherrybombpie]

Is that how you greet an old friend?

[She pouted sweetly at him, leaping down from where she was perched. Her ribbons furled neatly back into her kimono sleeves as though the had never been.]

Tut tut! ♥

[Kodachi gave him a saccharine smile, tilting her head to one side before leaping at him to give him a tight embrace.]

I've missed you so~!

[sleeplessinalternia]

Is it? Whoop de fucking doo. The fact still remains that she's a cluckbeast of immense proportions and I might as well stick my head in the ablution trap and hold it down until I pass out because she's an utter embarassment as a mun and I sure as fuck do not want to go to this game.

[Karkat's eyes narrow.]

Oh fuck. She's telling me to tell you to say hi to your mun. I think they know each other.

[69problems]

I don't see what that would accomplish except making your face smell like ablution trap for the foreseeable future.

And they probably do. In my experience, muns travel in packs.

[sleeplessinalternia]

[Unfortunately, strange adult troll with the creepily familiar horns has a point. Damn him.]

What are they some sort of fucking herdbeast? If we're about to see the graceful and majestic munbeasts go thundering over the plain then I am getting the fuck out.

[69problems]

I don't know if you can. Muns are pretty dedicated. I tried a post here calmly explaining to mine what a bad idea putting a pacifist into a deathmatch was, and as you can see he didn't listen.

[Shhh, small troll with the gray symbol and creepily familiar horns. Shh.]

If it's any consolation you're not the only one.

[sleeplessinalternia]

[Karkat pushes her the fuck away--or at least tries to, as unfortunately the Kuno family has the strength of madness on their side. It doesn't help that he has to drop his sickles to actually push. Argh. Stupid crazy alien girl!]

Okay, look, I have no fucking clue who you are, besides a deranged alien ribbon fetishist--and I don't actually want to know. Just get your grubby claws off me before I tear out your blood gusher and shove it down your protein chute.

[Hello Kodachi, you have a madly flailing angry adolescent troll boy in your arms.]

[sleeplessinalternia]

[Okay, Karkat is just staring at him now.]

A pacifist? A pacifist? Do you think I was hatched last night? How the fuck do you reach your adult moult as a fucking pacifist? That's the biggest mound of beastshit I've had the displeasure of filling my spongeclots with.

[Sorry, Signless, but any troll who thinks he's a pacifist is either shithive maggots, about to be very dead, or both.]

[69problems]

Oh, it's not difficult, really. All you need is common sense and the ability to not be in the same place as trolls that want to cull you.

[Come on, small troll kid, you've clearly moulted a few times and should know those simple precautions by now.]

[sleeplessinalternia]

[Karkat is rolling his eyes now.]

Look, I'm not asking how you got through your Alternian sweeps without having to shed blood, because I am perfectly aware that kind of shit is a feasible way of living if lobeshrivelingly lame.

I'm asking how you managed not to get your nubby ass culled at Conscription when you told the recruitment drones about your treasonous non-violence ways.

[xanthous]

You can't make them change their mind, you know.

[Ehehehehehe. Poor baby troll. You'll learn, eventually.]

[sleeplessinalternia]

I can sure as fuck try.

[He is definitely giving you the side lookstub, adult troll who creepily resembles Sollux.]

[xanthous]

Try to sway the person who's in control of your fate?

[He even lisps like Sollux, but his mun doesn't want to type it out right now. Let's just use our imaginaaaaations.]

When you've been around as long as I have, you'll know better.

[sleeplessinalternia]

[Yeah, like that doesn't make it creepier.]

Yeah, and how many sweeps has your geriatric ass been around?

[antedupmyheart]

Time is always the question, in matters like these.

[sleeplessinalternia]

Is cryptic beastshit also included in this? Because you're sure making it sound that way, nookstain.

[antedupmyheart]

What else would muns communicate in?

[69problems]

You know, I'd think being conscripted by the Empire would count as being in the same place as trolls that want to cull you.

[Oh, poor Karkat, you're talking to a troll from before the time of 100% mandatory conscription.]

They would have culled me long before conscripting me anyway. What with the being a heretic and a mutant, you know.

[VAST SHRUG.]

[sleeplessinalternia]

Yeah, well, it's pretty fucking hard to avoid them, especially since Conscription is fucking mandatory. What have you been doing, pretending to be a juvenile? You might have the height for one, but you're definitely an adult. Your irises have even fill... in...

[Oh. Oh holy fuck. Karkat has just noticed the candyred shade of the older troll's eyes and he is busy freaking the fuck out.]

HOLY BULGEFUCKING SHIT YOU'RE A FUCKING MUTANT.

[Yes. Yes he is, Karkat. Just like you.]

[sleeplessinalternia]

I only wish mine were cryptic.

[antedupmyheart]

Are you certain? It's not a thing that's easy to bear, when they are.

[69problems]

[WOW KARKAT, TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. Did the obnoxious red speed lines on his Righteous Leggings not give it away?]

Conscription is hardly mandatory at the point in our history that I'm from, which my mun informs me is at least a thousand sweeps prior to your time, and even if it were I would refuse to participate.

I haven't been pretending to be anything other than what I am. Which is a mutant, yes.

[sleeplessinalternia]

[SHUT UP. He thought you were just trying to be gaudy. It's not like he doesn't have friends that accessorize with colors that aren't their own.

He is still freaking out, you know]

HOLY FUCK WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING ALIVE?