Bringin' it back... with bacon. :|b

[ohcrud]

Ay! Mun! How the crud are you so sure that the Civil War wasn't fought over bacon? You're not makin' any kind of sense with all that 'freedom' junk. Who wants to be free from bacon? Nobody, that's who! I say, take all the bacon! If there's a fight, then fight but I'd be the one with all the bacon!

Yeah yeah I know you don't believe me, but how do you know that there wasn't any bacon involved? That's a pretty big deal! I bet those cruddy adults put the wrong stuff in books so they can have all the bacon to themselves!

[Pause because laughing.]

It's not funny!

Comments

[numbuhthree]

Ooo. Were there pancakes, too? With lots of maple syrup!

[ohcrud]

Pancakes? Fat chance! If there's gonna be a fight with blood and guts, it's gonna be over bacon!

[numbuhthree]

But pancakes are yummy!

[ohcrud]

Yeah well being yummy's not gonna start a war!

[numbuhthree]

Maybe there wouldn't have been one if they just had pancakes. Hmmmmm?

[ohcrud]

Pancakes without bacon? Are you mad, lady! That's like cereal with no milk!

[numbuhthree]

I have pancakes without bacon all the time!

[ohcrud]

[Wally rolls his eyes, facepalms, and groans. Is he surprised? Not really. She's lucky he has a major crush on her so he'll let her slide on this one.]

You're crazy! At least it's better than that Rainbow Muchies junk, that's for sure.

[soyoudonthaveto]

(No way.

No. Fucking. Way.

There was just no way in hell anyone could be that stupid. There wasn't any logical way GODDAMN PLOTHOLE! that someone could literally say something so stupid.

Paris Hilton wasn't that stupid. Michael Bay movies weren't that stupid. Adam Sandler movi-ok, those were close, and probably were.

Hell, even half the stuff Chester said came more from the fact that he was high- And then it hit the Critic.)

Kid, have you been smoking anything? You do know that drugs are bad for you, right?

[ohcrud]

Who are you calling stupid!

What the crud are you talking about!

[stitchedupbodyguard]

[Hello number four. Have a stitched together teenager looking down at you and trying to be helpful.]

Actually the civil war was fought because of political differences, not...bacon.

[ohcrud]

That's just a fancy way of saying it, isn't it? It's all the same cruddy thing!

[Bacon forever, man.]

[stitchedupbodyguard]

...

[Wow.]

No...no it's not.

But I guess kids wouldn't be suspected to know some thing like that right?

[ohcrud]

What's that supposed to mean? Just because I'm a kid doesn't mean nothin'!

Cruddy teenagers...

[herr_niemand]

Danny boy, you couldn't be more wrong. The Civil War was fought over the size of Abraham Lincoln's hat brim and that's the gospel truth.

[ohcrud]

Whoa whoa whoa, who's Danny? And if that's what the Civil War was about then where does that leave the bacon? That makes no sense!