Nonsense Alfred, I have somewhat more important matters than to deal with than entering relationships. Besides, unless I was going to lay down the cape and cowl it wouldn't be an honest one.
Huh. [When this Bruce is thinking, you can almost picture him in nerd goggles. ...If that nerd built pipe bombs.]
Well, word of advice from my universe, then: meddle. Trust me. First date I had in years was because Alfred gave her a tour of the Batcave while I was working.
...But uh, word of advice from me, find a way to meddle that doesn't involve sneaking up on me.
It has always been an honor t'watch after th'last of th'Wayne family. Make no mistake, sir.
[Srsly. he hassles you, but it is out of love ♥]
Besides, this is a matter that is a bit... more light-hearted than th'usual state of affairs. [Meaning beating the shit out of people on a regular basis] While it is frustrating t'see you struggle with simple concepts, it also serves t'give me a great deal of amusement.
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it is way too early for this bullshit.
But he will roll with it.]
And I'm beginnin' t'think you are too, Master Wayne.
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I'm more than capable of reason, circumstances can simply be too perilous for it at times. I am, after all, only one man.
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[SEE BRUCE.
SEE!?]
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Unfortunately for you, sir, it's not me who has my eyes on someone. It's you.
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Nonsense Alfred, I have somewhat more important matters than to deal with than entering relationships. Besides, unless I was going to lay down the cape and cowl it wouldn't be an honest one.
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[He cannot with you at all]
And I think this, specific, woman may be able t'handle your other face.
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Though, I can't say I disagree with that last bit.
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He'll come around. They always do. It's keeping them there that's the hard part.
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[Doesn't quite know your name yet]
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[ She nods, fighting a smile. ]
No, I haven't had the pleasure yet. If I had, I'd have a whole lot more to deal with than just millionaire playboy---philanthropists.
[ Excellent word that is. ]
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YAY HEADSPACE TALK]Well, we both have plenty enough on our plates as it is. I do believe there should be a union for us baby-sitting playboy types.
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Even with a union, I still don't think we'd get paid what we deserve.
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[Bff?]
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[ You bet. ]
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[ That's not you, is it Alfred? ]
Oh, are you the cleanup crew too?
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Except for one of his super model or dancing friends. I'm afraid I don't have th'figure for it.
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[Where's the frail butler what did you do with him]
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Hardly. I leave the heavy lifting to you, sir.
It appears that you are a part of a separate "universe" then me. It would explain our changed appearances.
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Well, word of advice from my universe, then: meddle. Trust me. First date I had in years was because Alfred gave her a tour of the Batcave while I was working.
...But uh, word of advice from me, find a way to meddle that doesn't involve sneaking up on me.
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ZSNAPPING ALL OVER THIS HEADSPACE]I believe this may be one area where tryin' t'find a middle ground would be most beneficial. For th'both of us.
[HE DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE TO BE A JAMAICAN CRAB OR A BUNCH OF GREEK MUSES FOR YOU BRUCE. HE IS TOO OLD FOR THIS.]
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[HE IS IN DENIAL. FOREVER IN DENIAL.]
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[That's a lie, Bruce.]
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Next you'll be tellin' me water isn't wet.
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Well, I might not always be the easiest to deal with, but....
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If I may be frank, Master Wayne, dealing with you is enough to send a man t'his early grave.
[There's a beleaguered sigh and a resigned smile.]
But I suppose that's what I deserve for continuing to watch over you.
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I might believe that if I weren't talking to you, Alfred. As things stand, I'm not sure you'll be able to convince me of that.
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[Srsly. he hassles you, but it is out of love ♥]
Besides, this is a matter that is a bit... more light-hearted than th'usual state of affairs. [Meaning beating the shit out of people on a regular basis] While it is frustrating t'see you struggle with simple concepts, it also serves t'give me a great deal of amusement.
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Good to know someone gets something out of it.
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I get no enjoyment out of your pain, Master Wayne. However, I do get a great deal out of your happiness.
[Even if--- Nope. Especially if there is hilarious awkward fumbling.]
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[sometimes.
sometimes.]
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[Pause.]
Or trying to keep me from sneaking out after curfew.
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[Dick is very, very used to Bruce not listening to him. :|]