Canon is BBC!Sherlock. This seemed like such a great idea until I decided to actually test it.

[moranic]

Will you stop fretting about the history and the particulars? What's past is dead, probably at the hands of yours truly. You're gonna be proven dead wrong in a few months anyway, so fuck it. Just give me something to shoot. Or something to drink. Or both. You're boring me and the end result ain't gonna be good for anybody.

What, and now you're worried about looking stupid-- Oh, piss off. Go back to the tosser with the tweed, you haven't got the sac for a guy like me. Shit or get off the pot, come on.

Comments

Why

[menticide]

I thought looking stupid came naturally to you.

Don't you "why" me THIS IS ALL YOU

[moranic]

Now I know you're just saying that because everyone looks stupid to you.

[omg boss love me :(]

Uh thats a lie

[menticide]

And you look stupid to everyone.

[moranic]

So nobody sees me coming, yeah? Think I'm not a threat and then BAM, right between the eyes. It's fucking genius.

[menticide]

Incredible. I can't believe I'm not the one working for you.

[moranic]

I think our current arrangement is really the best way to go.

The idea of you as a sniper is troubling.

[menticide]

It's called sarcasm you insufferable moron.

[moranic]

Moran. [Yeah, he's grinning.]

See? It works. You're underestimating me right now even though you know better than anyone what I can do.

[menticide]

I'm also questioning whether or not it's worth keeping you employed for.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Well, this is interesting.

[moranic]

I happen to be very, very interesting. Maybe even as much as a girl who whips men for a living.

[He's just gonna sliiiide up to you all smooth-like.]

Hi.

[womanwhobeatyou]

[A raised eyebrow, and she rests a firm hand and long, red-tipped nails against his chest.]

'Girl'? Try again, dear.

[moranic]

[He's taking that hand as a good sign.]

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Woman who whips men for a living. See, I can be enlightened too.

[womanwhobeatyou]

[Your funeral, Moran.]

Tsk tsk. You're mixing up 'trained' and 'enlightened' again, Sebastian.

[moranic]

Now, now. Continue like that and you'll hurt my feelings. And I won't tolerate the abuse of my psyche.

Only my body.

[womanwhobeatyou]

Come now, pet. We both know I only abuse your body for money. Your feelings, I hurt for fun.

[sebastian]

I like the cut of your jib, chummy. Even more so than the 'tosser with the tweed'. That's pretty good actually, mind if I use that?