Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tarnishedservant) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2013-03-23 01:22 pm
tarnishedservant) wrote in dear_mun2013-03-23 01:22 pm
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Ever since the 4th Wall Event at DDD, he keeps hinting...
Respectfully, this is not a good idea. You know how angry he was that I was gone even that short amount of time.
[Nervously, Diarmuid's fingers twist the end of the golden earring that wraps around his ear. The earring is shaped like a snake--a very flashy, gaudy, golden snake--whose head sits where the top of his ear meets his head and whose ruby eyes glare out at the world almost as if to challenge it somehow. The snake's body follows the curve of his ear until it reaches his ear lob where another ruby pierces it and lets the tail dangle free. It's this piece that Diarmuid keeps twisting--the motion practiced as if it's something he does a lot.]
How can you even think of asking around to see what games will take AU characters like myself? If you thought he was angry then, just think of how angry he would be to have me completely off on my own! And I--
(So you're saying you wouldn't jump at the chance to be out from under his foot for the first time in 10 years?)
I--
(Be honest. If you remember how to be.)
[Diarmuid doesn't respond. Instead, he just stares out at nothing, fingers still twisting the end of his earring.]
[Nervously, Diarmuid's fingers twist the end of the golden earring that wraps around his ear. The earring is shaped like a snake--a very flashy, gaudy, golden snake--whose head sits where the top of his ear meets his head and whose ruby eyes glare out at the world almost as if to challenge it somehow. The snake's body follows the curve of his ear until it reaches his ear lob where another ruby pierces it and lets the tail dangle free. It's this piece that Diarmuid keeps twisting--the motion practiced as if it's something he does a lot.]
How can you even think of asking around to see what games will take AU characters like myself? If you thought he was angry then, just think of how angry he would be to have me completely off on my own! And I--
(So you're saying you wouldn't jump at the chance to be out from under his foot for the first time in 10 years?)
I--
(Be honest. If you remember how to be.)
[Diarmuid doesn't respond. Instead, he just stares out at nothing, fingers still twisting the end of his earring.]
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He is my master. I would not go against his wishes. It is our mundane that wishes to do so, not I.
[Or so he says.]
My master has always been more than just a servant, and after the war, he was made even more than that. The Grail saw to it when I was 'gifted' to him. I belong to him and as such, my will is his. I want what he wants or tells me to want.
Though, on occasion he is kind to me and gives me things when I petition correctly for them. What else could I ask for?
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Mundanes are like that, sadly. They usually don't care about what you think..but they can be nice sometimes.
[Tohko would be happy about some of the future plans for her down the road..and unhappy at some other ones.]
Gifted..
[Tohko paused at that. A snake earring, and the Grail 'gifting' Diarmuid to this previous Servant..there was no mistaking the coincidence.]
I see. So your Master is Gilgamesh. [Tohko sighed again.]
Diarmuid..you don't belong to him. You belong to you. You can serve him if you choose, but doing so..is your choice. You do have free will, after all. You have the right to choose whom you serve, what you want, what you don't want..and things like that. The fact that he would ignore this..is a little cruel. You could ask for him to stop that.
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That is his name, yes. Do you know of him? He was the first of us. All the world belongs to him.
[As he mentions these things, his lifeless voice makes it clear he's reciting from memory and not because he has any kind of emotional tie to the words.
When she continues, though, he shakes his head.]
No, you must not know him. I do not ask things of him unless they are vitally important--things that I would bear great pain for. Those other things would just waste his time. I am his servant. His will is mine. What I don't want strongly enough to sacrifice for, does not matter.
[There is that dead sound in his voice again and again, it is obvious the words are something he has memorized.]
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Diarmuid..I don't know of him personally, but I have read his tale. After all, I'm Tohko Amano, the book girl. I wouldn't be much of a book girl if I didn't know his story.
[A sigh. She knew this would anger and pain Diarmuid..but she had to say it, even though it was cruel.]
However..I don't think Gilgamesh was the first human being, and the whole world doesn't belong to him. Nor does his will..it just sounds like you're repeating what he beat into your brain after a long period of abuse, Diarmuid. Please..I'm not going to smack you, and I don't think your version of Gilgamesh is here.
[She looks to the ground as she says this, both to hide her distraught look and to avoid seeing how mad Diarmuid would be. Seeing this Diarmuid, a version of her beloved friend like this..was hurting her more than she thought it would.]
Please, speak freely! State what you actually feel! Please..
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However, whatever you are aside, should you ever meet my master or a version of him, I would suggest you not say such things to him. Not if you value your life. And do not twist my words to suit your purposes. I did not say he was the first human. He is not. He is, however the first hero and only king of importance. All of value in the world belongs to him.
[There is anger in his words, but the anger is more than born of duty than true emotion. Along with that anger, though, there is a more true emotion.
Fear.
Speak freely? How dare she taunt him with something that he has not had the ability to do for the last ten years? Something, that to do would bring him death so quickly he would not even know what happened to him?
And how dare he actually be tempted to take her offer?]
You do not know what you offer. Don't offer it again.
..And here I thought a thread couldn't stab me in the gut..;_;
It's alright..not many people do. Back in my universe, I loved and knew the most about books, so I had the title of 'book girl'.
Thank you for your suggestion..[Not that Tohko would probably follow that advice in the future.]..and I apologize. It wasn't a twisting of words..it was more a misinterpretation. However, I don't think he's the first hero. There were probably oral tales of other heroes long before Gilgamesh. And there are many other heroes and kings that are equal or have more importance to Gilgamesh, in my opinion. Not everything belongs to him, and some things never will be his.
[Tohko managed to hear the fear in Diarmuid's voice. Not much of it, but..some. And that was enough. He was scared of Gilgamesh. However..Diarmuid didn't have to be.]
..I know exactly what I offer, Diarmuid.
[And this time, she looks him full in the face. She's still a bit sad..but she's looking more determined than pained now.]
You don't have to be frightened! You don't have to be scared! Your Gilgamesh doesn't exist here! At least, not yet. For awhile, you can have..a reprieve. A break. Some time to sooth your mind.
*pats* This is definitely a 'Bad End' for him...maybe...
[There is panic in his voice now along with the fear. Diarmuid puts his hands over his ears, curling in on himself as if he expects to be hit for even just hearing these things.
Let alone the fact that part of him wants to listen to her.
When he speaks his voice is small and shaking.]
You don't know what you are saying. I can't have those things. If he finds out...if he finds out he will kill me! Is that what you want?
[He is quiet for just a moment before whimpering almost inaudibly.]
Master, please...
[Tohko probably doesn't realize it, but after all he's been forced to become use to, her kindness and attempts to help him are are more frightening and painful than many of the things his master has done to him.]
I don't think there's much of a maybe about it..><;
I don't want you to die! Why on Earth would you think that?! You may be a different version of the Diarmuid I know, but I know you're still a good person! I'm involuntary your tormentor at this moment, and that pains me more than you can imagine!
[A line from The Master and Margarita. However, it was how Tohko felt.]
But..your Master isn't here right now! And he doesn't have to find out or know if you two never come into contact again! And if he tries to kill you, I swear I'll stop him! I sweat it on my braids and on my title!
The maybe comes with who you ask... Not EVERYONE thinks it a bad arrangement....
Please don't hit me. Please don't hit me. Please...
[His arms come up over his head and he doesn't even hear the things she says after that. All he can hear repeating in his head are those words.]
Please don't hit me. Please don't hit me. Please don't...
I'm so tired of all the pain...
People like Gilgamesh might think it's fine..
Shh..I'm not going to hurt you, Diarmuid. I'm not going to hit you..that would be the last thing on my mind to do..I'm not going to hurt you..don't worry..
Got it in one...
D-don't!
[Finally, he manages to get words out of his mouth. It seems to be taking a great effort for him to focus though his emotions enough to speak.]
No one but my master is allowed to touch me anymore! He will make me kill whoever does! Please...
GDI, Gigamesh..
I'm sorry..I didn't mean to scare you so that you fell. Are you okay?
[She then sighed again.]
..Gilgamesh isn't here, Diarmuid. He can't order you to kill anyone here. And..if he does order you to do that..
[Tohko knows this would pain Diarmuid. After all, he was a knight, just like the Lancer she knew. But, however painful, it was still an option that he could take.]
Then you could choose not to. You have free will, after all. And..if that wasn't enough, then I would run away! Or..or..I would end myself to spare you the pain.
[Just saying that makes her cry even harder, but she forced herself to keep speaking. He needed her help, after all.]
..I hate that option, but it's an option nonetheless! But..I don't think your Master is here right now, so..you don't have to worry..
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[Diarmuid laughs and it's a frighteningly unsteady sound.]
Even if that wouldn't mean death from his wrath, he has my command spells. If I say no, he will merely order me to do it!
[He pins an odd look on her. He can't understand her. Why is she getting so upset over him? Offering to kill herself for him? Even if she knows a different version of him, it is a different version. He's nothing to her!]
My life is not worth yours. Don't you even consider spilling your own blood for me. I will hate you. Do you understand me? I will never forgive you for such a stupid action!
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I'm mad..you're mad..we're all mad here. However..even if he has your command spells..if your will is strong enough, aren't you able to disregard them?
[Information from the mundane could be so shaky at times. However, Tohko didn't understand the weird look he was giving her. While he may have thought that he was nothing to her, Tohko bonded very quickly to people, and she knew that this Diarmuid, broken as he was, was still a very, very kind soul.]
..I think my life is worth yours. After all, despite your pain, you seem to be a good person. However..if I am to die, if I can take away the pain that being my murderer would inflict on you, then I wouldn't mind. As long as my friends and the people I know are fine, then I don't mind what happens to me.
So..I won't really be able to forgive you either, Diarmuid, if you don't take advantage of this open cage door and try to fly, even just a little. Please..
no subject
[He laughs that same half-crazed laugh again.]
If you truly believe that then you really are mad.
[Diarmuid really cannot understand her. Why doesn't she stop? If she cares so much, why does she keep paining him? Keep pushing him toward the edge of breaking completely?
How can one with no wings be expected to fly anywhere?]
I want you to go.
[While there is still unsteadiness in his eyes, Diarmuid's voice is suddenly anything but unsteady. He pulls himself to his feet, an icy aura filling the air around him. Was this anyway for a servant of the King of Heroes to act?
No, and he will need to find a way to do penance for his actions later, but first he needs to get this girl to go.]
I don't want to hear anymore of these foolish words of yours. You know not what you speak of. Go back to the Diarmuid you know. Help him. Leave this caged beast in his gilded cage.
He rather likes it there.
no subject
After all, birds could walk if they lost their wings. Or swim. Just look at penguins.
Tohko sighed and scratched her head for a moment as she spoke.]
..It's possible. After all, in a place like this, countless things are. Things that you or I probably didn't know were. That may be one of them.
[As Diarmuid stood to his feet and spoke, Tohko disregarded his icy air..if she could feel it at all. However..she sadly chuckled as she stood..and gave Diarmuid a sad smile.]
I know exactly of what I speak of, Diarmuid. I may misinterpret things sometimes, but I try not to get whole things wrong. It leaves people dead.
[Speaking from experience here.]
But you know..the Diarmuid I know said almost the exact same thing to me once..after thinking that he had suffered at least a thousand years of torture and torment.
[She then sighed.]
Why would you like a cage that hurt you as much as a thousand years could?! I'll leave soon..but I at least want an answer to that. I know I haven't known you long..but I still want to help you. You don't seem like a bad person.
threadjacking if okay?
[A ringing voice cuts into their conversation. If they were to follow the voice, they would see Gilgamesh, decked out in her armor and perching some place high.]
Perhaps you do, seeing the slanders you aim at the first hero.
This will not end well... AKA: It's fine with me! LOL!
He stops, though, when he hears that voice. He remembers it from an earlier conversation. Diarmuid's eyes search the area, finally spotting a familiar gold head high above them.
A couple of steps put him behind and below her lofty position, his head bowed. She's not his master. He had told her that much when they talked, but as a version of his master he will give her the respect she deserves.
And maybe at the same time, his positioning and actions toward her will finally prove to the girl what his words have not been able to.]
Actually, this is perfect.
..She had been. She had both her daggers and her lightning ring. Sighing and smiling, she turned to the girl.]
I'm not a dog. I'm Tohko Amano, the book girl, and there's no insult to be had in calling me a dog anyway. They're not horrible creatures.
[She then took a few steps away from Diarmuid, to protect him.]
And you're not the first hero. But you are a horrible person to inflict these terrible wounds on my friend!
[Tohko watched as Diarmuid bowed, but said nothing of it. Knowing him, he was probably doing it to honor his master..even though this master was a horribly cruel one. She didn't know that this version of Gilgamesh wasn't his master at all.]
Tohko is...probably gonna die now
[A mongrel was bad. Even worse was a yapping cur who didn't know her place.]
[The air behind Gilgamesh ripples and shifts. Weapons emerge from those ripples. Even a normal human should tell by the glow that they give off that they are no normal weapons. They are Noble Phantasms, conceptual weapons connected to a hero's very being. Currently there are three Noble Phantasms, each one strong enough to pulverize a human that came into contact with him.]
See the error of your ways!
[The weapons shoot at the girl at high speeds. A Servant might be able to dodge them, but certainly not a human.]
And Diarmuid will be super traumatized...
Ten years ago he would have jumped into that barrage of weapons to try and save her. Ten years ago he would have yelled at the one responsible and called them a coward for attacking one so ill prepared to fight them.
But this isn't ten years ago and even if this isn't his master, Diarmuid knows that once Gilgamesh--any version of him--has made a decision like this, there is no changing it. There is only acceptance.
His eyes close and he turns away as the weapons begin to streak through the air. Lost in the sound of their passing are three very soft words.]
I told you.
And Tohko will try to fight back before dying..
However, that sword had her pinned, she couldn't move an inch as the other two struck her in the back and her right shoulder. As internal organs were smashed, Tohko coughed up a mouthful of blood. However..she was still fighting unconsciousness. She didn't want to go down without even trying to strike back. So, quietly, she spoke to her attacker, not hearing Diarmuid.]
Since..when..
[Using all her concentration, Tohko started to imagine a large storm cloud forming over Gilgamesh. Sweat poured down her face, and she coughed up a bit more blood, but she kept at it. Even if Gilgamesh jumped, it would follow him.]
Was..standing up..for a friend..an error?!
[Quickly, she would snap her fingers, sending a rain of lightning down on him. With that final action, she would die, having used too much of her energy in concentration and using the magic ring she wore.]
no subject
There is friendship...and there is stupidity.
[She would have been happy to let everything sit if it hadn't been for the girl's insistence that Gilgamesh was not the original hero.]
I do hope this is all right?
It's fine by me..how about you guys?
Thanks..sorry about that. I guess you're mad at Gilgamesh too, huh?
LOL! It's fine. More trauma for Diarmuid...
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