Ever since the 4th Wall Event at DDD, he keeps hinting...

[tarnishedservant]

Respectfully, this is not a good idea. You know how angry he was that I was gone even that short amount of time.

[Nervously, Diarmuid's fingers twist the end of the golden earring that wraps around his ear. The earring is shaped like a snake--a very flashy, gaudy, golden snake--whose head sits where the top of his ear meets his head and whose ruby eyes glare out at the world almost as if to challenge it somehow. The snake's body follows the curve of his ear until it reaches his ear lob where another ruby pierces it and lets the tail dangle free. It's this piece that Diarmuid keeps twisting--the motion practiced as if it's something he does a lot.]

How can you even think of asking around to see what games will take AU characters like myself? If you thought he was angry then, just think of how angry he would be to have me completely off on my own! And I--

(So you're saying you wouldn't jump at the chance to be out from under his foot for the first time in 10 years?)

I--

(Be honest. If you remember how to be.)

[Diarmuid doesn't respond. Instead, he just stares out at nothing, fingers still twisting the end of his earring.]

Comments

[eighteen_winters]

If your mun is serious about looking for a game that takes AU characters we could always use more servants at Tower of Animus.

[tarnishedservant]

Thank you, Miss, but...

[Diarmuid's words trail off as he takes a closer look at her. Almost immediately another face pops into his mind. An older woman. One who had never left Saber's side. One who...

He closes his eyes to push the thought away. The last thing he wants to think about is what he had been told was Irisviel's fate at the end of the war.

He also doesn't want to think about what it means that this girl looks so much like her.]

...my opinions on the matter aside, that is the one place I cannot go as my mun already plays one of my brother muses there. I don't believe it would be allowed.

[notsogrimreaper]

Diarmuid-san? Who's going to be angry at you?

[Ryoji fixes Diarmuid with a concerned gaze. A lot of what he's saying is confusing, but if a friend of his is distressed, especially one who's comforted him so many times, he has to do something.]

[screwtherulesihavemoney]

...

[The King of Heroes is staring at Diarmuid, but it is debatable if she actually sees him. He is such a pathetic figure now. Even if his face is familiar, the way he holds himself is certainly not.]

[Even if she can sense him as a fellow Heroic Spirit, his body language is that of a slave or a dog. How absolutely droll.]

[tarnishedservant]

[Diarmuid blinks at the boy for several moments confused as to why someone he doesn't recognize seems so concerned about him. Even if he does know him--though Diarmuid doesn't know how that can be, he doesn't remember anyone who looks like this--why should he care? He's not worthy of being cared about. Perhaps the only person who does care about him is his master and even that really depends on a person's definition of 'care.']

Forgive me, I don't mean to be rude, but do we know each other? Are you an acquaintance of my master's perhaps? Or the priest's?

[Neither is very likely considering how said men treated people, but both ideas would make more sense than Diarmuid knowing the boy since he so rarely leaves the church.]

[notsogrimreaper]

[If Ryoji knew that Diarmuid believed he shouldn't be cared about... it would be a lot to take in. He'd believed the same thing until his Diarmuid had told him that he was a good person, that he deserved friendship and caring for all the care he showed for humans. To have someone who at least looked like him believe that kind of thing would be difficult. It's hard enough knowing that this isn't his friend, just a lookalike.]

Oh... I'm sorry, I know someone similar to you, and I thought you were him. But if we haven't met... my name is Ryoji Mochizuki.

[tarnishedservant]

[For a few moments, all Diarmuid can do is blink at the person before him. That bored, disapproving stare is familiar to him and it strikes terror deep inside of him.]

Remember I only do this because he failed at his task to keep me entertained. See that you don't do the same...

[His master's words spring far too easily into his mind. In fact, he almost has to turn and see if his master is there.

But no, there is only this woman who is and isn't his master all at the same time.]

Who are you?

[He already knows the answer, but he has to ask anyway. It's the only way to make things real in his mind.]

[tarnishedservant]

[Diarmuid bows his head slightly to the boy. Second magic like at that other event? Of course, that would explain things. And hadn't his mun explained this place was like a larger version of that?]

It is a pleasure to meet you, Ryoji. I am Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, though if what you say is true, you already know that. I'm sorry I'm not the person you were looking for. Don't feel as if you must waste your time with me any further.

[And while he doesn't say it out loud, the sentence seems to continue on to say, "for I am not worth your time."]

[tohko_amano]

[Have a semi-puzzled and concerned Tohko, Diarmuid. You're probably one from an alternate universe, but she's..still going to be concerned about you.]

Diarmuid..I don't know who's going to be angry at you, but..could you tell me why they would be? After all, it wouldn't be your fault if you did get sent someplace!

..And what's with the snake earring, if you don't mind my asking?

[Hang on here..]

Is a Gilgamesh-like character bothering you?

[screwtherulesihavemoney]

...

[She waits a good while before saying something in return.]

Such a strange tone for a slave to take. But, very well, consider this a gift from one well above you. In the modern age, I am known as Archer.

[kingofbling]

[He's not really paying close attention, but...]

Yes, yes. Is there some reason you've decided to subject us to this pathetic whining?

[That could be a royal "we" or just a general "we", it's hard to tell.]

[proteusmoon]

There are quite a few places that would take AU variants such as ourselves.

[ Oh, Cecil is aware this isn't the Diarmuid she knows-- that much is obvious --but still, she wants to help. It hurts enough to see him so doubtful of himself in Animus, she can't imagine not helping this one here. ]

[tarnishedservant]

You are correct, of course. I should not question one so similar to my master.

[Diarmuid bows his head to her. The tone of her voice might be different than his master's, but the power and control are the same and are still very easily able to cut down into the part of him that is exactly what she has named him.]

But if you were my master, would you not be angered by me if I did not make sure of such a thing? Especially when the person in question is attempting to pass themselves off as a copy of the most perfect being?

[tarnishedservant]

If my master wishes my presence, Lady, then who am I to deny him that? I should not be off in some game when he might need me to do something for him.

[Sorry, Tohko, you are correct. This Diarmuid doesn't know who you are, though by now he at least not quite so weirded out by people knowing his name.

His hand brushes over the earring, almost seeming to caress it.]

This was part of my last petition for his favor. He wished to decorate me and so he did.

[However, Diarmuid won't so freely answer her next question. Especially since she is a stranger.]

I am afraid you misunderstand. I am not bothered. My master is one others often call the King of Heroes, but to call him a bother is an insult I will not stand for. Indeed. He is my master. I can only hope my actions do not bother him too much.

[tarnishedservant]

[Ah...if the answer from the female version of his master had been unnerving to Diarmuid, this version is even more so, for not only is the power and command in his voice the same, but he also looks and feels almost the same.

His eyes are just slightly different. They are colder, harder, less forgiving.

Diarmuid bows his head and keeps it so as he speaks. If he did not know it would anger his master greatly to have him on his knees before anyone but him--even if that someone is an alternate version of him--he would already be on them.]

My apologies. I did not mean for my 'whining' to irritate anyone. However, as the tool of the King of Heroes I cannot allow myself to be taken from his side like she suggests. At least, not without his permission and that is something he is unlikely to give. It is something our mun needs to understand before there is anymore trouble than there already has been.

Surely you can understand that? Would you wish to have one of your tools taken from you without permission?

[tarnishedservant]

There is?

[The question is out of his mouth before he realizes it and as he realizes what he has said, all the color drains from his face.]

I mean...my mun was under the impression they were rather rare. I had hoped this nonsense would be over quickly...

[Diarmuid turns from her to hide the expression in his eyes. He might have been able to cover up his vocal slip, but he cannot risk letting anyone see the hope that lies deep in his eyes.

The hope that he should not be feeling, but can't quite seem to immediately snuff out.]

[tohko_amano]

[At that, Tohko sighed, gripping her braid for a moment.]

Well..if your Master wished your presence, if you didn't agree with him, you could go against him. However..I don't think your mundane really cares much about that, sadly. Mine doesn't.

[Decorate..so Diarmuid's Master treated him like a piece of furniture-like a room. Like he didn't have any free will at all. That was horrible.]

..I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult you..and I didn't know that Servants could be Masters as well. However..why does he treat you like you have no free will? Even Servants deserve that much, at least.

[Really..she's not trying to insult Diarmuid..but this seems horribly cruel.]

[kingofbling]

To say that I am irritated would be to suggest that you had some impact on me, which is not the case.

The weakness in your tone briefly attracted my notice, no more.

[However, notice attracted, he's willing to consider Diarmuid's question seriously.]

I would not wish it, no. But I would blame the thief rather than the tool. A valued object should be regained, not rebuked. The thief, now, the thief should be punished.

[But he frowns.]

Surely you misspoke. I am the King of Heroes, and you may belong to me, but I've assigned you no special use.

[proteusmoon]

Yes. Immediately I know of two places that will take you and only one will scrutinize over your background to ensure that its logic is sound.

[ That is, outer_divide and mallowhallow, the latter of which has a very small application and Cecil's mun has one of the Americas there-- Alfred. ]

My mun says that you are afraid of... your master.

[ She realizes that he does not know her, but she still feels inclined to show him tenderness -- for now, at least; she rests a hand on his arm. ]

I promise I will not let him hurt you, if I can help it.

[tarnishedservant]

Let me apologize again for my assumption and the vagueness in my words. There is a war just starting in my master and my world right now, and I am not sure how much information he would wish me to share especially since we have just parted ways with the priest.

[Diarmuid falls quiet for a moment, ordering his thoughts in hopes of explaining things more clearly this time.]

I am sure that you are aware that this place allows people from different worlds and universes to meet. The King of Heroes who is my master and claims me as his tool was 'gifted' me by the Grail shortly after the end of the 4th war. For almost 10 years, I remained his toy. It is only recently he has given me slight value beyond that.

It is only he that I would assume might wish to retrieve me if I was taken, not you. I would not dare to assume you would think me of any value. You have no reason.

[Certainly not 10 years of reason...]

And catching the thief might be more difficult than that since it would be our mun. She has much more power over either of us than he would like.

[tarnishedservant]

One of those my mun does not think would be a good environment, but the other she will not let me dismiss so easily...

[For good or ill.]

I mean no disrespect, Lady, but your offer is not needed. He is my master. He can do to me what he wishes. If he wishes me to die, then I will die. That he sometimes gives me the things I ask for in exchange for the things he asks of me is a great kindness on his part.

Why should I fear one so...kind?

[tarnishedservant]

[That is because it IS horribly cruel, Tohko, but that doesn't matter to his master and Diarmuid has been taught not to think anything of it.]

He is my master. I would not go against his wishes. It is our mundane that wishes to do so, not I.

[Or so he says.]

My master has always been more than just a servant, and after the war, he was made even more than that. The Grail saw to it when I was 'gifted' to him. I belong to him and as such, my will is his. I want what he wants or tells me to want.

Though, on occasion he is kind to me and gives me things when I petition correctly for them. What else could I ask for?

[proteusmoon]

Are you a coward or a knight?

[kingofbling]

Spare me your apologies. I have no interest in them.

Parted ways with the priest? [That sounds vaguely interesting.] And for what reason?

I'm well-informed about the nature of this place. I'm aware of my "doubles", and have even spoken to them on occasion, but I see no cause to acknowledge any of them as the true King of Heroes.

[After all, why should he? He knows they'd disagree with him, but whatever, they're not around. Secretly, he maybe likes talking to them. Talking to himself is the best conversation where he's concerned.]

Yes, I myself received no lesser Hero as a gift. I didn't believe you would expect me to retrieve you. That's an--interesting difference.

As for your Master's wrath, from what I understand of these "games", many of them are such that your absence will not be noted, as you will be taken only to return to the very moment you were taken from.

[Gilgamesh raises an eyebrow.]

Hmm? You're unfortunate, then. Mine has no such control over me. Although they do waste their time at this "Mallow Hallow" that someone suggested. Fortunately, I'm not subjected to such absurdities. I leave that to the priest.

[tohko_amano]

[Diarmuid..;_;]

Mundanes are like that, sadly. They usually don't care about what you think..but they can be nice sometimes.

[Tohko would be happy about some of the future plans for her down the road..and unhappy at some other ones.]

Gifted..

[Tohko paused at that. A snake earring, and the Grail 'gifting' Diarmuid to this previous Servant..there was no mistaking the coincidence.]

I see. So your Master is Gilgamesh. [Tohko sighed again.]

Diarmuid..you don't belong to him. You belong to you. You can serve him if you choose, but doing so..is your choice. You do have free will, after all. You have the right to choose whom you serve, what you want, what you don't want..and things like that. The fact that he would ignore this..is a little cruel. You could ask for him to stop that.