Really now.

[renegadedriving]

You think this is a good use of my time, mun? I have a whole damn galaxy to save. And digimon isn't exactly conductive to that.

. . .

What do you mean my guns probably won't work?!  No, some kind of animal isn't a good replacement for bullets!

Comments

[renegadedriving]

You mean there's a part of it that isn't already rigged to explode?

[She grins at the reference to the most sadly neglected part of her apartment.]

I've been meaning to get you in there.

[calibrates_big_guns]

I think there's some tiny corner that might survive. In hindsight, should have just gone with bullet-proofed windows and the glass fixture. Less potential for you accidentally killing yourself.

And it took you this long to ask? [He's grinning himself now.]

[renegadedriving]

Commander Shepard, hero of the galaxy, killed by exploding toilet seat rigged by paranoid boyfriend. What a great news day that would be.

The last time I was in that apartment, there was a hungover Prothean in that bathroom. It seemed to be a bad time.

[calibrates_big_guns]

At least they'd have something better to talk about than celebrity gossip.

Well, we could have just roll him in to the hall. He doesn't tend to care about it being a bad time for anyone else.

[renegadedriving]

It would just end in some very, very weird rumors about the two of us.

You do have a point. I almost want to say we should wear bathing suits for this event, just to see what Turian bathing suits look like.

[calibrates_big_guns]

And a new holiday revolving around beating me in to a pulp for killing the hero of the Citadel.

We don't really have them. [Turians don't often go swimming for aforementioned reasons ... and their society has fewer personal restrictions as far as etiquette goes, at least while not on missions.]

[renegadedriving]

What would they even name that holiday?

A shame, that. Although, now that I'm thinking of it, I haven't owned a bathing suit since I was a teenager.

[calibrates_big_guns]

I'm sure they'd come up with something. People can get very creative when they're angry.

And I'm becoming more and more intrigued by that hot tub by the second.

[renegadedriving]

Am I allowed to preemptively use my spectre authority to cancel this event?

Naked hot tubbing is an ancient earth tradition, you know.

[calibrates_big_guns]

I'm going to go with "yes". [Please let him be right.]

Hmmm, well, I'm not usually that much for old-fashioned things, but this seems like something I can get behind.

[renegadedriving]

I'm replacing it with "Hug a Varren" day. To be celebrated by the same people who would have celebrated the holiday based on beating you, lessen the numbers. We're not getting you into another Omega if I'm not there to pull your ass out of the fire.

Remind me to tell you about Valentine's Day, if you're looking for ancient humans' poorly disguised excuses for sex.

[She pauses.]

Actually, make sure I tell you about Valentine's Day before Joker tries to educate you on it.

[calibrates_big_guns]

I think that'd just about make us even.

You need an excuse?

[renegadedriving]

Then it sounds like a plan to me.

Well. I don't, but a lot of humans? Yeah. They do.

[calibrates_big_guns]

So they made a holiday to get to have sex ... interesting thought process.

[renegadedriving]

Apparently there was a time when fathers could sue their teenaged daughters' boyfriends if they had sex. We're pretty damn weird about sex, as a species.

[calibrates_big_guns]

I'm beginning to get the picture. I guess for all the good ideas humanity has come up with their had to have been a few ... awful ones.

[renegadedriving]

To put it lightly. We've grown out of most of it, though.

[calibrates_big_guns]

Hopefully the naked hot-tubbing is still around.

[If not, then it's time for a comeback.]