In which Pyro ponders what the hell she is getting herself into.

[notintehkitchen]

Miss Mun, I don't really understand why everyone is trying to get me to strip at Sniper's bachelor party.  Your friends are certainly very weird. Are they so excited about this? Oh!  And doesn't that defeat the point of a stripper? I mean.... wouldn't he prefer someone who isn't his soon to be wife? Someone who isn't covered in scars and layers of fat? Why is my immense weight so attractive to him? I.... well.

Scout should pick someone else--and that friendly man should think of another woman besides me too. It's only right to think this way. Besides, I don't like showing skin unless I use the shower.

Comments

[hasstandards]

[Burying his face into his hat and gritting his teeth and linefacing harder than he has ever linefaced before.]

Don't you think this is all a bit... personal to be bringin' up here?

[notintehkitchen]

[There is clearly no way that is even possible. His face has to be permanently stuck that way by now.]

Isn't this a place where we share our personal feelings?

[hasstandards]

Right, but. Ah.

[Just mentioning the M word, right out there where everyone can see. No, he's not embarrassed or ashamed in some way. That's ridiculous.]

Nevermind. Guess I'm just worked up over it. The Mundane's been goin' on about it for weeks now.

[notintehkitchen]

Has she? Mine has too. They seem very excited! Well, I'm so excited too! I wish for therapy I could burn down everything I see! That would calm me down.

[hasstandards]

Would it.

[Of course it would, and Sniper knows it. He's just imagining her burning down half the city again for a second.]

Right. Maybe we'll, um. Do that on the honeymoon.

[notintehkitchen]

Really? That would be the best honeymoon ever! Do I get to do it without getting scolded?

[hasstandards]

So long as you don't burn down half the city and go through the respawn again, yeah.

[notintehkitchen]

.... Can I burn down the ugly parts at least?

[hasstandards]

And which parts would those be?

[notintehkitchen]

I don't know, I have to find them first.

[hasstandards]

You don't think you're eventually gonna burn down the wrong bloke's house?

[notintehkitchen]

What do you mean?

[hasstandards]

There've been vigilantes. Murderers in the city. Not to mention the police might not be all that fond of someone what goes around burnin' things down.

[notintehkitchen]

You should of asked for my help and told me more about this, Mr. Hawk. I can help with such a thing.

[hasstandards]

I was thinking of if they came after you, not me. I can take care of myself, you know. I am a professional.

[notintehkitchen]

...

But you die more often then I do.

[hasstandards]

I haven't died yet in that godawful city, I'll have you know.

[But on the battlefield full of Spies, yeah. He's dead all the time. We're not talking about this.]

[notintehkitchen]

[Yeah, but that's what she was getting at.]

Is it really all that bad? After all, you did get to meet me without my mask on.

[hasstandards]

I could do that back at home if you'd ever take it off.

[notintehkitchen]

And then you would of went running the other way once you found out my secret.

[hasstandards]

I didn't do that in the city.

[He just tried to avoid everyone equally, which isn't much better.]

[notintehkitchen]

You didn't look too happy at first to find out what I was either though.

[hasstandards]

To be fair, luv, I wasn't too happy to be in the city at all.

[notintehkitchen]

But now it's different, right? You got me, Jell-O, Teriyaki and Mr. Hawk No. 2 there.

[hasstandards]

[His eyes flick over her, then away as he fights the smile off his face- it's clear in his mind that he's got a bias toward one of those individuals she listed over all the others.]

Right. It is different, now. Better, honestly.

[notintehkitchen]

[Not that Pyro would notice such a thing herself.]

I'm glad you think so, Mr. Hawk.

[hasstandards]

Of course I do.

[His eyes make their way to her again.]

What, you don't think so?

1/2

[rogueries]

[ ► pisstosser
► marriage
► response: ]

[rogueries]

[ after a moment of hon hon hon... ]

If he were to prefer other women, there would be no marriage in the first place.

[notintehkitchen]

But... I thought he'd want a different woman for one night to ogle in the nude. One with....

[Here come the hand gestures towards her non-existent chest.]

[sandvich_good]

I am...not sure I wish to know story behind this.

[Thinking about his teammates naked isn't something that he wants to be doing right now.

[notintehkitchen]

It's probably best that you don't.

[See keywords.]

[andnowistandalone]

It's an offence to coerce someone to do something they do not when it comes to situations often pertaining to sexual ones. However if you are doing this willingly you open yourself up to a world of possibility that the law may not prosecute for.

I suggest you otherwise refrain, stay away from the suggested people and buildings.

[notintehkitchen]

...

[Was that in English? Have a stare.]

[andnowistandalone]

[And a stare in return. Then again that's the same thing a certain raven haired assistant gives him.

His finger pulls into the white hairs at the side of his face and begins to curl it around one of his fingers.]

You are more vulnerable if you get yourself into otherwise undesirable situations.

[notintehkitchen]

I acknowledge that, but this is for a very important person. If he's important I think I should suck it up and do it.

[andnowistandalone]

You would berate yourself for friendship? For a sniper?

[notintehkitchen]

Sniper is my soon to be husband. I'm not berating myself just for anybody.

[andnowistandalone]

Contradictory.
You do not enjoy showing your skin, but would still engage in activities of open, sanctioned, nudity. All these things make me believe you're being coerced.

I suggest you speak with your husband, from what I see of statistics couples who communicate their distress between one another are more likely not to end in divorce.

[notintehkitchen]

I guess I can try to do that. It wouldn't hurt.

What's your name, little one?