spoilers likely!

[offtheroad]

Look, my "backstory" is my backstory, and no, I don't really feel like getting into it. It's nothing you'd be interested in, and it's over with. 

So do me a favor and don't start with all of this [ he makes a big, sweeping gesture with his arms ] crap. I've got enough to worry about without adding...what did you call it? "Roleplay". [ an eyebrow raise ]

Hate to break it to you kid, but I think you missed the D&D craze by a few decades.

Comments

Way too many. WELCOME TO THUNDERDOME.

[undealt]

[The look he gives his son... is pretty much the look of a cat being told not to claw the sofa. Because wow maybe that sofa could use a few claw marks and it's not that great a sofa anyway.]

I don't want to excuse it. [except for where he kinda does.] I just want to make it right- enough that we can live our lives.

[Because no version of this scenario ends with him not clinging to Neal's leg like a sad puppy.]

SO MUCH PRANCING

[offtheroad]

I have a life. And it's in New York.

[ a deep breath ]

Look, I'm glad Hook didn't kill you. [ THERE HE SAID IT ] But we can't drop everything and start over. That's not how this works.

[undealt]

[HE COULD GO TO NEW YORK.

HE COULD DO THAT.]

Then I'll find another way. A way that makes both of us happy. Bae, I just can't lose you again. [I HAVE HIT THE END OF A THREE-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT YEAR JOURNEY. THIS IS REALLY HARD.

It would probably help if he'd ever get out of the mindset that SON LOVE = PROFIT and do something for Neal's benefit, but NAAAAH.]

[offtheroad]

[ IN NEW YORK YOU GET JAIL TIME FOR LONGER THAN FIVE MINUTES FOR BEATING PEOPLE WITH YOUR CANE JS ]

I can't be happy with magic. You know that. That crap's brought nothing but misfortune on all of us since you brought it in to our lives.

Maybe we just go our separate ways after all this.

[undealt]

[HE THREATENED TO CANE SOMEONE IN AN AIRPORT AND NO ONE QUESTIONED IT. DON'T TEST HIM. HE'LL PULL THE "I'M SCOTTISH" CARD AND EVERYONE WILL GO "Okay."]

You're right. But if I give it up now, I'll be damning the entire town to a lifetime of being trapped. [Most of them he doesn't care about BUT THE FEW HE DOES...]

[offtheroad]

[ NEAL TRIED TO SELL WATCHES AND ALMOST WENT TO FEDERAL PRISON. WHERE IS THE FAIRNESS IN THIS WORLD no let's not ask emma ]

How'd that entire town get here in the first place.

[undealt]

[.....]

A queen who has a great deal of difficulty managing her anger.

[WHAT. IT'S TRUE...]