new muse and possibly with a new home (...or not)

[threetimesfox]

It's great what you're trying to do and all, but honestly, I'm perfectly happy right where I am. I don't require anything from any spirit wish granter thing and, let's not mince words here, I've had quite enough of the dead to last me a bloody long time.

Isn't the ship a bit overstocked at the moment anyway?

Really, I appreciate the offer and all that, but I'd much rather avoid stress for a while, if it's all the same to you.

Comments

[timesbureaucrat]

Very sensible of you. I certainly wouldn't be there if there wasn't something tremendously important at stake.

[threetimesfox]

My sentiments exactly, good sir. I've save the world twice--twice!--now. I'm due for a vacation away from horrible curses and nasty beasties.

[timesbureaucrat]

Oh, the floods, breaches and murders, are far more prevalent than curses or monsters.

[threetimesfox]

[...Meep.]

Is it really that bad? [Politest way of asking 'WHY WOULD YOU EVEN GO THERE VOLUNTARILY?']

[timesbureaucrat]

Some weeks it's almost like a war zone.

But the promise of reward if you're successful is alluring.

[threetimesfox]

Reward, you say? Well, my good man, please do elaborate.

[timesbureaucrat]

The Admiral is a powerful cosmic entity. In exchange for rehabilitating an inmate, you can receive anything you want. Any one wish. Your imagination is the limit.

The whole affair is morally dubious, but if you're comfortable with that there's a lot to be gained.

[evelyn_carnahan]

Jonathan, what trouble are you getting into this time?

[threetimesfox]

My darling sister, I am innocent on all accounts! [Well. Except that one he owes to Johnny...]

[evelyn_carnahan]

Why do I doubt you're being entirely honest with me?

[threetimesfox]

Because you're overprotective and always fret?

[evelyn_carnahan]

Ah yes of course that must be it. Nothing to do with a quarter of my pay going to bail you out or having to find work for you on digs.

[threetimesfox]

Precisely, ol' mum! Besides which, I daresay I paid you back double for everything you've spent.

[evelyn_carnahan]

When have you paid me back? Oh, I know it's not sisterly to keep count but... I've reached my limit I think I really have.

[threetimesfox]

I think rescuing you from certain danger more than once would take a fair amount off that debt.

[evelyn_carnahan]

[Your sister is eying you skeptically, which is more or less reasonable considering her canon point.]

I highly doubt that my life has had any more danger in it without you than it has with you.

[threetimesfox]

[Alas, canon points. Poor Jonathan would much prefer pygmies. They're less confusing.]

Wha--? But you don't remember-? [. . .] Oh. Yes, of course, how silly of me.

[evelyn_carnahan]

Remember what?

[She always remembers, and now you've made her curious. She's going to look sternly at you until you tell her.]

[threetimesfox]

Oh, nothing, you know. The usual assortment of mummies, knives, throwing... stabby things. Quite a fanciful dream I had, actually... [He lies to everyone and sometimes he's just really, really bad at it.]

[evelyn_carnahan]

Dreaming? Honestly Jonathan, would an honest days work be so terminal for you?

[nowthenews]

Awww... You might be surprised just how lively the dead can be. We're not all the same, you know.

[threetimesfox]

[...Erm.]

I think I might rather like to imagine it, ol' chap, if it's all the same. [Squint. Oh, might as well...] What sort of dead are you, then?

[nowthenews]

You don't wanna even guess?

[ The 's' here shows off his teeth in a politician's smile, pearly white and deceivingly normal. Then again, there is the fact that he's inexplicably pale. ]

Let's just say I appreciate a nice, long neck.

[ Like yours, is the implication. ]

[threetimesfox]

[Everyone looks pale to him, he's been a while in the desert. He's aware of vampires as a culture myth but he's far too much a refined gentleman to believe in such nonsense.]

Right, sure. Who doesn't? Attractive things, necks. To some. [No, he hasn't caught on.]

[nowthenews]

You can never go wrong with a good pair-a legs, either.

[ There is a not so subtle drop of his eyes, though he's a little too dignified for an outright leer just yet. ]

What do you like?

[threetimesfox]

[Jonathan will simply chuckle nervously and nod. It seemed a sensible response, as well as the awkward squirming.]

Ah, well, um... [Dark hair, tattoos, rough hands, an accent that makes the desert swoon...] Oh, y-you know. The usual pretty sort. I'm a typical man, I'm afraid, nothing special.

[nowthenews]

You're an atrocious liar, my boy.

[ Suddenly, there's an armchair for the vampire to lean back and fold his hands in. ]

Even if you weren't, I can hear your heart from here. Who's that for, hm?

Are you afraid of leavin' someone behind?

[threetimesfox]

[Gulp.] Yes, well, I suppose, I might fancy a certain someone. It's not as if they know and--no, nevermind.

[Fluttery hand gestures. That subject is closed, or so he thinks. Moving on.]

How can you hear my heartbeat from there? Bit of a talent, isn't it?

[nowthenews]

More like an evolutionary advance.

[ He crosses his legs, one hand falling lazily across his lap while the other rests on the arm of the chair, beating a tempo in time to the other man's pulse with one slender finger. ]

Besides, it got kinda loud there for a little bit. [ His tongue wets his lips. ] Love or lust?

[threetimesfox]

[That tapping is very distracting, almost hypnotic. He catches sight of that tongue and blurts out before thinking:] Lust.

[nowthenews]

[ A slow crooked grin. ]

See, now, innit nice being honest?

You English are always so tight about sex. And then usually the ones that howl the loudest.

Mm mm mm.

[ Shaking his head. ]

[sunburning]

I'd like to tell you that reasoning with them works, but I fear it's a very rare writer who's willing to listen to suggestions from us.

[oneofthosefaces]

[ ....

...

..

what. ]

Well, you're a rather good-looking fellow, aren't you?

[threetimesfox]

I say, old chap, you as well! [Current mental state: ASDFASDLKFL;SDJF;KL;;] So there's two of us now, is there?

[nascensibility]

I'm afraid I can sympathise with you,

[Evelyn notes, not without a hint of but only this once, dear brother.]

Although the manner of which things stand with me is considerably less involved with the living dead and more along the lines of childhood literature realised.

[There aren't any wish-granting spirits in Wonderland, the last time she checked. Although the Cheshire Cat certainly acts the part.]