help.

[5055034455]

Et tu, Brute?

You know what — why don't you go hang out with Walter? I'm sure you'll have a ton to talk about, what with your mutual distrust and lack of faith in me. Come on.

I'm not in over my head. I know exactly what I'm doing, okay? Relax. It'll be fine.

It's all good, mun.

Now go do me a favor and figure out where I can find an exorcist. And, while you're at it, maybe consider making good on your promise to send me to Narnia. I hear it's very nice there this time of year.



...shut up. That "confirms" nothing, especially not your "suspicions."

Comments

[stridercentric]

[Wow, Bro's mun sure is going crazy over this Saul Goodman guy. There must be something pretty special lying beneath that dull lawyer facade.]

Yeah, Narnia sure sounds like a great place to spend spring break, what with the vicious talkin' animals, crazed witches and the wars.

[5055034455]

[Dull? Have you seen what he's wearing, dude?]

I guess you've never been to Albuquerque.

[stridercentric]

[Colorful suits do not a badass make.]

Once. Nice city, pretty rustic. Can't imagine it being any crazier than Narnia, unless you're the one starting trouble in the first place.

[5055034455]

[psh whateva whateva~]

Rustic? That's the word you're gonna go with? Okay; sure. It's rustic.

Anyway, no, I am not a starter of trouble. I'm a lawyer. I deal with the trouble started by other people.

[stridercentric]

So it's an occupational hazard. I dunno if that counts as a reason to complain, man. If you don't like it, you can always quit and go into breeding cacti or some shit.

[5055034455]

...o-oh my god, you're right!

I can quit and go into breeding cacti or some shit!




That suggestion is almost as ridiculous as those glasses of yours.

[stridercentric]

Hey man. Don't diss the shades.

I'm just sayin', maybe instead of seeking shelter in Narnia you could, I dunno, take a break in your own world? But if you're eager to prance around with talking lions and centaurs and shit, I'd say go for it. Use your Mad Lawyer skillz to talk your mun into making it happen and do whatever a guy like you'd do on a holiday in a fictional land.

[5055034455]

You look like you fell off of Lady Gaga's tour bus. I'm just sayin'.

There's no such thing as a break in my world. Trust me. You know what's a hell of a lot easier than completely changing my identity and running off to hide in Venezuela only to eventually be caught and dismembered anyway? Dimension-hopping and going to chill with the White Witch. Ha. Get it?

[stridercentric]

[Was that supposed to be an insult? All it does is make a cheeky grin appear on Bro's face. His glasses are ironic, so looking like he fell off Lady Gaga's tour bus means he's doing it right.] This comin' from the guy who looks like he buys his ties at a joke shop? Really?

Yeah, I see what you did there. Man, that pun's so old it goes all the way back into the ice age. [Hahaaah.] So you're in deep shit in your own world and the best alternative you can come up with is Narnia? That's just makin' me wonder about those "suspicions" your mun has.

[5055034455]

[UGH, HIPSTERS.] George's Gag Galleria, over on Central. You want me to pick you up some better material the next time I go?

I didn't say it was the best alternative. It's one of many.

[stridercentric]

Oh yeah? Next time you accept a 'Get fifteen pink shirts for the price of ten' deal, I'll take one off your hands, sure.

I'd suggest looking into Oz, or maybe Wonderland.

[5055034455]

Deal.

[But he's not shaking on that one. HE WILL NOT SHARE HIS PINK SHIRTS, DAMN IT.]

Oz? I work enough flying monkeys already, thanks. And I'd rather get away from the drugs, so Wonderland's off the table, too.

[stridercentric]

[Oh come on, surely one pink shirt can be spared. Not that Bro really wants one that desperately. He's just here for the hilarious snarky banter.]

Hm... Middle Earth's filled with goddamn Orcs, the Mushroom Kingdom's bursting with drugs too, Hyrule's always falling into Ganondorf's latest reign of terror... How about Neverland? The biggest problem there is piracy.

[5055034455]

[EPIC SQUINT.]

Neverland.

The island full of little kids.

I've been told I look like a creep before, but never a pedophile.

[stridercentric]

Pretty sure Neverland wasn't associated with pedophiles before Michael Jackson came along.

Here, last try before I hand you over to talking lions. Atlantis.

[5055034455]

[A shrug. Shit happens.]

Are we talking the resort in the Bahamas, or the underwater city?

[stridercentric]

I was thinkin' of the city, but the resort works too.

[5055034455]

Well, seeing as I lack gills or magical powers that allow me to breathe underwater, yeah, I'm gonna go with the resort.

Good suggestion.

[stridercentric]

I know. I'm just bursting with good ideas.

[5055034455]

Don't do that. I've just about had it with those kinds of messes.

[stridercentric]

[That remark catches Bro offguard so badly, he can't stop himself from breaking into an amused chuckle. It sounded all kinds of wrong, right there.]

Oh yeah? You've had dudes go off on you before? Just gushin' their good ideas all over you? That's a mess, all right.

[5055034455]

[oh god damn it]

Ha, ha. Don't get excited, Alejandro. You're not my type.

[stridercentric]

Pretty sure that's my line, man. Pudgy balding lawyers don't exactly do it for me, you know, but I'm just so goddamn flattered you considered it for a second.

[5055034455]

Must've been the glasses.

[stridercentric]

Yeah, they've been known to confuse people.