thinking of maybe shipping off to teleios

[soloed]

Since when did I become the top contender for this? Weren't you looking at wolf-lady just like a week ago? What about the guy with all the scars and the chip on his shoulder that would punch vampires repeatedly in the face or something? Why the sudden interest in me again?

I know, I'm nosy and speak my mind too much so hijinks could ensue, I get that. But you've put way more work into the others than me. Are you sure you really wanna consider going down this path? I mean, it took you nearly a whole day just to settle on my damn name. Fleshing out my whole story from the vague details you got's gonna take forever

I don't care if you would have the whole month to work it out, it just won't get done and we both know it.

Comments

[soloed]

Koala? They poop in their sleep. Why would you want to be a koala?

That's good. I mean, non-biological or not, I'd be a little worried if everyone was ready to start stabbing people in the throat all the time in your family.

[kalicatastrophe]

They're unassuming and adorable, and then they rip faces off with their tiny, chubby little paws. Hamsters get vacuumed and college guys so inappropriate things with them, I wouldn't want to be a hamster.

I don't stab people, that so messy. There are other ways to kill people without getting blood all over your shoes.

[soloed]

Wow, okay, point definitely made.

[Images definitely not needed.]

Kill from a distance then or poison? Strangulation seems like it'd still get your shoes scuffed.

[kalicatastrophe]

[VICTORY.]

Well, strangulation depends if they're laying down or not. If they're standing up there's going to be a struggle, but if they're already on the ground you can just tuck your toes on top of their legs.

But usually I just go for distance. Or if I have to: neck snapping, but they take so long to die from that, it's annoying and you usually have to do something else horrendously violent to their brain stem.

[soloed]

I feel like I should be taking notes.

[And staying on your good side.]

[kalicatastrophe]

I could give you lessons.

[soloed]

Do you usually do that?

[kalicatastrophe]

Sometimes while I'm actually doing the assassinating, I give them a step by step run through of what's going to happen so they have the facts straight. But no, I guess not usually. My job blew up last year though, so I'm looking for something new.

Unless you're still a pacifist.

[soloed]

[She worries her lower lip in silence before shrugging.]

Little late for that now, isn't it?

[kalicatastrophe]

No. One instance of violence in defense of a loved one doesn't make you violent, it means your priorities are right. Pacifism should only go so far.

[soloed]

Guess you'd be the expert on it, huh?

[kalicatastrophe]

Yes.

Wait, was that sarcasm?

[soloed]

What? No.

I'm really fluent in smartass, but I can speak English.

[kalicatastrophe]

Oh. Okay, well then I stand by my expertise in murder.

Unless you're Gandhi and have, like, a total thing for salt, I'm pretty sure you can still be a pacifist even if you have been violent before. There are born-again virgins, why can't you be a born again pacifist?

If you wanted, I guess.

[soloed]

I guess I never really put much thought into it. I never really had a choice about it before. Or after.