Happy Valentine's Day!

[holyhandmage]

What? Why did you bring me out here?


...So that Black Mage can see this?! Absolutely not! I refuse to be his valentine!

Comments

You rang?

[helldoken]

Come on, babe. Even if I got you this heart?

[It's in a paper bag. The bag is leaking. Yes, that is a real heart.]

Oh, you. XD

[holyhandmage]

[Ew.]

....That had better not be a human heart in that bag.

[helldoken]

[Apparently, carving out a man's heart doesn't do anything for her. Okay, Black Mage, play it safe. Play it cool.]

It's everything you want it to be. Just look, it's big and still throbbing. Like love.

[holyhandmage]

...Why do I even bother?

[helldoken]

That's because I'm wearing you down, babe. You know you can't resist the Black Mage.

[The heart plops out from beneath the bag he's holding. Oh look, it is throbbing.]

[holyhandmage]

I would rather have Fighter as my valentine.

[helldoken]

Fffffffffff...

... You know as well as I do you wouldn't.

[holyhandmage]

Really. I suppose a sword wouldn't make a very good valentine gift.

[helldoken]

And just let him serenade you through the evening with crackers and candy shoved in his mouth. You deserve better than that, White Mage.

[holyhandmage]

[Sighs.]

It is a sad day when psychopaths find me attractive.

[helldoken]

And by deserve better, I mean in the butt.

[holyhandmage]

...I feel like hitting something now.

[helldoken]

Whoa, there, save that thought for when we're in bed! ... which is where we'll be sometime in the next few minutes, right? I think I've wooed you pretty thoroughly here.

[holyhandmage]

...

[Sighs and facepalms.]

[eldritch_abomination]

Hey hot stuff. I got you a heart and a bit of rib that sort of got embedded in there.

[it's kinda impaled on his dagger]

[holyhandmage]

...That is aboslutely the most deplorable valentine I have ever received.

[eldritch_abomination]

But I specifically went looking for the person with the biggest heart in that stupid town!

[holyhandmage]

I feel sorry for that man.