Reality check and a voice test...maybe?

[melomancer]

 So you've finally picked up my book, eh? It's good, yes? Yes. Now before you go jumping into anything there are two things I must insist upon, vodka and safety. I'm not like the others. I'm not a field agent and I like it that way.

And no, I am not too sure about the guy who played me in the movie either. It's good he was Russian but do I really look that old and creepy? And the trench coat? What am I flasher? Do I sell watches?