dear_mun | How long has it been, though ...

What the heck are you even talking about here? If you don't mind my asking.

Just the usual, yo. Tryin' ta keep the mun in line and still get my kicks is all kinds'a boring, though, so I might have'ta give it up soon.

Okaaaay. Actually, I think I got that. I can get behid that.

I should hope someone isn't trying to play match maker with you.

What'cha tryin' ta say, boss? Don't think I'm proper match-makin' material?

Not at all.

[Blunt.]

Are any of us?

Hey, speak for y'self: ladies love this!

[ Reno gestures vaguely to his torso with the hand holding his cigarette. Then, with grim humour, he adds; ]

Although I guess we ain't so good for the long-term.

Not good for many people in the long run.

[And it really isn't meant to be depressing. Just factual.]

Though maybe somewhere else it might be more...plausible.

See? Just gotta keep a little optimism. Bet we could even find someone for you if we just looked in the right place, huh?

I have someone where I am now, actually. Half of someone.

You would be the tougher case, I think. You burn out so quickly. And set so many fires...

[That might be a joke.]

... You do not.

[ Because he refuses to believe that. C'mon. Reno was kidding about the 'finding a person for Tseng' part. :| ]

I don't burn out quick, I just like'ta have a lotta options, y'know? And I've only started maybe seven fires, so that ain't even an issue.

[ Smug smile? Yeah. Smug smile. ]

I do.

[He'll wait for that horror to sink in. Just for a moment. Because he doesn't really believe it himself just yet.]

I realize. The problem usually comes when those options find out about one another, doesn't it? Then comes the fire starting.

[And the smug smile just gets a raised eyebrow.]

You should meet her sometime. In another place. In between your option hunting.

[ Shit, he's serious, isn't he. Literally the most disturbing thing he's heard since that one time with Rude and—

No. ]

Well o'course I gotta meet her! Y'could be makin' her up for all I know. Not really like you, I gotta say, but it seems pretty much anything's possible here.

[ Such as Tseng getting a freaking girlfriend, what. Guess it's time for Reno to up his own game. ]

So c'mon with the details, yo. Tall? Small? Brown eyes? Blonde hair?

When you find yourself in a new place, you find you do a lot that isn't really like you. It never would have happened at home. In several ways.

[This interest. It's a bit scary. It isn't like Reno is going to go put worms in anyone's hair if he has the information, but if worms do suddenly show up in her hair (or his hair) he might blame him.]

Three of those describe Elena. Missing someone in particular?

Green eyes. Brown hair. Did I mention we're not exclusive?

[ Reno always misses Elena, okay. She responds to his taunting so well. Still, he hoots with pride at Tseng's last little comment before punching him in the arm with playful enthusiasm; ]

Forget Elena, this is about you, you dog!

[ And just like that, it's a 180 from trauma to limitless pride. The way he's reading it? Tseng has a fuck-buddy! ]

You'd better not be shittin' me, boss, 'cause I ain't never been so proud. It's about damn time.

[Tseng just gives a long-suffering sigh. And lifts a hand to rub his arm but stops himself before it actually gets to where it was punched. That would just be too embarrassing.]

It shouldn't be about me. I am also uncertain as to why I told you since you are no longer there...

[He wishes it was as simple as a fuck buddy. He feels like to explain the situation to Reno would require a ten page script and some sock puppets.]

She isn't the first, you know. Your pride might be...misplaced. And premature.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let me have this, yo.

[ He laughs again, head thrown back, before finishing off his cig and flicking it away. His final lungful of smoke curls up from his lips on a fey little grin; ]

And I ain't never misplaced my pride before. Seriously, whatever set-up you got? Sounds sweeter than mine.

Have a brief glimpse into my personal life?

[He's firm, dammit! Brief is all he's going to get. ~~And that's even knowing Reno is the closest thing to a friend he has.~~]

It is sweet for a post-apocalyptic wasteland where weird shit keeps happening. Other than the Turk to SOLDIER ratio which is absolutely abysmal.

[His eyes are going to be on the discarded cigarette.]

And you're nowhere for the set up to be sweet?

SOLDIERs. Gotta love 'em.

[ Have a sarcastic eye-roll, swiftly followed by an amused little wink. He feels you, man. That said, wherever Tseng is sounds too much like Midgard for Reno to get too concerned, although "weird shit" could mean just about anything from one Turk to another. ]

That's just the thing: I'm nowhere. The mun's not even sure she wants me to be anywhere, either, so I could be stuck here on my lonesome for Gaia knows how long.

[ He shrugs, unconcerned, before throwing an arm around Tseng's shoulders and grinning right into his cheek. Personal boundaries aren't his thing. ]

Which kinda means you gotta do good at keepin' me entertained for now, yo. Any more gossip?

Especially when you're not even in their world and they outnumber you four to one. And Strife is there except he's about fifteen and no one can tell him what happened.

[He restrains another sigh. And the urge to rub his temples. Usually Reno's causing the feeling, not listening to it.]

Perhaps the mun needs somewhere low pressure for you. You are a rather...high key individual? Though I doubt you do well on your lonesome.

[Now, he does sigh. But he doesn't move away, just turns his face into that grin and gives him a deadpan look.]

Vincent Valentine thinks he's Sephiroth's father, Wutai doesn't exist in other places, I still know how to cook over open flame, and dead people come back to life. Is that enough?

[ His eyebrows have been creeping higher and higher up his forehead as Tseng reels off what's been going on around him, and for once? He's kind of glad that he's not stuck there by his side. He doesn't have half the patience required to deal with that without just ... fucking ... murdering everyone.

EMR style. ]

Yep, that'd about do it!

[ Reno wrinkles his nose just a little as he lolls against him, at ease with the proximity of Tseng's "look". Dead people coming back to life? That sounds like the absolute worst. And kinda scary, actually. ]

No wonder y'need a pretty lady to take ya mind off things, huh? And Valentine, man. The guy always had a couple screws loose. Maybe I ain't so envious after all.

The screws are loose and rattling around in his head as far as I'm concerned. Beyond the fact Sephiroth seems to be feigning sanity and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to go on a fiery killing spree again.

[And won't that be a mess to clean up. At least it's not his job, this time. He'll just sit back and have a cocktail and figure out how to phrase "I told you so" without those exact words.]

It isn't a position to be envious of, however busy it keeps me. You were there briefly, you know. It's only recent you...left.

I promise I at least made sure you weren't eaten by anything.

[Isn't he a good Director? And Reno gets an awkward pat on the head, which is still too close to his face.]

I was?

[ He lifts an eyebrow, curious, because he's heard tell of this sort of thing happening before. ]

Yeah, well, I don't remember any o'that, but I bet I was handsome, charming, and a total lady-killer! And that's on my best behaviour, yo.

[ Grinning, he finally pushes away from Tseng to support his weight on his own two legs, apparently entirely unconcerned by the new creases that've worked their way into his suit. Thanks for the headpat, bro. The Renocat is satisfied for now. ]

Real decent of ya t'make sure I didn't become lunch for some monster, though. If I didn't know any better I might even say y'cared.

You were cold, miserable, and I don't believe you wanted to be there.

[Which could describe more than half the population, really. Tseng smooths out a winkle left on the shoulder of his suit. At least he didn't break out the spray bottle.]

It is considerably quieter without you there. And the quiet isn't always good.

[That's all you get. Even if he wouldn't be adverse to any returning noise.]

Fair is there. Aerith as well.

Oh yeah? Bet that's a great fun—the old gang, back together.

[ Reno just chuckles, still not entirely on board with the idea of all these supposedly dead people now being supposedly alive. Honestly. Tseng can keep his 99 problems and be glad that Reno isn't one. ]

And don't act like I don't liven up the place when you're thinking about getting bored. I provide a real service to ya, boss, and what thanks do I get?

[ He scoffs, although it's obvious that he's just teasing. ]

None!

I'm not a favorite among the fabulous three. Two of whom were definitely dead last time I checked and one of whom I thought was. Not even you had three First Class out for your blood at the same time.

[You have any more of those cigarettes, Reno? Because Tseng kind of wants one. Also a shotgun.]

Well you are my second in command. And I do give you more than your fair share of the entertainment budget. Not that I have either of those things where I am currently.

So, yes, your existence there would be appreciated but thankless.

I'll bet. I'll also bet you kinda hate your life right now, huh?

[ Yes, of course he has more cigarettes, and guess who also just happens to be a mind-reader when it comes to the guy he works under? You got it. After all, there's really no better way to keep out of someone's bad books than to learn how to read them, and Tseng's bad books are the worst.

Reno pops one from the carton and lights it with a quick puff before offering it across; ]

You want?

[ Because hey, if not, he's not opposed to smoking it himself. Everybody wins. ]

Appreciated but thankless. [ He rolls his eyes, a smirk playing across his lips as he takes another thoughtless draw from the proffered cig. ] Nothin' new there, yo.

They are so far fortunately easy to avoid. You grossly offended one, I beat the shit out of one, and the other one is as much of a hermit as he's ever been to the point I sometimes wonder if he spends hours tangled up in his hair that seems atrociously impractical for the battle field.

[He's one to talk. Except he's not a SOLDIER and there's a difference in the validity of his hair. He's also watching the cigarette with something akin to lust and oh does Reno know him.]

You know I quit.

[But that's not going to stop him from taking it with a tip of his head to show his gratitude. He takes a drag on it like he never really quit, too.]

Then it wouldn't be such a major change for you. But it is oddly quiet. No Elena. No Rude. No Rufus. No one still in our corner.

[Challenging, right?]

[ Reno shrugs with easy indolence, fingering his pack of cigs as though contemplating having another himself. Unlike his boss, he has no intention of ever pretending to quit. ]

Quiet? Well, you gotta at least be able to enjoy that. Even if you're surrounded by nutjobs.

[ Because Tseng sure does know how to kill the buzz back in the office - Reno can't help that he likes to live his life loudly, okay? Especially when paperwork is involved. Loud, loud complaining.

... Still. The prospect of 'no Rufus' does sound like fun, especially since Tseng seems to be somewhat less stressed now that he's out from under his thumb. ]

So who's givin' out the orders now, huh, if you ain't got Rufus to answer to? You go freelance?

I'd enjoy it more when a lot of this quiet time isn't spent looking for food or supplies. It's worse than Meteor, some days.

[Except no one's dying, usually. And if they are they just come back so he can't find it in him to give two damns.]

Freelance, yes. No one is giving orders. Some people try but...

[But is he going to listen? Of course not.]

It's mob rule, however much they'd like to pretend otherwise. And the best self-serving son of a bitch will have the most power.

[ Well. Well. If there's one thing Reno understands it's self-serving and mob rules—heck, there'#s a reason he doesn't play so well with the other kids in the playground. That seems to perk his interest just a little, enough to light a sparkle in those sky-blue eyes; ]

Sounds like a party to me!

[ Although Reno's never going to be allowed to be in charge of much he's very good at wheedling his way to the almost-top; he can be a bit of a psycho when he has to be, he's brutal and merciless in the field, which makes him a valuable asset to any team that sees the uses of a wild card. Tseng should know. ]

But I guess you've gone for the subtle approach, yeah? Ain't makin' too many waves? 'Part from the bit where ya beat the shit out someone.

[ He looks wistful all of a sudden, then winks. ]

Wish I'd seen it. Always a pleasure to watch ya work.

[And now, now Tseng sees Reno come to life a little more. Because he does like it. He does seem to thrive on it. No laws, no rules, no one telling him to at least tuck in his shirt when they're acting as bodyguards and no one to make him clean the blood off his shoes. Tseng is a by the books man. Reno threw those books out the window.]

The subtle approach is usually best advised when you have super-powered people who think everyone else is morally reprehensible, yes. If you operate covertly and don't pick on their favorites, they leave you alone. Lest they be seen as tyrants.

[Silly, isn't it? But Tseng smirks and draws on the cigarette and silently tells himself this is the last one, even if he knows that's a lie.]

Rhapsodos was well deserving; I'm certain you understand that much. A shame you didn't join me for that particular moment, though. I'd enjoy seeing what work you could do.

Ugh, him.

[ Reno makes a face of distaste. ]

Wouldn't touch that slimy fucker for anyone; not unless it was to de-pretty that pretty face o'his, in any case.

[ And he means that. Still, there's no small hint of pride in his grin when Tseng mentions enjoying watching him do his thing too. ]

I aim to please, yo. I always said ya kept me around for a reason—Rude says not, but he's been wrong before.

Sephiroth gets on your ass if you touch him. He's also sick. You wouldn't want any of that to get on your hands just in case it is contagious.

[He doesn't think it is, but he's been wrong before. And he doesn't want Sephiroth on his ass without any back up.]

I keep you around for several reasons, so you can tell Rude to pay up however many beers or much gil he owes you now.

[Gold star sticker! You're his second in command for reasons! He didn't just pull your name out of a hat.]

One day maybe we'll be able to pair up for projects again.

Reason number one bein' my fierce animal magnetism, right?

[ But he's laughing—partially because he thinks he's so damn funny, partially because Sephiroth's managed to get sick, but mostly because it's just good to have found a friendly face in Tseng. Even if it's pretty much always smooth and deadpan. ]

One day, yeah. The mun says y'might catch me around here more often, whatever that means. Maybe even over on those meme things: she gets all crazy for 'em, apparently.

[ And you're damn right you didn't just pick his name out of a hat. Reno might know he's hopeless, but he als knows he's good. ]

Even better if the project's drinkin' an smokin' up past midnight.

That just makes me wonder if you lure forest wildlife to you.

[Disney Princess Reno! Tseng smiles, just a little bit. It's a tiny quirk of the lips but it's as good as a full on toothed smile in most people.]

And my mun will be on the lookout, then. Memes are...the things my nightmares tend to be made of but I can at very least watch you suffer with me, hm?

[No maliciousness there at all and Tseng's tone is still smooth and even. Even warm.]

Then you're in luck. There's hardly anything to do but drink and smoke past your bedtime.

How long has it been, though ...

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Buhhh please excuse my slow, I've been researching and planning an essay. :')

No worries!

♥!

♥♥

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