How long does the awkward voicetesting phase last?

[gunslingerguy]

I don't care if the bloopers are the 'most hysterical thing ever' and if you're 'struggling to remember' my Southern accent. You are not allowed to rename my journal pushintoalabama, hittennessee, wellhowdyyall or anything else my actor said.

Your mom is Southern. Get her help or canon review if my accent is really a problem. It's barely even there anyway.

Why don't you do something useful like get Sierra here? I miss that AI somethiin' fierce right about now. At least he didn't actively mock me.

P.S. Quit spamming the Channel Awesome tag!

Comments

[sailorlaughter]

Hee! You kinda talk like my friend Applejack! Except she's a happy pony, and YOU just seem kinda like a Mr. Frowny Sadface!

You know what I bet will cheer you right up? A WELCOME TO DEAR MUN PARTY! [PARTY CANNON GO BOOM. Confetti everywhere.]

[gunslingerguy]

...you wouldn't happen t' know a guy named 90's Kid, would you? I think you two would get along real well.

[sailorlaughter]

[GAAAAAAASP]

You know 90S KID? He's only like my super-duper bestest friend EVER! Well, except for all my friends back in Ponyville, but none of them are on the Satellite with us anymore. Now we have to do all the awesome pranking all by ourselves!

Hey! Your Welcome Cupcake's done - it's red velveeeeeet~! [Where did she pull that from WHO CARES EAT IT IT'S DELICIOUS]

[gunslingerguy]

Oh, you're on the Satellite too? I guess that means I'll be seeing you soon, then. Yeah, I know 90's Kid, but only as acquaintances. We're not close.

[He stares at it, confused.] That's cake. You're giving me cake. I haven't had that in... three, four years? [He takes it like she's handed him the Holy Grail. His face falls suddenly after a moment, though.] I used to have these with my wife back when we were dating. It seems like a lifetime ago.

[Yes, your cupcake just managed to make him legitimately depressed. Sorry, Pinkie; it's complicated. You didn't know.]

[sailorlaughter]

Really? Then I'm gonna have to make you TWO Welcome Cupcakes!

[Slooooooow headtilt. He's sad now. Cupcakes aren't supposed to make people SAD!]

...or would it be better if I made you a Welcome Pie? I used to do that for Maes...

[gunslingerguy]

To be honest, I've been on synthetic food so long I'm not sure if I'll be able to eat anything sugary without throwing up. But this is fine. I appreciate the gesture, I do, it's just - unexpected, is all.

[He takes a small bite off of it and tries not to hide the obvious system-shock, but it's a big step up from the normal fare.] It's good. Thank you.

[sailorlaughter]

Oh! Twilight says that when I'm around, the only thing you can expect is the unexpected! Isn't that great?

You're super-duper welcome! [Good job, Jaeris, she looks quite proud of herself.] And don't you worry, your Auntie Pinkie Pie's gonna TOTALLY make sure you get used to eating all sorts of good food again! I mean, how else are you gonna have a slice of cake at the next party?

[gunslingerguy]

'Auntie' Pinkie Pie? I'm pretty sure I'm older than you, not the other way around. [He nibbles, but the foreign taste of red velvet makes him almost reluctant to swallow. Normal eating habits are a distant memory.] I think if I got invited to a party, though, I'd just stand around in the back somewhere. The last party I was... I don't remember, but a while ago.

[sailorlaughter]

That's okay! As long as you're having fun!

[gunslingerguy]

I don't really do fun. I survive. I eat. I sleep - badly. That's about it.

[sailorlaughter]

[GAAAAAAAAASP]

But that's AWFUL! You need an EXTRA-big dose of fun, stat!

[punsofiron]

Pity. My mun's laughing her ass off at all of those. She also suggests "more_southern."

And eh, don't worry about spamming the tag. We do it all the time.

[gunslingerguy]

My mun likes the way yours think. Given how she's working on my app for itsjustagamerp, that probably means we'll be seein' more of each other. [A beat, and then he facepalms.] Platonically! Mun, quit trying to ship me with everyone I meet.

It's her way of 'voicetesting' me. AKA she's bored.

[punsofiron]

Oh don't worry about that. Linkara's been gone for a while, but he's still my boyfriend. Doesn't stop her from shipping me in secret, buuuuut...

[gunslingerguy]

And I'm married, which you think would stop my mun from shipping me with anyone. I have a gun powered by our love, for the love of... whatever your world worships.

[milliondollarpipes]

[He really does enjoy all this amusement at your expense. Really.]

I dunno, those first two have kinda a nice ring to 'em.

[gunslingerguy]

I didn't even know what Alabama and Tennessee were until this morning. I think that fact means I can't have those as usernames by default.

[milliondollarpipes]

Don't count on it.

So, you're comin' to the Satellite. [He looks thoughtful.] I ain't gonna even have any idea who you are in there.

[gunslingerguy]

Tlaol be praised, [Jaeris mutters under his breath, before saying more loudly,] I should probably tell you then I will bullshit you and Liz as hard as I can. I don't want you two coming after me for the whole... what's a polite word for clusterfuck? For that.

And my app's not even done yet, so. Give it a bit.

[milliondollarpipes]

Wouldn't expect anythin' less. [That's a rather irritated look, but he can't really blame you.]

[gunslingerguy]

Look, I'm sorry, but I don't want you trying to kill me. I'm tired of fighting. And I'm kind of nervous about being without Sierra to start with... that AI may not be up to your Pollo's standards, but he was the only one there for me after everyone died.

So I'll probably be too busy trying to cut my wrist with my gun to notice you, actually.

[milliondollarpipes]

[Sigh.]

Don't worry about it, I see your point. Don't mean I'll be happy about it in there if I find out...but let's not worry 'bout possibilities right now, you ain't even in yet.

...oh. Yeah, 'bout that... [He actually looks genuinely sorry to be passing on this information.] They ain't really big on lettin' you arrive on the ship with weapons.

[gunslingerguy]

[Jaeris visibly crumbles, stepping back and wrapping his arms around himself.

And then, despite having just had the worst blow possible dealt to him... he just goes quiet and his eyes get glassy. Not teary, glassy. Like he's not even seeing the space in front of him. There's just silence. Long, unmoving, unseeing silence.]

just break my fuckin' heart why dontcha

[milliondollarpipes]

[Shit.

The guy would've found out sooner or later anyway, but Harvey suddenly feels unaccountably guilty for bringin' it up. He's not sure if that's a thing he'd wish on even his worst enemy - and the Gunslinger isn't really among those anymore anyway. Instinctively, he glances around, but of course there's nobody else to help deal with this. Just him.

After a few moments, he steps forward to awkwardly lay a hand on the other man's shoulder, watching him with careful concern. There's nothin' he can think of to say that would help at all, but he feels like he oughta do somethin'. You don't just stand there and watch while someone else has a mental breakdown.]

Jaeris' life lends itself well to that kind of thing.

[gunslingerguy]

[Jaeris is so unaccustomed to touch that the sensation does indeed snap him back to reality. He flinches hard and breathes in sharply, blinking hard for a moment to bring himself back to the moment, but it's clearly an uphill battle.

Finally, he murmurs weakly,] I don't... I don't need it to shoot anyone. My wife made it. It's all I have left of her.

[He's shaking. Visibly.]