How long does the awkward voicetesting phase last?

[gunslingerguy]

I don't care if the bloopers are the 'most hysterical thing ever' and if you're 'struggling to remember' my Southern accent. You are not allowed to rename my journal pushintoalabama, hittennessee, wellhowdyyall or anything else my actor said.

Your mom is Southern. Get her help or canon review if my accent is really a problem. It's barely even there anyway.

Why don't you do something useful like get Sierra here? I miss that AI somethiin' fierce right about now. At least he didn't actively mock me.

P.S. Quit spamming the Channel Awesome tag!

Comments

[gunslingerguy]

I was a critic. I wrote reviews of music. The government decided that critics were corrupting the world, just by telling the world our opinions.

So they came to my house in the dead of night, beat me, threw a black bag over my head, dragged me out of my home county for a trial where I couldn't call witnesses and sentenced me to life in prison. For talking about music.

...people were treated worse than I was for lesser things. I can't complain. I was just part of the first wave of arrests.

[sailorlaughter]

[Pinkie looks horrified.]

But that's terrible! Why would they do that?

[gunslingerguy]

They say they're fighting corruption. They say they're keeping the peace. There's all kinds of rules now about what can and can't be said, and the penalties are steep for anyone who dares to speak up. The laws came into effect after I'd been a critic for years, so all people who spoke for a living before the law was made were made examples of.

There was no jury. No witnesses. Just one judge. I went from a normal guy to a man with a life sentence in prison in forty eight hours.

[sailorlaughter]

But you got out again, right? [Considering what she knows of d_m, his presence here isn't really a guarantee of that.]

[gunslingerguy]

Yes. The resistance to the new government broke a lot of people out, myself included. That's how I wound up with my spaceship, SIERRA, and that's why I go from world to world now. But resources on the ship are scarce and my plans haven't worked out as I planned them. It's been a wild ride.

[sailorlaughter]

Oh...well, I'm glad you got out! [Pinkie probably does not understand your trauma, Jaeris.] You should stop by Equestria sometime, the Princesses'll totally give you a bunch of stuff!

[gunslingerguy]

Really? Do they have magic guns in Equestria? I need them, and it'd be nice to get some from someone without it being a war and a half.

[sailorlaughter]

We've got lots of magic, but no guns. Unless you maybe got somepony to enchant a cannon, I dunno if they do that or not. Ooooh, I could build you your very own Personal Party Cannon!

[gunslingerguy]

...a magic cannon might work. I don't think I really would use a party cannon enough to justify having one.

[sailorlaughter]

You're gonna wanna talk to the Princess then! I bet the Royal Guard has some cannons somewhere they're not using!

[gunslingerguy]

You think the Princess would talk to me?

[sailorlaughter]

Sure! I could just write her a letter, me and my friends do that all the time!

...oh, or I guess you could also talk to Princess Luna! I don't see as much of her though, I think she's usually off...[She suddenly looks shifty.]...doing secret...nighttime things. With the moon! Yeah!

[gunslingerguy]

I'd appreciate that muchly, Pinkie.

Secret nighttime things with the moon? Like what?

[sailorlaughter]

[She looks around, before leaning in to whisper (still kinda loudly) to him.]

Can you keep a secret?

[gunslingerguy]

Of course I can, Pinkie Pie. One, you're my friend, and two, nobody ever believes me about anything.

[sailorlaughter]

[Glance. Glance. Leeeeeeean.]

I think Princess Luna is the Batmare!

[gunslingerguy]

Who or what is 'the Batmare'?

[sailorlaughter]

She is vengeance. She is the Night. She is...

Batmare!!!

[gunslingerguy]

A superhero?

[sailorlaughter]

Yep! She flies around Trotham and fights crime using her awesome ninja skills!

[gunslingerguy]

They have ninjas on your planet?

[sailorlaughter]

Most of them are mules, but yeah!

[gunslingerguy]

...your world is a very strange place, Pinkie. Not bad, but kinda hard to get used to.

[sailorlaughter]

Yeeeeah, I get that a lot! [Actually at least half of that last part she probably just made up.]