icon troubles

[monoculi]

Y'know, prior to tonight, the idea of a young woman searching for pictures of me for hours - yes, hours - on the internet would've been appealing. Dare I say, even flattering.

But thanks to your umm, I'm gonna go with "exacting" preferences, you've made the whole experience not just creepy, but also profoundly wounding to my already less-than-robust self-esteem.

It's not my fault nobody makes tiny pictures of me! And, sidebar, if you wanted to make it easier on yourself, you could've gone with any canon point before I went cyclops. But no, you wanted a fancy Latin name-thingy. Well now you've made your Latin-y bed, you can lay in it. Enjoy.

Comments

[slay]

Poor piratey Xander. Not so much luck with the post-preacher icon hunting, huh?

[monoculi]

Sadly, 'not so much' ranks as an understatement, Buff. And it's weird, because who doesn't love an eyepatch, right? I hear it's the accessory du jour this season.

[demon_magnet]

Hey, there are plenty of pictures of us out there! Granted, I try to pretend most of them don't exist... and that's not even getting started on that whole 'manip' thing... which I now can't remove from my brain. Ow.

[monoculi]

I think it's best for all mankind if we just pretend those manips don't exist. In fact I'm repressing at this very moment.

But anyway, sure there are plenty of pictures of us - it's just that my mun seems to have intense aesthetic objections to 99.99% of them. Which is always nice to hear.

[demon_magnet]

Sure, no, far be it for me to protest wanting us to look good! My mun's been in the same boat, sailing the grainy, undersaturated seas of awesome 90's film stock.

[monoculi]

They're perilous seas, my friend. There's bad lighting, awful captions, funky colours, weird angles - it's a minefield. A marine, shark-infested minefield. And I think those two metaphors aren't supposed to mix.

[noshrimp]

I thought you would be happy about having both eyes. Depth perception is a gift, Xander.

[monoculi]

And I would be, Ahn - if I did have both eyes. But I don't, because of my mun's cruel and unusual choice of canon point. And now she's got this whole icon issue where there's apparently a world-wide shortage of pictures of me with an eyepatch - which is a problem of apocalyptic proportions, clearly.

[noshrimp]

Maybe you could draw the eyepatch on. With a permanent marker, of course.

[monoculi]

[aaand this is a very blank look.]

Sure, and then I could add some horns and a mustache, and potentially a goatee.

[idolstolemylook]

Tiny one-eyed pictures...

Someone lookin' for pics of your naughty bits? Because I'm sure you've taken them.

[monoculi]

Ah, Spike. Did you smell a tone that needed lowering?

[idolstolemylook]

Didn't think you needed my help for that.

dear god your Xander voice is perfect

[slayage]

My mun feels your pain with the lack of eye-patch-y Xander pictures on the internet.

Me? I think the whole pictures of us on the internet thing is still creepy.

omg, thank you! v. much appreciated

[monoculi]

It's true, there is a certain element of creep that I'm still having trouble adjusting to - but honestly, I'm not surprised by the lack of patch-y me. I'm the loveable, lightly chiselled sidekick after all. Not the main event.

<333

[slayage]

Hey. You are so a main event. You're essential. Did you already forget my super-touching mini-speech?

If there aren't enough pictures of the bestness that is you, that's their fault, not yours.

[recentlygay]

I don't know, I kind of like the Latin name-thingy. It's all scholarly and things, I hear the girls go for that these days.

[monoculi]

Well, hey, if it can work for Wesley, it can work for anyone, right?

[recentlygay]

Exactly! Pair it up with a suit and you'll be beating them off with a stick.

[surfaceshine]

Latin name-thingies are overrated.

On the other hand, look on the bright side: there could be a shitton of full-frontal nudey pictures of you running around the internet and a bunch of fangirls saying they're your wife or whatever.

[...someone looks vaguely traumatized.]

[monoculi]

I know, right? So pretentious. And tricky to pronounce!

[Xander can totally relate.]

Oh, trust me, I've got my fair share of severely disturbed admirers. They all seem to think I'm gay. And they're horribly proficient with Photoshop.

[surfaceshine]

I'll take people making me gay over thinking I'm screwing my brother.

[Cough]

Not that I came here to talk about that. I'm just saying, there's worse things, except having no tiny pictures never seems to stop these people from going ahead with the horrible decisions anyway.

[nolongerhollow]

There is nothing wrong with wearing a glass eye, as dashing as eyepatches look.

I assume that your world's healing magic and technology aren't up to the task of regeneration or a cybernetic replacement?

[monoculi]

A glass eye? It's an avenue I haven't explored, mostly due to reasons of an 'eww' nature - but I could look into it. So to speak.

...as for the healing magic, that's a no-go. And cybernetics? I wish! But no, we're not quite at the bionic man level yet.

[nolongerhollow]

Well. Perhaps you should consider going traveling to a higher technology world? I could name three with full prosthetic replacement ability, and I have only a few years' experience traveling to other worlds.

Of course you'd have to deal with maintenance. But...why not take advantage of access to the multiverse?