icon troubles

[monoculi]

Y'know, prior to tonight, the idea of a young woman searching for pictures of me for hours - yes, hours - on the internet would've been appealing. Dare I say, even flattering.

But thanks to your umm, I'm gonna go with "exacting" preferences, you've made the whole experience not just creepy, but also profoundly wounding to my already less-than-robust self-esteem.

It's not my fault nobody makes tiny pictures of me! And, sidebar, if you wanted to make it easier on yourself, you could've gone with any canon point before I went cyclops. But no, you wanted a fancy Latin name-thingy. Well now you've made your Latin-y bed, you can lay in it. Enjoy.

Comments

[slay]

Poor piratey Xander. Not so much luck with the post-preacher icon hunting, huh?

[monoculi]

Sadly, 'not so much' ranks as an understatement, Buff. And it's weird, because who doesn't love an eyepatch, right? I hear it's the accessory du jour this season.

[demon_magnet]

Hey, there are plenty of pictures of us out there! Granted, I try to pretend most of them don't exist... and that's not even getting started on that whole 'manip' thing... which I now can't remove from my brain. Ow.

[monoculi]

I think it's best for all mankind if we just pretend those manips don't exist. In fact I'm repressing at this very moment.

But anyway, sure there are plenty of pictures of us - it's just that my mun seems to have intense aesthetic objections to 99.99% of them. Which is always nice to hear.

[demon_magnet]

Sure, no, far be it for me to protest wanting us to look good! My mun's been in the same boat, sailing the grainy, undersaturated seas of awesome 90's film stock.

[monoculi]

They're perilous seas, my friend. There's bad lighting, awful captions, funky colours, weird angles - it's a minefield. A marine, shark-infested minefield. And I think those two metaphors aren't supposed to mix.

[noshrimp]

I thought you would be happy about having both eyes. Depth perception is a gift, Xander.

[monoculi]

And I would be, Ahn - if I did have both eyes. But I don't, because of my mun's cruel and unusual choice of canon point. And now she's got this whole icon issue where there's apparently a world-wide shortage of pictures of me with an eyepatch - which is a problem of apocalyptic proportions, clearly.

[noshrimp]

Maybe you could draw the eyepatch on. With a permanent marker, of course.

[monoculi]

[aaand this is a very blank look.]

Sure, and then I could add some horns and a mustache, and potentially a goatee.

[noshrimp]

Why not? Horns can look very attractive on some men.

[monoculi]

Anya, I'm not getting horns - though the potential for puns would be endless - but no.

[noshrimp]

I suppose your eyepatch puns were bad enough. Most of your puns aren't very funny.

[monoculi]

Of course. Because they're punbelievably funny.

[noshrimp]

That was awful.

[monoculi]

Okay, admittedly it wasn't my finest work. But I get points for effort, right?

[noshrimp]

If I start awarding points for puns, you'll never stop telling them.

[monoculi]

Well could you at least award me points for not making puns? I respond well to positive reinforcement.

[noshrimp]

I suppose. But only if I receive points as well.

[monoculi]

You want points for giving me points?

[noshrimp]

No. Then I would have to be dependent on you doing well. I want points for not telling puns as well.

[monoculi]

But Anya, honey, with all due respect - you're not exactly renowned for your punning. How about, instead, you get points every time you don't say something grossly offensive and/or inappropriate in a social situation?

[noshrimp]

That's a sucker's game, Xander. I'm playing to win.

[monoculi]

Have we even established a prize for this contest? I mean, what do we trade the points for?

[noshrimp]

We can figure that out once we start the competition.