dear_mun | (no subject)

[Stiles stares a little too long at the Alpha. Stiles has been careful about his feelings, letting all the little crap slide. And the big crap. Like Gerard. And that, coming from Derek of all people...

He clears his throat, looking away at last--pull it together, Stilinski. Don't make this all Lifetime movie here.] Thanks.

--Right--food--yes--[He gestures--] I know a place. Good burgers.

*Derek frowns at the expressions on Stiles' face and he moves over and gently pushes him up against the wall*

You are upset. I can smell it.

[He makes a (manly)sound when his back meets the wall and he blinks up at Derek] You can smell that? What does that even mean?

And I'm not--upset, I'm fine.

It means you're upset. Something I said upset you.

*He's not letting it go*

[Why, god, why, with the crowding and the stony face--] Nothing you said upset me! I am upsetless, complacent, seriously.

[He'd flail if he had room, and he knows Derek won't let up on this, and that sucks] I mean...I'm fine, okay? I'm...[He sighs] I'm -always- fine.

Lie.

*Derek growls it and his eyes glow red* That;s a lie Stiles.

[Now with the scary glowy eyes, he huffs, anxiety and frustration competing in his brain--why does everything have to be so complicated with him?] God just--fine! Fine, I'm upset, there, out in the open, okay!

My best friend is a werewolf, and I--I've spent a truly staggering amount of time trying to figure out how to help him, and be there, and he can't spare a frigging afternoon to just veg out with me--or even ask me how I'm dealing with all this shit--and it's stupid, because hello, he's been turned into a werewolf, and it's probably twenty times more stressful when he thinks about it when he's not--with his awesome girlfriend or winning life--and that's unfair, I'm not saying he shouldn't be happy, but being kidnapped sucks--being paralyzed sucks, being a punching bag sucks, but I'm in this, and I'm here to stay because I want to be, and I want to help you--from what I can tell, this whole nightmare isn't a picnic for you either--especially with Alphas leaving threatening graffiti on your door--and I'm worried about--and I'm just--

[Breathe. Breathe. Breathe, dammit.]

*Gently Derek's hands which had been holding Stiles to the wall, curl around his arms and draw him in, holding him close to his chest, a warm, encompasing embrace*

I don't think anyone could have handled all this better than you Stiles.

[On the verge of an attack, Derek's hands sliding over his back helps him suck in a harsh gust of air. Where being drawn in and enclosed really shouldn't help the situation, Derek's like a furnace and he smells like leather and running around outside--one of his hands fists that stupid jacket he has to wear all the time and he breathes.]

Pffhht--I'm a--I'm a regular pillar of strength--right--

I don't think you realise how important you are to the Pack Stiles. Or to your friends. Or to me.

Not many teenagers would give up their first game at first line just to help me solve a mystery.

It's a game--[It was important, yes, and important to Stiles--but Derek needed him.]

I'm just--here. [A few more haggard breaths, and a light dings over his head. He lifts his gaze to look at him..]..I'm important to you?

Few can see past their own desires...to help another.

*He tightens his arms around him, holding him close, protectively* You are.

[Stiles would--for a lot of people. It wasn't just anyone, though--it was Derek. He presses his forehead against the alpha's shoulder at his last, still sucking in air.

He sounds so damned serious--he's always serious, but this is different. The hold is just different. And, god, if his chest feels tight--in a weirdly, shockingly, good way. He takes another breath.] ..you're important to me too. Seriously--I'm just--sometimes, I think you're going to get your stupid ass killed, and--you can't do that, okay?

I'm not so easy to kill... *one of Derek's hands lift to gently cradle Stiles head, settling on his neck firmly, protectively*

It is my duty...and my pleasure...to protect you. And keep you safe.

You better not be. [True, he's seen him withstand a whole ton of shit, but everyone has a threshold. And Stiles fully intends to never let him reach it.]

Jeez, Derek..[His breathing has calmed almost completely, heart racing due to...other things.] Make a guy feel special. [He tries for a laugh, closing his eyes. The weight of what he's said not lost on him.] Not sure how, but I'm looking after you too.

*he hugs him close and rumbles a soft laugh*

Stiles....You held me up in a pool for hours. You protect me.

*he nuzzles his hair gently*

[Derek laughed. Seriously, laughed, sans mockery and cruelty, and it's Stiles' new favorite sound ever.

And now he's nuzzling him, and fuck it's warm, and it feels like a winning goal and the garden in the back and sleeping in on the weekend and Derek--his hands grip the wolf's jacket ever tighter] Get used to it. Won't stop with the deep end of a pool.

I need to protect you...

*he rumbles it warmly* you're my pack...and my...friend. I need you to be safe...I would...be devastated if I...failed you...

Hey--hey--[He lifts his head, eyes searching out his, Derek's voice tugging his heart.] Nothing's happening to me. [He can't promise, because they both know they can't promise something like that--even if he wants Derek to swear to him, completely, that he's not going to up and die any time soon--] I'm safe. Got my--trusty brood-wolf watching my back.

Look. You won't--'fail' me, okay, no matter what happens, because I know you're looking out. I'm pack. You're my alpha. That's how that works. Right?

Yeah. *he nuzzles him gently* You're mine. And I'll keep you safe.

[His breath catches a little--like..mine, mine? That kind of mine? God, Stiles doesn't even know what kind of 'mine' that kind of 'mine' even is--and if he himself meant more than just 'mine' when he called him 'my alpha' and--but now there's more nuzzling--he leans his head into Derek's, christ help him]

--Yeah..yeah, I know.

*Derek rumbles softly*

You know. Peter would have been wiser to bite you rather than Scott. Back then. If it had been a logical choice...I would have chosen you.

[He makes a small sound--he's wondered, a hundred times, what it would have been like if it had been him out there, not Scott.

Would he have warmed up to Derek faster, or pushed him away? Would they even know Allison, or about the Argents--would Kate still be alive? Would Scott have been supportive?

He presses his forehead into the leather--] 'Wiser' is a...word. But I'm glad I'm...[he huffs--] I'm just me. And you're still...here. Being my friend.

I'm here.

*Derek's chest rumbles again* You have me.